7 Rules for Posting on Social Media for an Audience

A typical scene around Jackson Square in New Orleans

If you follow me on any of my other social media outlets (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pas de Chát podcast), you will see and hear that I took an important break from my teaching, choreographic, and media work while vacationing in The Big Easy. While I did post a few work-related items, most of my sharing consisted of personal experiences and artsy items I found while running around the charmed streets of New Orleans with my husband and friend, J-Ro. It wasn’t always this way, but I now feel funny when I use social media mainly for personal use. I’m so attuned to creating content for all of you guys that I feel odd when I revert back to more typical ways that I used social media before I began freelancing in 2011. As I head home (I’m writing this from the airport) and start revving back up into work mode, it has gotten me thinking about what I post and how I share across multiple media platforms. So, instead of keeping this knowledge to myself, I figured I’d share it with all of you. Keep on reading for a comprehensive list of 7 Rules for Posting on Social Media for an Audience.

1. Be sure to offer a variety of emotional content to appeal to a wide audience. Remember that people relate to people, so letting the public have a view into your private experience can be an extremely relatable asset to promoting your dancing, work, business, and ventures. Unfortunately, it is a harsh reality that many people hiding behind the privacy of a computer screen can become very judgmental of a person based off of the information they share on social media. If you only ever post updates about your successes, people may start to think that you have an over-inflated ego. If a majority of your posts are sad or depress, people may start to ignore your content because they don’t want to absorb your negative mood. If you focus your posts on writing disgruntled messages, people may assume that you are dramatic and unstable. Creating a range and variety of publishable content is a job within itself. You can write a legitimately upset or angry post on your social media here or there (see #7), but be sure that you offer a range of life experiences for your audience to relate to. In summing this up, be sure to come up with a game plan pertaining to the regularity of posts, range of content, and how often you plan to post about certain life happenings.

2. Post daily, but don’t post too frequently. This is one of my ultimate challenges, as I like to share a lot of content. Frequency of publishing engaging material has no perfect formula. It really comes down to seeing what your friends and audience respond to best. If you post too often, followers may feel like you are spamming their feed and unfollow or de-friend you. If you post too infrequently, your public may forget to look for your content or you may fall out of the algorithm that many social media sites rely on to share your relevant content with others. Play around with the amount of posting that your audience seems to respond to and tweak your posts and content from there.

Rehearsal to Performance of my new ballet (Photo: Eduardo Patino)

3. Try to add a visual to as many of your posts as possible. It is easy to share visual content on platforms like Instagram, where you are required to post images anytime you share . This isn’t a requirement for other outlets like Facebook and Twitter. As human beings, we are much more visual when it comes to exploring content. Think about what first draws you to read articles in magazines or on websites. Images. If you are able to upload visually relevant images along with your content, you will be that much more likely to catch the eye of followers who are scrolling through a handful of other artist's feeds just like yours.

4. If you are feeling angry, hurt, disappointed, or any range of adjectives that could be described as emotional, have at least one sleep before you write any public posts. When you are emotional, you tend to respond by reacting without reasoning. This is often the last thing you want to do. If you sleep on your reaction for just one night, you will likely wake up more rational than when you went to sleep. From there, you can decide whether you still want to follow through by sharing your original reaction, you can temper your original post into something more censored, or you can choose to scrap the whole thing altogether. You don’t want to end up in a situation like the talented choreographer David Dawson found himself in recently. After a London critic wrote a poor review of his work, his stager (who sets his ballets on companies) wrote an emotionally charged comment on the piece sparking great controversy. Mr. Dawson chose to tweet that he would attempt to avoid working in London’s dance scene in response, then almost immediately deleted the post. As he learned, even if you post something for just one minute and delete it, there is such a thing as a screenshot. Trust me on this one!

5. Stay engaged and interact with your audience as best as you can. It is easier to be responsive to your audience when you are in earlier stages of building your social media following. As your following grows, you may find that you are receiving more comments and requests for personal feedback than you can handle. It is important that you continue to maintain some semblance of interaction with your audience no matter how great their reaction may be. While I average anywhere between 2-10 messages from an array of dancers, readers, and listeners a day, I do my best to respond to each of them (even if a few months later). Don’t let these interactions take over the entirety of your work and free time. But do be sure to respond directly to as many people as you reasonably can. It is important to remember that these friends, followers, and fans are the reason that many of us get to thrive in the work that we do.

Courtesy of @thefatjewish on Instagram

6. Remember, anything that you post today could eventually be dug up years from now. Yes, most of us go through fun party phases where we might want to share our fun and debauchery. Yes, many of us share diverse and, sometimes, divisive perspectives. Yes, a majority of us have regretted posting something and deleted what we shared the following morning. The one thing that most kids and young adults don’t understand is that social media somehow morphs from a platform to share with friends to a platform for professional associations. Keep in mind that we sometimes share things that feel acceptable and culturally appropriate in the moment, but may reflect poorly upon us when a potential employer looks up your information, when you become the face of an organization/movement, or you react too quickly to a particular situation (see #4).

7. Make sure you are presenting your most genuine self. This is, perhaps, the most challenging task for anybody using social media to enhance or promote their work. Projecting confidence and sharing exciting experiences should absolutely be a part of your social media behaviors. But people are drawn to experiences that they can relate to more than things that are out of their social reach. If you can make yourself relatable by sharing genuine thoughts, successes, challenges, and experiences whilst throwing some unique and intriguing content out there, you will find that you can easily maintain and grow an audience that is emotionally invested in your life’s work.

Cheers from NoLA!!!!

Over-Promoting on Social Media

If you read my last post, you are already aware that I launched a podcast as a part of the brand new Premier Dance Network. Since that launch, I have had some very exciting things happen. At this very moment, Pas de Chat: Talking Dance is listed as "New & Noteworthy" on the iTunes charts ranking #49 in Arts and #63 in Business. We have had a few hundred downloads and I am really, Really, REALLY excited about it! Of course, I am happy to share this excitement (and continue promoting) on my social media networks; which range from Facebook (my most heavily used) to Instagram (next down the list) to Twitter (my least favorite). And, initially, I saw a mirror-reflection of my excitement in the number of likes, loves, and comments on my accumulating podcast postings. Then, perhaps, the most exciting thing of my launch week happened. Dance Magazine wrote up an article about both my podcast and my sister podcasts (which even included an image of me dancing). In my thrill and happiness, I shared this, too. As I sat back waiting for the scroll of likes to appear on the locked screen of my iPhone, nothing happened. A few minutes passed and making the assumption that there must be something wrong with my connectivity, I opened my screen and tapped on that trusty blue "F" app to see how many notifications I had. None. And nearly 24 hours since I posted, 6 likes. What happened?

I am no stranger to the string of events that happened yesterday. Each time that I have launched a new project (like this blog), I have to remind myself that there is a fine-line between sharing something exciting, using social media as a tool for promotion, and over-saturating my feed with excessive impersonal, promotional content. I have gotten pretty good at the wildly obscure balancing act that is engaging social media. But even experts like myself can fall victim to the circumstances they study and understand.

When I first started using social media back in the days of Myspace, these self-producing content systems seemed like the next best thing to living in the same house with all of your friends, old and new. It was engaging, quick, and direct. And being an artist at the young age of 21, who had lived in 5 states in 5 years as I finished out my training, it was a great way to stay in touch with my peers who also scattered across the country to pursue their passion and art. Once I got spammed off of Myspace and opened the pages of Facebook, I felt that it became even more personal. At one point, I remember watching the news and listening to a story about how social media was beginning to be used as a marketing tool for certain target markets. I remember turning to my Danya and saying, "I can't imagine Facebook becoming one giant commercial." Well, those days have arrived and passed. And for the most part, it is us every day people creating those commercials.

Today, most social media sites share two things. The, sometimes, facade of a personal connecting of people with people and the reality of providing a platform for free (or inexpensive), personalized marketing. Content is most often curated based on complex, mathematic algorithms. We are no longer connected to others and their content completely by choice, but instead see friends content strained through a network of computers that make complex, programmed decisions. Manipulating this system into thinking that we were completely in charge of what was coming to us, opened up the doors for users to see carefully curated content and marketing. Whether promoting a cause, spreading awareness of an ill friend's GoFundMe, or kick-starting a brilliant entrepreneurial idea, people started noticing that they could use social media sites to promote most anything.

I never wanted to use these web sites and apps to promote an idea, a product, or even myself. But then I found myself suddenly without a job and needed to make things work quickly. Once I came up with the idea for this blog, I reluctantly began posting my writings in my feed. I remember the first day that I introduced Life of a Freelance Dancer, I didn't have as much of a following as I do today and my posting received a small amount of excitement and attention. Over the next week, I posted about this new creation of mine, multiple times. And slowly, but surely, people that once seemed quite engaged in my daily musings became disinterested. At one point, I remember posting, "I promise that this is the last time I will promote my new blog this week, but you should check it out," and seeing a friend comment, "Oh, Thank God!" I had a feeling that I was over-promoting, but at that point I knew for sure.

What is one to do when they have a great new project and they want to garnish excitement or support from their friends, family, peers, and acquaintances? By all means, don't be afraid to promote on all of your social media channels. But remain keenly in tune with the response that you get from your networks. If your first post gets 30 likes and a handful of comments, maybe give it a day or two before posting again. If you see the number of responses declining rapidly, even to your regular, non-promotional updates, you are likely posting too often about your project. If you find that you have overreached your friend's promotional limits, step away from sharing for a few days and get back to posting personal content. Remember, like me, most of us first joined these social media networks to connect with our friends. Get back to the basics and remind your friends that they are connecting with a person, and not a business or salesman/saleswoman.

My Instagram Feed

There is no set guideline on how to promote different projects or causes that you are a part of on social media. The challenge of using these apps and networks is that you have to constantly remain aware of the reaction you are getting on your feed. Spikes in excitement don't last for long. But if you notice that the volume of likes, comments, clicks, shares, etc., that you usually get begin to fade to silence, reconsider how you are approaching your marketing and promotional techniques. Remember, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and beyond were first and foremost created to connect people to people. If you forget this idea, you may lose one of the greatest sources of support and excitement for your art, work, and self. Your Friends. While you may get a financial or career reward out of it, your dividends in friendship may take a hit. So, don't make the same mistake as I did this past week in a blind leap of excitement. Follow my simple rule for social media success. Post. Pause. Post Again. Happy social media-ing and good luck on using these amazing networks to help you reach your goals and greatest successes!

The Art of Self-Promotion on Social Media

In the past, I've written about how I became a regular social media user and how it can be used to help promote oneself. It has been nearly two years since I talked about the fine line between being a social media whore and a savvy self-promoter. And since that time has passed, my approach to marketing myself online has changed greatly. Absent from that post was the logic behind the presentation of my product and art from platform to platform. Now that my readers have a better understanding of why I use social media, I'd like to give a bit more information about my approach from within each tool that I use to make my work visible, known, appreciated, and employed.

Personal Website: (http://barrykerollis.com/)

One of the most important social media tools that any independent artist can and should have is their own personal website. I spent about six months reading up on how to start a free website using Wordpress. But instead of sitting down to execute this necessity with the vigor of an overeager scholar, I kept putting it aside like a teenager writing a major term paper. I was overwhelmed by the task and could never bring myself to experience the tedium, as well as the trial-and-error involved in creating your own website from scratch. So, when I received a fan page suggestion from Lyquid Talent and their website design firm, I reluctantly jumped at the chance to pay somebody to create a website for me. This was, perhaps, one of the smartest things I ever did for both my art and product. This was due to the fact that, in this day and age, anybody who is trying to sell any product or service is basically understood as untrustworthy without a website. Whether it is true or not, without some type of online presence that displays and validates your product or service, people will move on to work with somebody else who has their information posted online. My assumption in the reasoning for this is that people generally don't have the time to put in too much effort to determine if they want to reach out to somebody via phone or email to get the information that they need to make a business decision. They want an internet-based visualization of what you have to offer. From there, they will likely decide whether to pursue you further for your services.

To maximize my possibilities of being hired, I have to put enough information on my website to let whomever is seeking to hire me see what I have to offer.  I am not only a dancer, but I am also a choreographer and a teacher. For this reason, my website includes biography, resume, photo gallery, video gallery, review, calendar, and contact me pages.

When you first pull up my site, I have photographs that change every few seconds on my home page. I selected a variety of pictures that represent me completely as a dancer. There are classical, contemporary, and pas de deux images, as well as a headshot. From their initial viewing, this shows the viewer that I am well-versed.

On my biography page, I include a thorough, but briefer synopsis of my background and achievements as a dancer, choreographer, and instructor. On the next page, I have a complete (and possibly overwhelming) resume page. I choose to keep this resume so full because the initial resume I send out in my contact email is usually catered to the job that I am applying for. Since I send out resumes for work in three different areas of dance, it is important that I provide sections of my resume for each of these areas online.

Beyond that, my photo and video galleries offer a hearty variety of images and reels that best show my work. The review section is used to validate my work through the eyes of critics. My calendar is used to keep those interested up-to-date on what I am up to and those who want to hire me to see if I am available. And lastly, the contact me section is to offer a pathway to get in touch with me without giving away my personal email address.

Personal Facebook Page: (https://www.facebook.com/bkerollis)

I mostly prefer to keep my personal Facebook page between my friends, acquaintances, and myself. I rarely accept invitations from somebody I don't know and I never accept invitations from students I have worked with under the age of 18. I like to keep this as my own private space that isn't completely open to the public for viewing.

When I self-promote on Facebook, it is more often to let my friends know what I am up to or to reach out to my vast network of professional artists. If I can keep my friends and professional connections updated on what I am doing and keep my work in the back of their minds, they may be more likely to suggest me for opportunities if they hear of an employer in need of an artist. For example, if Jimmy hears that Johnny Dance Company needs a talented dance artist for their upcoming show, they are less likely to think about mentioning their freelancing friend Freddy, who doesn't have Facebook and hasn't been in touch for over a year. But if Freddy posted some pictures and status updates about how much he loved freelancing with another company and Jimmy saw that in his Facebook feed, he is more likely to remember that Freddy has been freelancing and suggest him for the job.

It is important to be cautious on Facebook about how much you self-promote. I find that it can be difficult to skate the thin line of helpful versus obnoxious self-promotion. Yes, you should post about that exciting award that you won. Yes, you should post that you will be dancing for a choreographer that you've dreamed of dancing with for years. But, if you find yourself posting new pictures of yourself dancing each and every day, your friends are going to get annoyed. I have seen instructors who work at drop-in studios that pay based on the number of students in the classroom who have posted videos of combinations and reminders that they are teaching 2-3 times per day, every single day for weeks on end. If you share the same type of information way too often, you are more likely to get people clicking the block button than you are to get them in class. Keep Facebook just as personal as you do professional. It was originated as a way to connect with friends.

Facebook Fan Page: (https://www.facebook.com/LifeOfAFreelanceDancer)

Let's talk about that one time I posted a status update that probably upset a few of my friends. In a matter of about 3 days, I had received five requests from friends to LIKE their new Facebook fan pages. The only problem was that their fan pages were strictly seeking fans of themselves. Now, don't get me wrong. Many of my friends deserve to have huge followings of fans. But, unfortunately, we aren't players on a sports team and a majority of our fans are our family, friends, and a small portion of the regular audiences that come to see repertory performances. So, to be completely honest, there is absolutely no reason (today) for me to make a Facebook fan page for Barry Kerollis.

I do have some friends that do have Facebook fan pages for themselves and rightfully so. These people are legitimate stars and have balletomanes from around the world seeking their personal Facebook friendship, often when the dancer has no connection to the person. This is a good reason to create a place for fans to keep up to date on the professional happenings of an artist. But when it comes to most of us dancers, we should stray away from asking for likes to boost our ego. Your friends and family can keep up to date with you on your personal Facebook page. Plus, it will save you a lot of work.

Instead of having a personal Barry Kerollis Facebook fan page, I have created a page for Life of a Freelance Dancer. And to save myself the time and energy of constantly updating this page on top of all of the other social media that I do, I only post links to individual blog posts. This leaves a place for people who just want to scroll through the over 100 articles I've written since I started blogging nearly 3 years ago.

Youtube: (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2j6KkpvAkJaEiVnCAUhijg)

A picture can be worth a thousand words. But a video may only be worth two, yes or no. It is invaluable to any dancer/choreographer that works as an independent contractor to have quality videos on a video sharing site like Youtube or Vimeo. Beyond the fact that an employer gets a true representation of what you look like in a performance or the style of works that you create, video sharing sites also save artists thousands of dollars. Where it used to be fashionable to send wasteful big yellow envelopes stuffed with your CV, photographs, and DVD reel, it is now much more acceptable to send an email with your website, CV attachment, and link to a reel. This saves you the cost of purchasing DVDs, printer ink, and other materials, as well as shipping costs. It also may save you money by covering auditions without the need to pay for a flight.  Find good video-editing software or ask a friend with editing experience, and post your best work online. Be sure to keep it updated (which I am in the process of doing over these next few weeks).

Twitter: (https://twitter.com/Bariscos)

Twitter, oh Twitter, How I Hate Thee! I'm not the biggest fan of Twitter and my activity on this social media site shows that. Twitter is the place to do everything that I told you not to do on Facebook. Since posts are short and people's feeds fly by at an alarming rate of missed content, it is generally acceptable to be the biggest self-promotion whore your heart desires. Kind of.

On Twitter, it is acceptable to post multiple times a day, to shamelessly self-promote, and to retweet every good thing that has ever been written about you. The reasoning, I am not sure. But it probably has something to do with the brevity of time that posts can remain at the top of anybody's feed who follows more than 20 people.

The reason that I hate Twitter? While Facebook has a great tendency to create addicts that need to check in with their cyber friends every few minutes, Twitter requires you to interact at the same rate. If you don't have a great deal of followers to whom you post original content for and don't stroke their Twegos with a never-ending stream of retweets, you will not get much use out of Twitter. This social media platform is heavily based on constant interaction and reciprocation. And I just don't have time for that, unless I quit all other forms of social media and stop eating meals. I'm also not a fan of people retweeting more than one or two reviews of themselves that call them out as being geniuses or more. Take note.

Instagram: (https://instagram.com/bkerollis/)

It took me a few years to hop on the Instagram bandwagon. Why? Because I was afraid I would stop doing anything other than breathing and posting pictures on Instagram. I love this platform because I feel that it is the closest way of seeing the world through somebody elses eyes. Not only can I see what my friends do, but I can share a unique perspective of how I view life for others to see.

I have some friends that use Instagram purely to show how fun and unique the life of a dancer can be, while others rarely ever post anything relating to their work or art. My approach to Instagram is to post things that I love and are oddly unique. For this reason, I post on instagram for both pleasure and self-promotion. Due to the necessity to take images and alter them for optimal viewing pleasure, it can be difficult to over-promote on Instagram. This is one reason that I love using this platform.

Blog: (http://lifeofafreelancedancer.blogspot.com/)

Well, if you are here reading this content, I hope you realize that you are on a self-promoting social media platform. I love to write, perhaps, because I like to talk. It is the best way to say everything that I want to say without the interruption of conversation that can get one off track (though I love socializing, as well). Blogging is not for everybody and it is definitely a fine-tuned art. But more than any other platform for self-promotion, blogging defines itself as the most useful tool to reach out to an audience. The reason for this is because, if you can build an audience, you have the ability to share your view, sell your product, and help others. And if you can help others, they will help to validate your product and promote you.

The big challenge in blogging is that you have to be good at it. Blogging isn't just good writing. It is a combination of many things I have already talked about in this post. Writing online requires a unique, authoritative voice. Not only that, you have to develop some type of respect and appreciation from your field. In other words, people need to trust what you say and the validity behind your voice. Beyond that, you need to find ways, usually using social media, to self-promote your self-promoting blog before it becomes popular enough that it shows up for web searches or is mentioned by online publications. For these reasons, I believe that blogging is the most powerful, but difficult to use, form of self-promotion that is currently available online for professional artists like me.

Why blog when it brings me no income?

A typical blog-writing situation for me

One of the first questions people usually ask me when I tell them that I have a popular blog is if it makes me lots of money. When I answer, "no," many people are baffled that I spend so much effort creating and working on such a time-consuming, journalistic venture. It was never my intention to use this social media platform to roll in the dough. I, initially, thought it would be nice if I could make a little extra cash through my writing. But I always had different, non-monetary motives.

A few years ago when I found myself unemployed mid-season, I immediately had to find a way to keep working. I didn't have a financial cushion to wait until the new dance season started. I desperately needed to find a way to make a living and continue on with my career. At that time, freelancing seemed like the only way to survive. I knew if I wanted to find employment, I needed to market myself. But I didn't know many other ways to sell my product outside of Facebook. While brainstorming up ideas, I remembered how much I used to enjoy blogging on Myspace. From that moment on, I knew that I had to create Life of a Freelance Dancer.

When I first started blogging here, people constantly told me I needed to include Google Adsense to my postings. But I always felt that I needed to spend a solid period of time developing my writing and audience before adding this money-making tool to my site. Additionally, I never really wanted my readers to feel that I was using them to make money with the facade of a blog. So, I gave myself a number, 10,000 views, before I would try to add these ads to my pages of writings.

It took me about six months to reach my goals on viewership, which was right on track for my best-case scenario. Right as I reached my mark, I wishfully opened my browser and started going through the application process to place Google Adsense advertisements on my blog. After a few days had passed, I received an email that unapologetically denied me use of this popular revenue tool. Why? Because the unique niche that made my blog so popular was also so unique that they didn't feel that they had any products that would appeal to my audience.

When I got the news, I wasn't really that disappointed. I didn't really want aimless, materialistic ads flashing at dancers and independent contractors around the world. In fact, I was afraid that the appearance of ads would not only deter building my audience, but that it could turn away the audience I had already cultivated from reading my content.

Lacking any instant financial reward leaves many who have inquired about my blog confused about why I would put so much effort into such a time-consuming activity. There are a few reasons why writing about working as a freelance dancer without any compensation is so worthwhile. The easiest and corniest reason (but still true) would be that I get to help people around the globe. Whether using my blog as a tool in one's own dance career or an unrelated career as an independent contractor, I get to help people move forward in their vocation and navigate tricky situations that are not all that common in the gainfully employed world. Beyond that, I am humbled by the numerous people that have sent me messages from the US to Iran to India and beyond about how my openness has helped them in their careers, times of need, and searches for inspiration.

Beyond all of this sappy stuff, writing about my experiences, successes, failures, and evaluations of situations does help me make a living. While I've never made a penny directly off of LOFD, developing a public persona on an online platform has helped me greatly. I can't tell you how many employers have told me that they have felt much more comfortable hiring me sight unseen and trusting my product because of this blog. Not only that, thanks to all of this, I have been featured in Dance Magazine and Dance Informa magazine and received professional writing jobs, too.

While blogging technically gives me no income, it creates the basis for me to make a majority of my income. Other than all of this joy, warmth, and glory, writing is one of the best ways that I have found to express myself. I get so much out of writing and have learned so much more about myself as a dancer, businessman, and person. For all of these reasons, having a well-read blog is way more valuable than having my readers make money for me by clicking on ads. 

Why Post So Openly on Social Media

A movement from my ballet, Distinct Perceptions, inspired by a friend sharing about his severe OCD on Facebook (Dancer: Jackie McConnell - Photo: Dave Friedman)

My partner and I have this very specific conversation pretty regularly. "Did you see what Jimmy-Jam wrote on Facebook yesterday?" "Of course I did! How could you miss something like that?" "I can't believe that they would post that for the public to see!" "Well, how is that any different than what I post online?" "It's not...I could never do something like that! I like my privacy..." And that is how it goes. Every day, some people feel the temptation to post anything from their dance movements to their bowel movements, while others will barely share an ounce of their happiest pleasures. When somebody shares information that is socially acceptable, usually something positive (only once or twice though without appearing egotistical) or something mundane, most people move on without mentioning a word. But if somebody posts their lowest point, their biggest vice, their most embarrassing moment, or their struggles, they are often met with uncomfortable opposition or the socially appropriate cold shoulder (with whispers abound). I am definitely an over-sharer when it comes to my online presence. And while it has benefited me and hurt me, at times, I continue to share my thoughts, my lessons, and my life for friends and strangers to read. Why?

Let's start off here. I am a performer. A majority of my life, I have put myself out there on a stage. Sometimes, I get to play myself. Other times, I get to play a character. As a ballet dancer, one thing I rarely get to have is a voice. In the studio, dancers are generally told what to do. On the stage, a dancer doesn't get to tell the audience how they are feeling, what choices they've made, or what decisions were made for them. Beyond that, dancers are judged by their bodies, their strength, and their physical intuition. Rarely their mind.

When I first started blogging on Myspace, I guess I just wanted an outlet. I had just moved to a brand new city 3,000 miles away from home. I had very few friends and very few outlets. If I wanted to express myself, there weren't many people with whom I could openly discuss and assess my new-found adulthood. At the ripe old age of 20, I started using social media. It was almost like having a conversation with somebody who was a really good listener. On top of that, it was kind of like a mini-stage where I could present a performance. But that performance was my reality, my inner thinking, and my real-life personality. Having that outlet made me feel relevantly normal. I could share simple personal things with whomever felt like listening. And since very few actual people wanted to listen at the time, it filled the void and relieved the stress of being somewhere foreign with little support.

I'd take photos when I felt lonely in Seattle - Elliott Bay

As social media has grown over the years, nearly every American has at least dabbled in some form of online platform. This has led to a wide variety of ways people approach online networking. When I first started blogging, I would post about my inner dialogue while sitting on the bus system in Seattle. Sometimes, I would post how I was feeling after a bad set of casting went up. People started criticizing me for sharing how I felt, but in the end I knew it was my choice. When a Principal with PNB came up to me and told me I need to stop writing my thoughts and feelings online, I found it wildly ironic that she was admonishing me while clearly reading a majority of the posts I was writing.

After nearly a year of blogging, I made my first big social media mistake. After a really bad break-up with my first love, an attempt of friends to get us together to potentially reconcile, and another friend dabbing my fresh wounds with bounds of alcohol, I posted a nasty attack towards my former love. It was probably about 3 AM in the morning and by the time I had woken up nearly 6 hours later, that post had been read well over 100 times. I immediately deleted the post and felt ashamed for letting myself stoop to that level. It's the only post I've ever deleted. I learned a lot from that error. But I didn't stop approaching my public posting from the most honest and open place I possibly could.

Over time, I have had a handful of experiences that have been affected by my social media presence. I find that people are initially excited by my postings. It lets them have a better idea of who I am as a person without really knowing me at all. I also find that companies love it when you post something positive. Like, "Such an inspiring day working in the studio today." But, the moment that things start to go negative,  the formerly projected excitement turns into disdainful judgement.

When I hurt my back in 2012 and was having a rough week in the studio with a choreographer who was treating me badly, I wrote a single sentence update about how lost I was feeling. A few days later, my boss (who had previously lauded my social media presence) pulled me aside and said, "You need to watch what you post online. Everybody knows that you are talking about us." The funny thing was that I mentioned no names, mentioned nothing of work, mentioned nothing of my injury. I was just feeling lost. But the second that there wasnt a big :-D on my Facebook, I was committing a foul act.

Sometimes, life is stormy - Mount Baldy, Alaska - 9/21/14

Recently, I have been watching an old friend on Facebook going through a hard time (I can also see that they are getting the support they need). Whether they are dealing with real life issues or having a complete emotional break down, I don't know. But watching this person post the darkest of life's moments for all to see online has been very interesting to watch. My partner keeps saying, "They really need to stop putting all of this for the public to see. It's mortifying!" While my reaction was, "Well, what if somebody else is going through something like this? Why should they be so ashamed to have this experience in public?" There is no right or wrong. But people learn from people. When one person smiles, often you will smile. When you watch somebody in pleasure, you often want to feel that pleasure. When a person cries, how often do people start crying around them? People are moved by people. And for some reason, people will often look down at other people who are experiencing something tragically moving because they don't want to be brought down by that experience.

What living a publicly present social life comes down to is that sentence in the above paragraph, "People are moved by people." Why should someone share what they are experiencing? Because it moves people to feel, it moves people to think, it moves people to act. Sometimes life is amazing. And sometimes, life just downright hurts. Sometimes, your boss makes you feel horrible. Sometimes, your organization gives you an award for being an upstanding employee. By reacting to life publicly, people are offering a real life cinema across the widest web of the world. And there really isn't anything wrong with that as long as you are willing to be open to the judgements, positive and negative, of all of those that interact in your web.

Should Artists be Shamed into Taking "Normal" Jobs?

At the beginning of 2014, I posted an article on Facebook about the hotly debated emergency extension of unemployment benefits. My intention was to use this platform to put a face to a statistic for people who are connected to me through this social media site. Instead of getting the chance to inform some of my friends, an acquaintance I had met only a few times nastily and judgmentally brought an unexpected wave of wrath onto my page. This person, who barely knew me, was judging my use of unemployment without even hearing how I ended up on the assistance program or how I had been desperately searching for a full-time job in my field. I had spent a great deal of time trying to find solid employment in the dance world. But instead of asking for facts, she berated me by stating that I was abusing the system and should just go ahead and get a restaurant job or work as a barista. She felt that it was my duty to take whatever menial job necessary to get off of unemployment. After spending months and months executing well beyond the 3 required weekly work searches (3 being the minimum), I was being reprimanded by someone who wasn't informed in the least about my situation. Little did she know that I was barely collecting benefits as it was because of my freelance work and part-time teaching job with Koresh Dance Company. While it was uncomfortable having this woman awkwardly attack me on a public forum, she also got me thinking about what was considered an appropriate job for not just myself, but all professional dancers and artists.

I wouldn't necessarily say I've ever had a normal job. When I was 14, I would help my mom out at her Dollar Store. But I was so young and dedicated to dance that it didn't last long before I was at the studio daily. In fact, I can't even remember if she paid me. My first full-time job was working as an apprentice with Houston Ballet at the ripe age of 19. I have spent 12 years cultivating my career as a dancer, a choreographer, a teacher, and an advocate for the arts. When I found out that the benefit of unemployment (my safety net and right after being unrightfully fired for an on the job injury) wouldn't be extended, I panicked. I was already employed part-time and collecting a small amount of salary each week teaching at Koresh. I had also obtained about 12 weeks of dance work through the end of Spring. I wouldn't end up receiving unemployment during those weeks that I was dancing and received a reduced rate when I was off due to my part-time compensation. Unemployment was just a safety net for me until I could find a regular place to dance and call home. But all of a sudden, I found myself questioning if I was a bad citizen and whether or not I should desperately take any minimum wage job I could find, which I would have had no experience in and probably wouldn't provide anything sufficient enough to pay all of my bills.

I have many freelancing friends that take restaurant, barista, and other random jobs just to make ends meet. They often miss class and stand on their feet for hours before and after working those very feet in a rehearsal studio. Not only is this exhausting, but it can heighten one's chance of injury and accelerate the process of burnout. When I started looking into getting a normal non-dance related job, I found myself living in fear and anxiety. Will I have to give up my dance career? Will I suffer from depression? Will the quality of my dancing go downhill? How can I go from making $1000 per show to minimum wage plus tips? Beyond that, can my eccentric artist personality coexist in a non-artistic workspace? I had so many questions that came up when I considered this as an option.

The woman that chose to publicly criticize me stated that she had to get a restaurant job while trying to make ends meet while striving to make a career for herself as a ballet student going through finishing school. She, unfortunately, never made a professional career as a dancer and moved on to other work. When I read this information, it made a little more sense. At one point in this person's time as a dance student, she had to step outside of her art to make ends meet in order to keep reaching for her goal of dancing professionally. While she had the heart of an artist, it wasn't her career. Since then, she has cultivated a successful career beyond her dancing years. Without experiencing our career, people often assume that a professional artist's art isn't actually a career. When she argued that unemployment wasn't an end to a means for me to continue practicing my art, it all began to make sense to me. It also made me very sad about the way that most people, including a former hopeful dancer, looked at artists. It is so very often that people forget that art is a legitimate job. If you work in marketing, you should look for jobs in the marketing field. Not McDonalds. But if you are an artist, you are expected to look for a job in the field of "what-the-fuck-ever-I-can-get." It is greatly unfortunate that this double-standard exists. But a great percentage of our society feels this way, even those that once aspired to be just like me and my artist friends.

So, the question is, should I have just taken any menial job outside of my profession that seemed below my standards because I am a professional artist? I don't know. But even without one of those jobs, I have found ways to make ends meet (even if, at times, tightly so). And because I held out and resisted the temptation of this localized socio-cultural bullying, I was able to obtain a full-time job in my field that appropriately represents the professional artist that I am and rewards me as such. Yes, sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. But professional artists need to remember that art is their job. Not some fun, child-like hobby that we are too stubborn to let go of.

A desperate moment in my new work, Distinct Perceptions (Dancers: Shira Lanyi & Allen Abrams - Photo: Dave Friedman)

"It's a Freelance Life" video

I was perusing my Facebook feed last night when I noticed an acquaintance, who is a fellow freelancer, posted this fun video to his page. Sometimes, when you work as a freelancer, you feel very alone in your emotions and harshly judge your own lifestyle. For instance, I really associated with the lines in this video, "I hate myself for waking up at noon" and "weekday drinking life." This humorous parody of It's a Hard Knock Life from Annie is a great representation of how I feel a great deal of the time. And you know what, I always feel better when I don't feel like I am the only one in the world experiencing a challenge. So, with that, watch, enjoy, and laugh!

Does this video speak your truths as a freelancer?

What I learned during my week off social media

I've talked about it before. I am a social media whore. I started on Myspace back in 2004 and was blogging a few weeks later. Since that first fateful day that I logged in, I haven't logged out since. That equals nearly nine years without more than one or two unplanned days without changing my status, checking up on an old friend that I haven't talked to in years, or adding a fun photo to Instagram. Well, this all changed a week ago. I was feeling down, perhaps even in a weird funk. I tried changing my routine, I discussed details with friends for insight, and I stared at the ceiling whilst laying in my bed for hours trying to figure out why I had been feeling off for months. After changing things up over and over again, I finally decided to take a last resort stance. Whenever I felt down, I turned to social media. But this time, I would turn away from it. My comfort. My outlet. My avenue for communication to all of my friends since I travel so much. One week without it. And boy did I learn a lot. I was surprised that all of these lessons were not about my social media use. The extra time that I had available allowed me to evaluate other aspects of my life.

My first time back on Facebook in a week

 - I try to focus in on my more interesting or off-the-wall thoughts just so I can post them to get a reaction from people on social media.

- Life without social media forced me to spend more time with my own thoughts and my own issues. Sitting on social media for hours is almost numbing.
 
- I interact so much because few people reach out to interact with me. I seek this because I don't have a regular workplace to have face-to-face interactions.

- I actually hate self-promoting, but need to do it to keep my name out there and find work.

Dressing room Puck says "HIRE ME!"

- One of my non-social media specific realizations. Dance is like any relationship, it requires a lot of work, physically and emotionally.

- The notifications and messages you receive die down very quickly once you stop posting. Interaction actually slows down almost immediately. When you start posting again, it takes time for people to start noticing.

- In using social media often, I assume that I have an interesting perspective that people want to hear.

- Only one person reached out to me beyond social media during the week that I was off (Big ups, Emily!). I even posted my email address and offered my phone number before signing out to anyone who wanted to communicate with me.

- I waste a lot less time and am early to arrive places at least 50% more often than when I am using social media regularly.

- I, surprisingly, only really started missing social media on the fifth day after stopping.

- I don't really enjoy Twitter...at all! I only use it because so many other people insist on it's usefulness.

- I don't even have to think about going on social media. I, even, typed it into my browser a few times and clicked enter before I even knew I had arrived on a site.

- Sometimes, social media use is just like having too many drinks. I will sit on it for hours, so I don't have to be mindful of the way that I am feeling at that moment.

- I love Instagram because I feel like it is like implanting a camera inside my head for everybody to get an idea of what life looks like through my eyes.

My view walking home from teaching at Koresh via Instagram

- I didn't care about the content in my Facebook feed nearly as much once I returned. I started to scroll down and, before I knew it, was clicking on my browser to go to another website. In fact, my eyes glazed over and I got bored almost immediately. I still haven't figured out why I continue scrolling down endlessly. Habit?

- I had way less use for my smart phone and would sometimes sit and stare at it trying to figure out what to do with it. If I didn't use social media, I'd consider getting a cheap phone with few perks.

- Looking at Facebook after a week off is like getting the mail. You get a few pieces of good mail, some bills, and a bunch of circulars that you wish you never got and want to throw away immediately.

- Everybody lauds your exit, cheering you on and congratulating your achievement. But by the time you return, most people have already forgotten you exist.

- Articles that are posted on Facebook tend to be less fact and more social commentary articles. Almost as if it is a platform to make a statement about one's beliefs, morals, and character.

- Instant gratification is never as rewarding as patience.

Social-Media Whore VS Savvy Self-Promoter

The first time I joined in the social-media craze was back in 2004 right after I had joined Pacific Northwest Ballet. I had friends that had been using Myspace for a couple of years, but I felt that there was no real reason for me to join in the fun. It took a friend of mine talking non-stop about the network for a few weeks before I finally gave in and signed up. At the time, I believed I was signing into a system to keep updated with my closest friends and to reconnect with a few friends with whom I had lost touch. Neither did I know that social-media would eventually take over my entire idea of communication, nor did I understand that it would become one of the greatest tools to market businesses to mass audiences.

Whirling Dervish (Russian) in PNB's The Nutcracker circa 2004

I signed up for Myspace around Nutcracker season nearly 9 years ago. My tipping point in joining a social-media network was probably laden by my boredom and stress of performing 40-something Nutcracker shows in 5 weeks. I signed up and slowly started to find my friends. Having a few people who thought my profile was interesting seek me out was a good feeling, too. But what really got the ball rolling was an unfortunate event at my apartment. I had fallen asleep for the night when, about 3 hours into my slumber, I awoke to a dripping noise. At the time, I wasn't aware that a hot water heater in a vacant apartment two floors above mine had burst. It was only a light drip. Nothing to write home about. But the annoyance had kept me awake well into the 3 o'clock hour of the morning and everybody in my world was already asleep. So, I turned to Myspace and wrote my very first blog. It said something along the lines of "Cindy...the light is leaking," which was a reference to a line from one of my favorite movie series, Scary Movie. I, eventually, was able to fall asleep in the living room after closing the door to the bedroom, where the water was dripping, and putting a towel under the door to drown out the sound. This was a huge mistake, as when I awoke at 9 AM to prep for my day of Nutcracker, there was water pouring down the entire length of my bedroom ceiling. All of the drama aside, Myspace was there to keep me company when nobody else was around. Thus, my role as a savvy social-media whore began.

I have never really been one to hide my emotions. Being an extrovert, writing a blog as a young, experimental 21 year old was probably not what most would consider the best idea. I shared more than 400 different accounts of my everyday happenings, odd encounters, and youthful dramas for the entire world to see. I accrued over 20,000 views during my 4-year period of writing, which is no small feat for a blog about my day-to-day life. Very few people approached me directly about my writings, but there was definitely a handful of people that felt I shouldn't share things so openly. Amusingly, these were often the people that had the most voracious appetite for my writings. Eventually, Myspace was overtaken by spam-bots and most of its' population, including myself, moved on. I switched over to Facebook, where I currently reside most of the time. But I have also engaged in (obviously) Blogger, as well as Twitter, Pinterest, Reddit, and, most recently, Instagram.

As a young adult, I used social-media to engage with my current friends, reconnect with old, and keep up to date with all things new. It wasn't until I moved away from the comfort of PNB that I started seeing another side of social-media. Perhaps, it was that Facebook had set its' intention on eventually turning their interface into a mass-marketing platform, but, for me, this is when it started to become evident. Only when I had to start finding my own work, did I see how useful it could be. When I first started looking for dance jobs, I would refer potential employers to my Facebook profile to see dance photos that I had been tagged in, ask for assistance from friends, and follow potential employers. As time has passed, I've better been able to refine the ways that I use social-media when it comes to promotion and finding work.

I currently have my own website that I got through a company, Lyquid Talent. This has allowed me to use Facebook for more of my personal updates, as opposed to promoting myself all the time. I noticed that friends stopped paying attention to what I was writing the more I posted about work searches and when performing self-promotion. After realizing this, I started using other channels to help with my work life. I currently aim to use Facebook for my personal life and to keep people updated on my current dance happenings. I have a separate Facebook page to keep up to date with my blog. People are more interested in hiring a person if there is something compelling about them. When it comes to work, I generally use Facebook to encourage excitement, curiosity, and a sense of mystery in my work as a freelancer, which can make me more compelling.

The other social-media platforms I use to help myself with work are Twitter and Instagram. Twitter is easier to use as a promotional tool because anybody can follow you that is interested and the 140-character limit in what you can write makes it more acceptable to post more often. I fade in and out of love with Twitter, but when used correctly it can be quite effective. As for Instagram, I probably can't say very much since I only joined about a week ago. But I can already see how effective it can be used as a marketing tool. Two exceptional artists that have gained great exposure by posting on Instagram are Daniil Simkin of American Ballet Theatre and Sara Mearns of New York City Ballet. Only with the introduction of social-media has the audience gotten a sneak peak into the life of dancers. I plan on using Instagram to document my life and travels as an artist.

Improv'ing at the gym (for Instagram)

As human beings, we learn best through experience and making mistakes. There are a few rules that I do abide by when using social-media, most of which I have learned from prior happenings. First and foremost, I try to be as open and honest as possible in my writings and postings. When updating the online world through status updates or tweets, I try to give an accurate look at my view and emotions. But I have learned that I must not share everything that I am feeling. I have had issues with people who use even the slightest hint towards negativity as fuel against me in even the most righteous moments, which was less than pleasant. When it comes to Facebook, don't post too often. But when it comes to Twitter, don't post to infrequently. Twitter is much more reciprocal when it comes to interacting and gaining followers. If somebody retweets one of your tweets, thank them. And at some point, retweet something that they posted which you found compelling. When posting pictures to the internet, don't be afraid to post something that may be intriguing or controversial. At the same time, don't post any pictures that Amanda Bynes might share. Retain your professional image, but don't be afraid to give a taste of your artistic sense. Artists have always been the first people to push the boundaries between acceptable and unacceptable.

Some of my friends tell me that I am way too active on the internet, while others follow every move I make. When you are in business for yourself, it is important that you gain a well-known web presence. While your savvy will give you more exposure and greater opportunity to gain work, it may also turn some people off. There is a fine line between making yourself known and overworking your presence. Some people may see you as a social-media whore, but few people have ever made a name for themselves by sitting quietly in a corner and waiting for people to take notice.

Staying in the loop

Once you stake a claim on your own little part of the dance world by becoming a freelancer, you will come to realize that, at times, you will feel more connected to the dance world than ever. On the flip-side, you will find that there are times when you feel more disconnected from dance-happenings than ever. I pass from extreme to extreme. Throwing my Contact event back in October gave me an opportunity to feel closely connected to many artists. But spending three months in Alaska, for instance, watching friend's Facebook and Twitter feeds filled with performance photos and merde wishes can make me feel that all of the excitement of the dance world is flying by thousands of miles from the epicenter of my career. I don't want to fall behind the mark. I don't want to walk into a conversation without an understanding of what is current. I don't want to stop expanding my experience as a dancer. So, I find ways to stay up-to-date on happenings in the dance world.

The art of dance is always evolving. Even when companies are putting masterful classics on their stages, the dancers who dance these works have different training, personalities, and styles that keep even the oldest of works fresh and exciting. One important aspect of the work a freelance dancer must commit to is keeping up with current happenings in their art. The dance world is wildly interconnected and people are more compelled to develop a relationship with you if they can relate to you through common bonds and interests. Dance is already a common bond, so it just needs to be cultivated. The other reason to stay up-to-date is because it improves your ability to market yourself and to search for work.

Important pieces of information to seek in your research include companies and their current programming, who is dancing where, and how companies are being perceived by the public. I find that I spend much of the summer scanning company websites to see which works they have chosen to put on during their coming season. It is always interesting to see trends and to analyze why they are happening. For instance, my first season as a professional with Houston Ballet, everybody was performing Balanchine works. If you weren't in the know, you could easily deduce that there was a reason that so many companies were performing his choreography. The reasoning? If Balanchine were still alive, it would have been his 100th birthday. This was the perfect reason to celebrate the choreographer and put his work on nearly every major and minor ballet company's stage. This season I have been quite intrigued by the multitude of companies that have restaged or premiered a new version of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring (one of my favorite pieces of music EVER!). I am not

Freshly painted for Tetley's "Rite of Spring" with PNB

aware of the reasoning behind this trend and maybe it will show its' face in the years to come. But it is likely that one company performed this work last season and the company had great ticket sales. Perhaps, a combination of one director's love for this work and the hype of one company's good fortune in the past year or so caught the attention of directors across the country. Or in the case of current up-and-coming New York City Ballet choreographer and newly-promoted soloist, Justin Peck, who recently created a piece for NYCB to rave reviews. He had one successful piece with a handful of promising write-ups and now everybody wants a piece of the pie. Miami City Ballet has already tagged their name onto his fresh success and mentioned that he was working with the company on social media. A few days after posting, they mentioned that he was working on a collaboration with only two dancers from the company. Nonetheless, they wanted to ride on this young choreographer's coat tails. But this is the beginning of a trend and I would put money down that he will be working with multiple companies over the next few years.

My reasoning for constantly checking rosters of dancers hired by companies is three-quarters professional and one-quarter personal. As I mentioned earlier, the dance world is quite small. It is easy to lose touch with friends and former peers. It is not uncommon for dancers to transition between a handful of companies as their careers evolve. I like to keep up with the whereabouts of my friends and to see how successful they have become. But on the professional side of things, it is interesting and helpful to see what kind of dancers directors are looking to hire. Rosters are usually updated somewhere between August and October prior to season opening performances. Scouting out information on dancers, their training, and their experience can help me gauge where I am in my career, where I want to go, where I should seek out work, where I shouldn't waste energy, and much more. You can also see whether a company is entering a transitional period, which may mean that they are more likely to hire freelancers as they regroup. Aside from company websites, I feel it is important to check out features in Pointe Magazine, Dance Magazine, Dance International, and Dance Spirit to see which dancers are being pushed into the spotlight. It is not uncommon for me to perform a Youtube search on these dancers to see how they dance. If I am isolated for a handful of months on a freelancing gig, this is the perfect way to inspire myself. I can look for qualities that I appreciate and take them on as corrections or goals in my everyday class and rehearsals. As dancers, I feel that we are most inspired by other dancers. I don't know one professional that began dancing because they saw a choreographer working. They were inspired by a dancer, who happened to be compelling dancing the work of a choreographer.

Performing my own work - Philly Fringe Fest(Photo:Bill Hebert)

One of the biggest challenges for me throughout my career has been to put less focus on a review/opinion and worry more about how I felt during a performance. This can be a challenge because most dancers want to see their name with stars around it. This is also harder because I have become good friends with a few reviewers for major dance publications with whom I love having lively discussions about performances we have seen. All of that aside, I find it extremely important to see how an educated audience is perceiving the growth or decline of companies. Of course, any review I read is viewed with a grain of salt and with the understanding that it is one individual's (or their small circle's) opinion. But reading multiple reviews of companies and their dancers can give me important information pertaining to what is intriguing, current, off-kilter, compelling, and beyond. Also, the more interest there is in a rising company, the more likely they are to have a multitude of reviews. I know that a performance is being given great weight if New York reviewers are sent away from their hometown to review a company's performance.

Now that I have explained all of the reasons one should stay up-to-date on all things dance, what are the best ways to stay current. First and foremost, staying in touch with your dancing friends. I find a ton of information through phone calls, Facebook/Twitter feeds, and messaging back and forth. If you don't have many friends that are involved in the professional dance world, you can follow dancers that you look up to on Twitter. Beyond that, I regularly check company websites. As I stated above, dancer rosters are typically updated between August and October. Most companies make announcements for their upcoming seasons between March and May. Many also have a press section on their website, where recent reviews and press releases are listed. I frequent the links section of Ballettalk. Each day, this site's administrators post links to reviews and stories in publications about companies large and small. Reviews and features are also posted in Pointe magazine, Dance Magazine, Dance International, Dance Spirit, and other respectable publications. If you know exactly what you are looking for, go to Google and type directly into the search box.

It is easy to fall out of touch with happenings in the dance world. If you don't put in the work to stay up-to-date, you may get behind and fall out of the loop. I always tell people that freelancing is a lot of work. Aside from dancing, teaching, marketing myself, and writing this blog, I put forth great effort in keeping up with current events. Although I am genuinely curious about what is happening out there, the time spent researching these items is work. I consider it a part of my job to put in a great deal of time doing this research. And to be completely honest, it really pays off.

Happy New Year - Retreat yourself

My friend, Kelly, and me on New Year's Eve

Another year has past and another one is upon us. The world didn't end on December 21st, we survived a northeastern hurricane, and the arts have a chance to prosper thanks to the re-election of president Obama. Each year we have new experiences that shape our being; physically, emotionally, spiritually, and career-wise. Often as the new year starts, we reflect on what happened in the year past and we resolve to work towards the things we would like to change or maintain. Most people have a mental conversation with themselves about their resolutions, but few write it down on paper. Some of the best advice I ever received was to write down my goals so that I can revisit and re-evaluate them. One of the best ways to evaluate your goals is to have a retreat for yourself. What better way to start the new year than setting new goals and restructuring old ones?

Not this kind of retreat

I had never heard the word retreat used for anything aside from a tropical vacation until I became the liason for Pacific Northwest Ballet's young patrons group, Backstage Pass. Once a year, everybody on the group's board, PNB's administrative liason, and myself would set aside an entire day to sit around a table, go through bylaws, and write a loose plan of events and goals for the group of 21-39 year old dance-loving patrons the club serves. Once I moved across the country and started freelancing, I started to feel scattered, like I had lost a sense of direction in my career. After a particularly stressful experience, my partner suggested I reassess my goals as a freelancer and take a self-retreat. Using the tools that I learned working with Backstage Pass, I set out to define my path.

The first step to having a successful retreat is to pick a location where you feel comfortable lounging around for a few hours and you wont have any distractions (like loud music or a place that your friends frequent). Get out of your house and stay away from your regular workplace. I typically enjoy taking a walk around a neighborhood that I haven't explored. I like to pick a new place because it starts off the retreat with a good sense of exploration.  I'll pick a street or two to walk down and find a place that looks calm with comfortable seating. I tend to favor cafes, as coffee shop culture allows one to sit around for hours while only buying one cup of coffee. They typically offer a hint of ambiance and you usually find yourself surrounded by others who are quietly studying, perhaps beckoning you to remain focused and work.

After you have found a comfortable place to begin your retreat, its time to put in the work. I usually come prepared with a list of topics so I have a set focus for the retreat. It is best to leave your computer at home, so you won't be distracted by Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit. I like the old school paper and pen method. Yesterday, on new years day, I had my own retreat. I ended up at a Starbucks in Old City because all of the cafes in the area were closed for the holiday. The list of topics I came up with prior to my retreat were an assessment of 2012, what mistakes I made this year, what I did well this year, what stresses me out, what makes me happy, what are my needs, what are my goals, and the top 10 actions I would like to take at the beginning of 2013. I take a page for each and I list whatever comes to my mind. Sometimes I write a statement and other times I write notes to myself. I always try to be completely open and honest. Nobody ever has to see what you write, unless you choose to share it with others. I often move from list to list, then go back and add things. I like to move around and balance out the negative experiences and thoughts with positive affirmations and potential actions.

Visiting my friend, Abby (former PNB dancer), in LA on my month off

To give you an idea of how I approach my retreat, I will give you a few examples of my responses. Under the topic, What mistakes did I make this year?, I had an injury nearly a year ago that caused a lot of drama and strife in my life and career. One mistake I made was that I did not have a back-up plan in the event that I became injured. To counter this mostly negative topic, I followed on the next page with the polar opposite question, What did I do well this year? One of the statements that I wrote here was that I recognized when I was approaching burn out. Instead of pushing on, I chose to take a month away from dance prior to Nutcracker season to rest, relax, and refocus.

One of my biggest problems since I began freelancing has been my stress and anxiety level. Not knowing when the next job is coming and making ends meet when there isn't much work is extremely stressful. I recognize that dealing with certain stresses will not only make me happier, but will benefit my work as well. For this reason, I made a list of things that stress me out. Having a written list of stressors helps me brainstorm ways to de-stress and avoid situations that could be potentially stressful in the future. When coming up with your list of topics, be sure to assess different experiences that you've encountered since your last retreat and come up with subjects that will benefit you and help you gain focus.

One thing many freelancers forget is that they are their own business. Successful businesses and corporations sit down for meetings and assess their budget, focus, and goals quite often. Just because a dancer is only an individual doesn't mean that they shouldn't take time out of their schedule to focus on their businesses needs and to inspire goals to attain. We always think about our dreams and aspirations. We often forget most of them, aside from our biggest and clearest goals. Taking time to devote to your business and yourself on a retreat can push your freelancing to the next level. And I always feel hopeful and inspired at the end of a retreat!

How to cope with the holidays away from home

My partner at Thanksgiving dinner in Seattle

It's 11 PM and I am sitting at Applebee's sipping a yuengling waiting for my riblet meal to arrive. I just finished dress rehearsal dancing the cavalier in Rochester City Ballet's Nutcracker and I'm starving! Rehearsal went really well and I hope that my partner and I only continue to grow from there. With such great elation after the run, I am feeling surprisingly manic at the moment. I just got a text from my partner (the life kind) and he is sitting at my mom's house amongst family on this Thanksgiving eve, while I sit by myself eating dinner only to return to my hotel room. As I roll across emotional extremes, I am learning how to cope with being away from loved ones during the holidays.

I was having a conversation with my sister via Facebook a few weeks ago right after arriving at my hotel in Rochester. She was asking me about my current gig and was awe-struck that I work the way I do, essentially a self-touring artist. My response to her awe was that my life is glorious and lonely all at the same time. I get to meet amazing artists and dance on great stages, but I also get lonely and homesick at times. Christmas-time is actually the busiest time for most freelance dancers. Since Nutcracker takes over stages, televisions, and the world during this season, there are more opportunities to work, as everybody wants to bank on this annual production. This means that the likelihood of spending Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all of the inbetween festivities with those close to you decreases greatly the more successful you are.

Seeking T-giving my first year in Seattle

When I got my first job with Houston Ballet as a teenager, I spent my first set of holidays away from close friends and family. Im pretty sure, after a failed turkey baking attempt, a handful of friends and I ended up at Bennigans. We claimed it was the best Thanksgiving ever, but I dont really remember it. I assume that we were just trying to be really positive about the whole fiasco. Within a year of leaving, I created my own family in Seattle (after moving to PNB) and started a relationship with my partner, which has been going strong for nearly 7 years. Aside from that year in Houston and the subsequent one in Seattle, I've always been with close friends or family on Thanksgiving. It makes my heart ache a little bit to write this, but this holiday will be my first without my partner since we got together. And although it makes me sad, I am hardly letting this holiday pass without being proactive about enjoying it.

If you find yourself away from friends and family for the holidays, there are ways that you can stay connected. We are so fortunate to live in a day and age where technology can bring us closer together, even when we are hundreds or thousands of miles apart. I have already set up a time tomorrow to Skype with my family. Even if I am not eating green bean casserole and stuffing at the table, I can be there visually and in spirit. A phone call is comforting, but getting to share some face-time can really help you feel thankful and make you a part of the festivities. I always feel more connected when I can see somebody's reaction in a conversation. In my opinion, people often feel badly during the holidays not because they aren't present, but instead because they feel left out.

Another way to avoid sinking into doldrums while you are, perhaps, alone in a hotel room is to get out. I notice that I feel much more lonely when I isolate myself. It is pretty logical, actually. You may feel slightly down or that you are going to take the holiday to rest up for your gig, but staying in a small room by yourself with a television and the shades drawn is only going to make you feel more removed. If you don't have anything to do or anybody to visit, perhaps, find an open restaurant and sit at the counter/bar. Usually people who are working on a holiday have to work and are missing this precious time with their family as well. It is much easier to strike up a warm conversation on a holiday than it is on most other days. If this form of socializing isn't for you, find a local cinema and enjoy a movie with the crowds that pack theatres on the holidays. You won't feel alone and you won't have to socialize with strangers. No matter what, I suggest that you just get out for a period of time.

Often, beyond family, people miss the traditions that go along with certain holidays. Every Thanksgiving, my partner and I wake up, turn on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, and bake sugar cookies. We mix all of the ingredients, roll the cookies out, use our 30-something cookie cutters, bake them, and decorate them once they are all golden and delicious looking (our secret is that we always underbake them so they remain super soft). I am currently in a hotel with a microwave and a small refrigerator, therefore making this tradition an impossibility. But, I did buy a couple of cookies and I am planning on catching some portion of the parade. So, although this tradition is not fully realized, I am at least holding a part of the tradition for this year and we can continue it in full the next time we spend the holiday together. If you have a tradition, find a way to keep the spirit of the tradition with you. Small things like this can really help to keep away any holiday sadness that might surface.

Lastly, what is a holiday like Thanksgiving without a huge feast? One thing that I have found is that it is almost impossible to spend a holiday by yourself while on a gig. It warms my heart to say that I have found that people will go out of their way to help make an out-of-town guest feel welcome and wanted on these special days. For instance, the network of people at Rochester City Ballet have been more than generous in offering me a place to spend during this day of thanks. I have received offers to join families for dinner from fellow dancers, administration, wardrobe, physical therapists, and beyond. In fact, I found  it difficult to turn down many of the offers. Most of the time, as a guest, people will welcome you with open arms. But if nothing formulates, don't fret. Just plan ahead. Do some research and find a place that is open for the holiday. Maybe you have been working really hard, pinching pennies, and eating in every night. This could be used as the perfect opportunity to really treat yourself for all of the hard work you've been putting in. Consider seeking out a restaurant that serves a few courses, perhaps with a pairing of drinks for each course. If you aren't comfortable eating on your own, bring your phone, a good book, a journal, or any other item that you enjoy using on your own. Make it a memorable experience and treat yourself.

All in all, the holidays can be a difficult time for anybody that is feeling lonely. Working away from home during this season can easily make you feel alone. As always, it is important to be proactive to make sure that you keep a healthy, happy, and fulfilled holiday season. Stay connected with family and friends, keep traditions as alive as you can, find yourself amongst people, and be merry (even if it is all by yourself). If you are able to stay happy while traveling during the holidays, you will find that this is truly the most fulfilling, lucrative, and wonderful time of the year.

Holiday season - Boston, MA