Who to Thank & How to Do It

There are many rituals and etiquette that exist in our beautiful dance world. Some of them are more universal across companies, like saying "merde" or "toi toi" to cast mates to wish them well before a show or making sure you don't step over a fellow dancer's legs to stave off bad luck. Other practices can be more specific to a company and their culture, like performing a pinky circle with the cast prior to curtain or giving a speech to performers right before the show starts. There are a variety of practices and superstitions that take place from production to production, including ways to say thank you. Considering the holiday season is upon us and Thanksgiving launches us straight into Nutcracker season, I thought I should share the people you want to thank and how to thank them appropriately.

Dance Partner:

R&J w/Fort Wayne Ballet (Photo: Jeffrey Crane)

If all goes well throughout the rehearsal process, you and your partner may become quite close. Whether things work out that way or not, it is appropriate to offer thanks to your partner in some way. Most commonly, dancers say thank you in the shape of a merde gift before the first show of the role you dance together. If you are doing 10 shows in a production, you can leave a card and a small gift to show your appreciation in your partner's dressing room spot. I've always enjoyed looking for gifts that make sense for the role we were dancing. For instance, when I danced Romeo in Romeo and Juliet, I gave my partner a rose, a card, and some Hershey kisses to represent the love we created onstage. If you interact with your partner a lot, definitely at least offer a card. If you have short fleeting moments onstage together, it isn't necessary to go out of your way to get them something. A simple spoken thank you at the end of the performance should suffice.

Coach:

If you are performing a role that requires great depth and are assigned a single coach to help pull out the best qualities in your performance, it may be appropriate to get a thank you for their investment in your career. Like I said above, if you are having a normal rehearsal interaction with a ballet master, then a simple thank you will do. But if this coach has gone out of their way to bring out the best performance you can give, be sure to write them a note and consider buying them flowers, candy, or something meaningful related to the role that you are performing.

Choreographer/Stager:

If a choreographer creates a new work on you or a stager comes in to set a ballet and does a stellar job of preparing the dancers, it is completely appropriate to purchase a gift to show your appreciation. Back when I danced at Pacific Northwest Ballet, we would designate somebody or a dancer would claim responsibility to come up with an appropriate gift for the occasion. Whether it was flowers or an inside joke between everyone in the cast, this one responsible dancer would determine the cost of the item/s to be bought and collect cash from each dancer who wants to contribute. Once the purchase was made, there would always be a card on hand for those that contributed to sign their name and, perhaps, write a short note.

Boss:

It is extremely rare for a dancer to go out of their way to express thanks to their boss outside of a verbal display of appreciation. Buying a gift for somebody that holds a lot of power can make it difficult to tell if it is truly to express thanks or is instead a way to seek favor and positive attention from the big guy or gal who is making decisions about your career. If you really want to let your boss know you appreciated getting a role or enjoyed an opportunity to try something new, schedule a meeting or wait for your evaluation.

Cast mates:

Sometimes, you and your cast mates really click in a work. And, sometimes, people go out of their way to do something kind for the whole cast. This is rare, can become expensive, and can take a lot of time to prepare during your precious downtime. The best and most common way that I have seen dancers do something to show appreciation for their fellow dancers is to go home and bake something tasty. Cookies, cake, or candy are the perfect way to say thank you to a large group of people, as they are relatively inexpensive, can be produced en masse, and are also a good pick me up during difficult show weeks.

My Cast at the National Choreographers Initiative (Photo: Dave Friedman)

Host:

If you are freelancing and find yourself living with a host, it is considered gracious to leave a little thank you on the counter when you head home (or offer in person if that floats your boat). If you are only staying with a host for a few days, a simple thank you card will do. But if you have spent a significant amount of time living in your host's home, it is appropriate to get something more for them. My favorite go-to is a bottle of wine or Prosecco if they drink alcohol. If they don't, something thoughtful with a card leaves a nice impression and can help build long lasting friendships. And, even better, if you are a freelance artist, you can write off up to $25 of the cost on your taxes, as this is a business expense.

Anybody That Went Out of Their Way for You:

It isn't necessary for you to thank each and every person that does something for you. Maybe your dresser was extra helpful or the conductor paid extra attention to your request to slow down the tempo for your solo. Since these people are just doing their job (and are stellar at it, too) a simple verbal thank you is more than enough to express your appreciation for those that have helped you perform at your best. Now, if somebody went way out of their way to assist you in getting on the stage, like if a physical therapist gave you extra attention in an emergency or somebody from wardrobe saved your life helping with quick changes, it could be a beautiful gesture to write them a short thank you in the form of a card. Here, it really is the thought that counts. And this is just good, basic relationship building skills at their best.

Yourself:

Don't forget that it is also really great to thank yourself. Give yourself a day off at the end of a production that doesn't involve going to a party, drinking alcohol, or anything else that could be too draining. Buy yourself that cupcake you wouldn't allow yourself to have because you had to wear a white unitard. Or, even better, treat yourself to a good deep-tissue sports massage or for a few dips at your favorite Russian baths. It is easy to think about being thankful to those around you. But you were just as much a part of creating magic onstage as everyone around you.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!

I will actually be releasing a podcast on Pas de Chát: Talking Dance tomorrow about Cultivating Thankfulness. So, if you are looking to find ways to be more thankful in your life, be sure to tune into that starting Friday! Happy Thanksgiving!

Contract Talk - Important Items to Have In Writing

My current contract with Company C Contemporary Ballet

I don't quite understand why, but most dance contracts that don't fall under the union umbrella are often pitifully executed when it comes to protections for dancers and, even, the employer themselves. Perhaps, low funding prevents companies from hiring lawyers to construct appropriate language. Or maybe there aren't enough people on staff to find the time to craft a proper contract. Whatever the reasoning may be, it is important to know what you really need to have written into an agreement as an independent contractor.

Sometimes, it can be an uphill battle getting a potential employer to put everything you need into writing. No matter what, it is important that you remain patient and get everything written in that you require. Without having all of your needs recorded, an organization is not bound to follow through with any requests beyond the provisions stated in the signed contract.

Most dancers haven't had much experience in contract negotiation and don't even realize what is important to them until they find themselves in a predicament. Since I have experience in both negotiating an AGMA contract and many of my own personal contracts, I would like to share specific items that I have found important to maintaining my comfort, a positive attitude, and protecting my body and pocketbook.


- Dancer fee:

You should always have your fee (salary) and the expectations of the roles you will be paid for written into a contract. If a company is performing a triple bill and a dancer is hired to perform in one piece, that needs to be written. If the dancer is being paid a flat-rate for whatever the needs of the company are, that needs to be in writing. I have seen multiple instances where a dancer is brought in to perform one role, then asked to learn another part. More often than not, the fee should be re-negotiated. If the employer says, "Don't worry...I will take care of you," your idea of being taken care of may differ from theirs. To avoid souring the relationship and maintaining respect, get the new rate in a new contract.

- Accommodations, Transportation, and Per Diem:

These items are an absolute necessity. Are you staying in a hotel or with a host family? If you are staying with a host, will you have your own room and bathroom? Are you being flown in? Will you be given a rental car to get around? Will you be responsible for gas? What about meal money? All of these items are pertinent to have in an agreement. Most of the time these things are taken care of without question. But if something goes wrong, you need to know that the company will find a reasonable fix. (Keep in mind that a dancer's culture and idea of appropriate may be different from the one they are being brought into.)

If you were supposed to stay with a host family and that falls through, a motel down the street from a strip joint isn't a reasonable replacement. I know a dancer that had to sleep on an air mattress in a common area of a house after the company lost their hotel sponsorship. Most companies forget that part of transporting an artist on-site is paying for their luggage. A dancer could bring only a carry-on if they didn't have to pack all of their dance clothes. It is the company's responsibility to pay for baggage (within reason). To ensure this is covered, put it in writing. If a dancer is housed far from the studios and given a rental car, should they have to pay for the gas to and from work? Again, know what you are getting yourself into.

- Rehearsal Schedules:

I have danced with many, many companies. And let me tell you, every company has a different idea of what constitutes a rehearsal week. Some companies only have one day off per week. Other companies change the schedule at the drop of a hat. At times, I have had 3 hours of rehearsal a day. While some organizations have had 8 hours of work daily. If you feel it is unreasonable to work 9 days in a row, make sure you have the work schedule written into the contract. Generally, I think that 2 days off a week (during rehearsal weeks) and 6 hours a day (not including warmup) is reasonable. Just make sure that a lunch break is afforded and that there is limited flexibility.

For some reason, directors tend to think that their stress and panic is more important than a dancer's ability to rest their hard-working bodies. I have experienced a panicked director adding an extra day of rehearsal or skipping lunch with little notice. If a schedule is put in the contract, the dancer has more control to say yes or no if asked to go beyond a reasonable work schedule.

- Non-dance expectations:

A few years ago, I was dancing at a Nutcracker gig in the middle of my season and performing an exhaustive 6 shows as Cavalier in one weekend. I was approached during the intermission of the first show by the director with a request. "We usually have the leads do a meet-and-greet after each show." I was already exhausted from performing the week before, traveled on my only day off, and performed in 2 dress rehearsals. The director was essentially asking me to add six more tasks to my workload. The next day I was, again, approached during intermission to come to a gala dinner event that same night. While it was their expectation of me to complete these job tasks, I wasn't made aware of these items.

Be sure to ask if there are any events, non-theatre performances, open rehearsals, etc. that will be expected of you. I always say that a dancer is much less likely to be a happy dancer if they are caught off guard with situations that they don't have any say in.

Also, if you are given a rental car, be sure that you you understand your responsibilities. I have been expected to transport other dancers during my time on-site.

- Footage and Photographs:

One of my favorite thing about being a freelance dancer is the access I have to performance footage and photographs. Few jobs that I have taken maintain copyrights on choreography and most have somebody taking photographs. During my 7 years at Pacific Northwest Ballet, I was rarely captured in any stunning photographs and had specific limitations to the footage I could access. In my nearly 3 years of freelancing, I have received an exponentially greater record of my dance career. To ensure that you receive copies of performances, get it in writing.

- Injury:

I struggle with getting this one into a contract. Being a dancer, I will knock-on-wood the moment the word is spoken. Nonetheless, it is important to have a backup plan in writing. While this is more important to the employer than the dancer, it can still benefit the dancer greatly. Different ideas are how a replacement will be found and how much a dancer will be compensated for the work already completed.

- Partner:

If you will be dancing with a partner, especially if you are male, it is important to know that you will be dancing with a partner that is a reasonable size for you (height and weight). A man that is 5' 8'' should not be expected to partner a woman that is 5' 9''. This is unlikely to be written directly into a contract (though it can be), but a conversation should definitely be had about this subject (in writing via email for your records).

While I love dancing w/Lindsi Dec (freshly minted PNB Principal), we're the same height

- Extras:

Additional items you may want to have written into a contract may include comp tickets, teaching company class or in the school, expectations of taking company warm up, company logo wear, gym memberships, yoga classes, physical therapy, and anything else that may be a reasonable request. 

Working alongside Nora Heiber, AGMA National Dance Executive, negotiating Pacific Northwest Ballet's contract

While most dancers hope that each of their gigs go off without a hitch, that is not always the case. More often than not, everybody leaves after a performance feeling pleased with the end result. But even in the best situations, small details can derail a very positive experience. Be sure to protect yourself, whether you are a dancer or an employer. The first job an employer has is to put a production onstage. In our world of art, where financial struggle is common, unfortunately, dancers are often the first to suffer when money gets tight. When putting on a production gets stressful, a director's first thoughts may not be about a dancer's needs and health. Lastly, while you may make a request that you would like to have in writing, it doesn't always show up in the final document. Be sure to read your contract completely to ensure that everything you discussed is in writing.

Is there anything that I missed that you feel is important to get in writing?

The 12 shows of Nutcracker

Downtown Ventura, CA

I returned home from my final Nutcracker gig in Los Angeles at about 7 AM Saturday morning. I spent nearly 6 weeks away from home, performed in countless shows, had a handful of great and horrible experiences, and flew on a final red eye flight that I was not too pleased about. Yesterday, I walked safely into my apartment, all in one piece. As I sat in the aisle seat of my plane next to a seatmate that couldn't find a comfortable sleep position for nearly 5 hours, I began to evaluate my Nutcracker-ing and determined a few things. Professional gigs trump school gigs. There's no place like home, or the home studio where a dancer was raised. I will never go back to West Virginia. Always get your housing situation written into a contract. If you aren't comfortable in your accommodations say something. Also, always require approval prior to having flights/accommodations booked. Lastly, be clear about your availability and requirements for shows. School's typically don't understand (or think of) that a dancer doesn't need two dress rehearsals, to be present at the theatre 2 hours prior to a performance, or access to healthy and affordable food options. To sum up my last 6 weeks, I wrote a short little list of my 12 shows of Nutcracker while trying to woo myself to sleep on that damn red eye flight. Enjoy and Happy New Year!!!!

12 - Shows of Nutcracker - 3 in each city (Rochester, NY; Huntington, WV; Immaculata, PA, Ventura, CA)

Flying into Los Angeles

11 -The average time that I woke up every morning for rehearsals or shows

10 - Different beds I slept in (3 friends, 2 hotels, 2 family members, 1 host family, 1 motel, my own)

9 - The earliest school performance I have ever had to perform in

8 - Flights around the country (if you count my flight out of WV that I boarded, but was cancelled on the tarmac due to a failed engine, this could have been #9)

7 - The number of times I was asked "How long is a dancer's career?"

Frightening WV McDonald's - 40 piece nuggets

6 - The amount of fast food receipts I accrued at airports and in West Virginia

5 - Different partners (this would have been 4 had #1 not happened)

4 - Different versions of the the grand pas de deux over 4 weekends (My brain almost exploded)

3 - Mishaps that were avoided by big smiles and great professionalism - On my opening with Rochester City Ballet, the orchestra fumbled the first 16 counts of the pas de deux. My partner and I gave the orchestra no choice, but to catch up to us. It sounded like they were going to stop and start over. I also had the back of my costume explode open at the beginning of the pas de deux, which couldn't be fixed until the end of my variation. Lastly, the stage in West Virginia was so slippery that I couldn't perform any of the dancing on releve or walk faster than a slow trod to avoid falling.

Cigarette burns on motel comforter

2 - Times that I had to reject accommodations after the agreed host families didn't follow through (also of note: using a motel is not an appropriate way to treat a guest artist, especially when there are reviews online speaking of prostitution and drug trade)

1 - Emergency performance of the Snow pas de deux where I learned the choreography an hour prior to the show (due to a performance that was moved because of snowy weather and a guest artist that had another show at the new performance time)

Bonus:  Carson Kressley from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and Dancing with the Stars came to a performance at Chester Valley Dance Academy's show. 

Me and Carson after the show

How to cope with the holidays away from home

My partner at Thanksgiving dinner in Seattle

It's 11 PM and I am sitting at Applebee's sipping a yuengling waiting for my riblet meal to arrive. I just finished dress rehearsal dancing the cavalier in Rochester City Ballet's Nutcracker and I'm starving! Rehearsal went really well and I hope that my partner and I only continue to grow from there. With such great elation after the run, I am feeling surprisingly manic at the moment. I just got a text from my partner (the life kind) and he is sitting at my mom's house amongst family on this Thanksgiving eve, while I sit by myself eating dinner only to return to my hotel room. As I roll across emotional extremes, I am learning how to cope with being away from loved ones during the holidays.

I was having a conversation with my sister via Facebook a few weeks ago right after arriving at my hotel in Rochester. She was asking me about my current gig and was awe-struck that I work the way I do, essentially a self-touring artist. My response to her awe was that my life is glorious and lonely all at the same time. I get to meet amazing artists and dance on great stages, but I also get lonely and homesick at times. Christmas-time is actually the busiest time for most freelance dancers. Since Nutcracker takes over stages, televisions, and the world during this season, there are more opportunities to work, as everybody wants to bank on this annual production. This means that the likelihood of spending Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all of the inbetween festivities with those close to you decreases greatly the more successful you are.

Seeking T-giving my first year in Seattle

When I got my first job with Houston Ballet as a teenager, I spent my first set of holidays away from close friends and family. Im pretty sure, after a failed turkey baking attempt, a handful of friends and I ended up at Bennigans. We claimed it was the best Thanksgiving ever, but I dont really remember it. I assume that we were just trying to be really positive about the whole fiasco. Within a year of leaving, I created my own family in Seattle (after moving to PNB) and started a relationship with my partner, which has been going strong for nearly 7 years. Aside from that year in Houston and the subsequent one in Seattle, I've always been with close friends or family on Thanksgiving. It makes my heart ache a little bit to write this, but this holiday will be my first without my partner since we got together. And although it makes me sad, I am hardly letting this holiday pass without being proactive about enjoying it.

If you find yourself away from friends and family for the holidays, there are ways that you can stay connected. We are so fortunate to live in a day and age where technology can bring us closer together, even when we are hundreds or thousands of miles apart. I have already set up a time tomorrow to Skype with my family. Even if I am not eating green bean casserole and stuffing at the table, I can be there visually and in spirit. A phone call is comforting, but getting to share some face-time can really help you feel thankful and make you a part of the festivities. I always feel more connected when I can see somebody's reaction in a conversation. In my opinion, people often feel badly during the holidays not because they aren't present, but instead because they feel left out.

Another way to avoid sinking into doldrums while you are, perhaps, alone in a hotel room is to get out. I notice that I feel much more lonely when I isolate myself. It is pretty logical, actually. You may feel slightly down or that you are going to take the holiday to rest up for your gig, but staying in a small room by yourself with a television and the shades drawn is only going to make you feel more removed. If you don't have anything to do or anybody to visit, perhaps, find an open restaurant and sit at the counter/bar. Usually people who are working on a holiday have to work and are missing this precious time with their family as well. It is much easier to strike up a warm conversation on a holiday than it is on most other days. If this form of socializing isn't for you, find a local cinema and enjoy a movie with the crowds that pack theatres on the holidays. You won't feel alone and you won't have to socialize with strangers. No matter what, I suggest that you just get out for a period of time.

Often, beyond family, people miss the traditions that go along with certain holidays. Every Thanksgiving, my partner and I wake up, turn on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, and bake sugar cookies. We mix all of the ingredients, roll the cookies out, use our 30-something cookie cutters, bake them, and decorate them once they are all golden and delicious looking (our secret is that we always underbake them so they remain super soft). I am currently in a hotel with a microwave and a small refrigerator, therefore making this tradition an impossibility. But, I did buy a couple of cookies and I am planning on catching some portion of the parade. So, although this tradition is not fully realized, I am at least holding a part of the tradition for this year and we can continue it in full the next time we spend the holiday together. If you have a tradition, find a way to keep the spirit of the tradition with you. Small things like this can really help to keep away any holiday sadness that might surface.

Lastly, what is a holiday like Thanksgiving without a huge feast? One thing that I have found is that it is almost impossible to spend a holiday by yourself while on a gig. It warms my heart to say that I have found that people will go out of their way to help make an out-of-town guest feel welcome and wanted on these special days. For instance, the network of people at Rochester City Ballet have been more than generous in offering me a place to spend during this day of thanks. I have received offers to join families for dinner from fellow dancers, administration, wardrobe, physical therapists, and beyond. In fact, I found  it difficult to turn down many of the offers. Most of the time, as a guest, people will welcome you with open arms. But if nothing formulates, don't fret. Just plan ahead. Do some research and find a place that is open for the holiday. Maybe you have been working really hard, pinching pennies, and eating in every night. This could be used as the perfect opportunity to really treat yourself for all of the hard work you've been putting in. Consider seeking out a restaurant that serves a few courses, perhaps with a pairing of drinks for each course. If you aren't comfortable eating on your own, bring your phone, a good book, a journal, or any other item that you enjoy using on your own. Make it a memorable experience and treat yourself.

All in all, the holidays can be a difficult time for anybody that is feeling lonely. Working away from home during this season can easily make you feel alone. As always, it is important to be proactive to make sure that you keep a healthy, happy, and fulfilled holiday season. Stay connected with family and friends, keep traditions as alive as you can, find yourself amongst people, and be merry (even if it is all by yourself). If you are able to stay happy while traveling during the holidays, you will find that this is truly the most fulfilling, lucrative, and wonderful time of the year.

Holiday season - Boston, MA