Video Break - My New Choreography Reel

I spend a lot of time working on so many projects that it can sometimes be hard to keep track of where I am going and what I am doing. Well, amongst the craziness of my first few weeks in my new job position, I have still somehow found a way to keep freelancing at the forefront of my attention. One of my favorite things is when I receive new footage of a piece that I have danced in or created. Well, I received footage of Distinct Perceptions, the piece that I choreographed for the National Choreographers Initiative a few weeks ago, and have finally managed to update my choreography reel to start sending out. I am really excited to start pushing my freelance choreography career as much as I have with my freelance dancing. Here is the new reel. I certainly hope you enjoy!

"It's a Freelance Life" video

I was perusing my Facebook feed last night when I noticed an acquaintance, who is a fellow freelancer, posted this fun video to his page. Sometimes, when you work as a freelancer, you feel very alone in your emotions and harshly judge your own lifestyle. For instance, I really associated with the lines in this video, "I hate myself for waking up at noon" and "weekday drinking life." This humorous parody of It's a Hard Knock Life from Annie is a great representation of how I feel a great deal of the time. And you know what, I always feel better when I don't feel like I am the only one in the world experiencing a challenge. So, with that, watch, enjoy, and laugh!

Does this video speak your truths as a freelancer?

Video Break - Performing "The Nutcracker" grand pas de deux

This past week I received my first offer to perform a guesting for the 2013 Nutcracker season. Even though it is only the beginning of May, many schools and companies are already beginning to prepare for this holiday delight. The Nutcracker is often future professionals introduction to ballet. And although most of us pros have a massive-love hate relationship with the ballet, we know that it inspires and pays the bills. Last year, I had the wonderful opportunity to perform in Ballet Nova's The Nutcracker in Arlington, Virginia with a very talented 16-year old student that came up through the school. Below you can see a majority of the grand pas de deux that we performed together with mere hours of rehearsal time together. Enjoy!

Breaking out of my niche

When a dancer spends a longer period of time with a company, they tend to get typecast. One dancer may be considered a Balanchine specialist, while other dancers may only get to perform classical roles. Very few dancers are offered the opportunity to expand their reach into every possible role and style that is in a company's repertoire. For this reason, I have found that very capable dancers start to believe that they are only valuable in the roles that their artistic director chooses to place them in. One of the best things about freelancing is that it can offer dancers the opportunity to grow in areas of their dancing that they may not be offered to explore in their current or previous company.

After dancing in a large neo-classical company for 7 years, I found that I started to view my dancing based on the niche that my artistic director had placed me in. My training was based deeply in the Vaganova method. This is what I was taught at home and at the Kirov Academy of Ballet, even though I spent my last year branching out of that style at the School of American Ballet. I also spent my teenage years as a competition kid, training in every style from ballet to jazz to tap. I had a very varied upbringing. The first few years in this large company, I wasnt offered many opportunities to dance outside of the corps. But once I finally started to dance leading and featured roles, I was often only cast to dance in contemporary pieces (which I LOVE to perform). As time passed by and these were the only pieces that I was cast in, I would sit down with my boss and request to learn a role like "Bluebird" or "Peasant Pas de Deux." Usually these requests were overlooked or I was given an answer like "your lines are just not classical enough for this role." I would often think to myself, "I have more classical training than a lot of dancers in this Balanchine company." Alas, I never really got to perform any leading roles when the classical ballets came around. By the time that I had left the company, I had sworn off dancing classical ballets and was convinced that if I were given a variation to perform, I would slaughter every ounce of the piece.

I feel that one of the downsides of dancing in a full-time company is that people start to believe what the person in power believes about each dancer. I remember when I first joined PNB, there was one newer dancer that was often overlooked and considered one of the weaker dancers in the company. I would watch this dancer in class and thought to myself, they are actually very talented. I didn't understand why they were viewed by others in this light. When the artistic leadership transitioned and our new director came in, he offered this dancer one leading role. Within months, this dancer was dancing leading roles often. Other dancers started to voice that this dancer was extremely talented and, before they suddenly left the company to pursue another passion, they were probably on the verge of being promoted to soloist.

I look at this example and I try to apply it to myself often. Although every dancer wishes that they could be in control of their feelings and their confidence, often your confidence is only based on one person, with one opinion, in one company. This is what happened with me. I believed I was a contemporary dancer that also excelled in Balanchine ballets, but was completely incapable in the classics. After I left the place that created this image, I wasn't willing to push myself outside of this identity.

Once I began to freelance, I found that I was being offered work to perform classical pas de deux as often as I was being offered work in the contemporary field. I was very reluctant to accept an offer to perform a classical pas de deux, even with students. I just didn't have the confidence, nor the want to re-explore the land of classical ballet. Finally, I was offered an opportunity to perform that I just couldn't refuse. Nonetheless, I showed up to rehearse for this gig reluctant and quite nervous that the director was going to be upset that I was not of a professional caliber as a classical dancer. Luckily, she was very kind to me and gave me the liberty to choose my own variation and to tweek the pas de deux to my needs. Now that I felt more comfortable with my environment, it was time for me to follow through with my job and perform as best as I could. You can see how it went below:

Getting the chance to dance a classical role after spending so many years being denied the opportunity was actually quite gratifying in the end. Performing a role like this as a guest artist with a school was a great platform to reestablish the fact that I CAN dance classical ballets. There was a little less pressure on me than there would be performing on the stage of an opera house. But I feel that dancers often put a similar amount of pressure on themselves to perform well in any setting. After having this experience and a few more performing classical dances, I am fully confident now that I am capable of performing these works. It is hard to break the emotional pattern of being placed in a niche, when everybody around you starts to believe that you belong there. Through freelance dancing opportunities, I am able to challenge specific boundaries that others have placed upon me and that I have placed upon myself.