Reacclimating to Home After Being Away

Excited to come home to Philly - Italian Market

On December 7th, I will return to Philadelphia after being away from home for 108 days, or about three and a half months. This has been the longest I have been away from home without at least passing through for a day or two in between gigs. The first time I spent more than a few weeks away from home, I was surprised to find that getting back into my normal patterns was much more difficult than I had expected. Spending any extended period of time in a different environment requires some adjusting to get back into the swing of things, even in the comfort of your own surroundings.

I've often found while preparing for a performance, my focus becomes very intense and I may become completely consumed by the process necessary to get ready for stage. When I worked at Pacific Northwest Ballet, this was built into the fabric of my every day life. I woke up in my own bed, worked at the same facility daily, and returned home to rest in my own apartment. When I had weekends off, I would rest, hang out with friends, and enjoy the surroundings of my city. Developing patterns over time and repetition are natural and make living your own chosen lifestyle comfortable.

Dance is my business (Photo: Brian Mengini)

While preparing for a show as a freelancer may be similar to my experience at PNB in some regards,
it can be quite different when you don't work where you reside. Essentially, a dancer is often forced to start from scratch with their lifestyle and friendships in each locale that they are hired. You generally can't call your close friends to hang out, go to that same yoga place that always helps you find your zen, find the exact same ingredients to that favorite meal you make every week, or drink at your favorite watering hole to let off some steam. Each freelancing gig can be an exciting, fresh adventure in a new city. But while you are building an alternative, short-term lifestyle elsewhere, everything still keeps running like usual back at home. Dealing with this reality can often be one of the biggest challenges for anybody that travels for extended periods of time with their work.

Back in 2012, when I first spent 5 weeks away from home with Alaska Dance Theatre, I was thrilled to return home to enjoy the familiar, see my partner and cats, and visit my friends and family. When I left home, tons of friends showed up to throw me a party to send me off on my adventure. Once in Anchorage, I became so immersed in my work that I didn't really think to shoot off a text message or make a phone call to check in with what was happening with most of those people. After my time away, I expected the exact same reception for my return upon my arrival. A few people had reached out to me on Facebook and stated how excited they were to see me. But the reality of my homecoming was more like walking onto an empty country field in the dead of night. Instead of stepping back into a scene of revelry, I came home to crickets. Most of those friends who sent me off were continuing on with their lives as they normally did. Nobody was holding their breath waiting for my plane to touch down.

Dan working from home

Beyond my local social network, another place that, surprisingly, had changed was in my home. While my partner and I had been together for over 7 years and talked on the phone nightly, he had started to develop patterns that didn't include me. Since he works from home, he had gotten used to working alone in our living space and enjoying the quiet and freedom that came with it. A simple midday question from me could lead to a stressful conversation about interrupting work-related activities. Where I used to be in a pattern of performing household chores, I had gotten more lax living in a home with a host family. I even expected extra attention. I felt like we had to make up for lost time. But things had continued on without me, even in my own home.

What I had originally thought would be an easy reintroduction, turned into a stressful period of examination and carefully executed re-entry. I spent my first week at home depressed and sitting around waiting for my phone to ring with invitations to reconnect. I quickly realized that any effort to see old friends was going to require me to be the one to reach out. One of my biggest challenges was that I had started freelancing almost immediately after moving to a new city. If I had been living in Philadelphia for a few years, it probably would have been easier to reconnect with friends. But I was still in the development period of most of my friendships in the city. I had to be very patient to connect again and found myself spending a lot of time exploring Philly on my own to occupy my time before my next travels.

Exploring Philly on my own

When it comes to reacclimating to living with somebody that you have a relationship with, I find the best route to take is to leave all expectation at the airplane door. Yes, you still have the same relationship that you used to have. But it is human nature to adapt to your surroundings quickly. For this reason, instead of stepping into your situation with expectations, I would suggest taking a step back and letting things find a refreshed order. Even though you missed each other, you don't have to feel that you have to fit five weeks of time into the first week after you've returned. Take your time, don't overwhelm one another, and allow for a little added space than you are used to. Where you may have spent every non-working moment together in the past, you have likely gotten used to spending a bit more time to yourself. See where each of you are and slowly start to get back into more common patterns.
 
Time away from your home environment allows for one to return with new and fresh excitement. But don't let expectation get in the way of a happy return. Reach out to friends while you travel and after you've come home, but don't put the pressure on yourself to have an exciting homecoming party waiting for you. Don't feel like you need to live your life exactly as you did before you left. And don't suffocate your loved ones with immediate expectations. While traveling for work and time apart can make the heart grow fonder, break mundane lifestyle patterns, and refresh your outlook on living, it can also add stress to what used to be regular patterns. If you approach your return with less expectation and more awareness, you can gain a great deal of life experience to enrich your lifestyle at home.

Me and Dan during 2 weeks inbetween gigs

Using Independent Contracting as a Trial for Full-Time Employment

Often, independent contractors work for organizations to fulfill work on their own terms. But it isn't uncommon, especially in the dance world, for these specialized self-employed workers to use independent contracting as a trial period with companies that they might consider joining as a full-time employee. Many people work for themselves because they chose to do so a long time ago. While other people who work in this way are only doing it to make ends meet or because they have had a work experience that turned them off from full-time commitments. Using independent contracting as a tool to test the waters can be a very effective way of auditioning a company to see if their work environment is a good fit for oneself.

My view on the way home from Homer, AK

I have been keeping a secret from my readers for a few months. While I haven't been freelancing or working as an independent contractor, I took a job that mimicked the lifestyle/workstyle that I have been living for the past few years. Back in August, I accepted an offer to work as Interim Artistic Director for Alaska Dance Theatre. I moved to Anchorage on a 4-month trial contract towards the end of the subarctic Summer and began working to lead this important arts organization. I never applied for the job and was quite honored when they called me up during my time at the National Choreographers Initiative back in July. It has always been a dream of mine to lead a dance organization and the potential for this to happen at the ripe age of 30 was extremely enticing. While I found this exciting, I also needed to keep a level head about the situation.

As many of you probably remember, back in 2012, one of my very first posts was about freelancing with Alaska Dance Theatre. Dancing with this newly formed company was my first foray into traveling as a freelancer. I had danced in one or two gigs prior to this, but they were always in familiar places that were close to home. This was the first time that I had been offered work in a place that was foreign to me and, to be honest, I was scared shitless. It was the first time that I would reside in a smaller city. It was also winter; which meant it was going to be cold, snowy, and dark. Lastly, everybody talked about it being an extremely conservative state where Sarah Palin reigned supreme. I was pretty sure that I was going to be gay bashed or lynched by some pioneer with a huge beard and a passion for hunting.

A few weeks before I flew to Alaska for the first time, I had a nightmare where I was driving to the rehearsal studios on a snow machine. In my dream they were located up a tall, steep, and snowy mountain. In blizzard-like conditions, we got about halfway up the mountain when it became too steep to continue on the snow machine. We had to get up and ascend the mountain by foot. Before I ever found out if we successfully reached the studios or succumbed to the frightening weather, I awoke from my dream. I was clearly dealing with some internal stress about spending five weeks in the "Last Frontier."

I dreamt the Alaska Dance Theatre studios would be here (they're not)

When I finally made it to Anchorage, I was pleasantly surprised to find that most of my nightmares were only that. Yes, it was cold and snowy. But it wasn't as cold as people would think and the snow was quite beautiful. Yes, it was dark. But every day it got lighter by 5-10 minutes. Yes, it was a small city. But it had more culture and acceptance than I ever expected. Everybody hates Sarah Palin and the people are way more community-oriented than most other cities in the United States. I had a great experience in Alaska and gained a lot of respect for the place. So much so, that I returned a year later to dance with the company for three months.

While my first experience in Alaska was quite a nice surprise, my second time around was a bit different. Most of the positive light from my previous time in the state was still there, but the organization was displaying symptoms of financial instability, cultural challenges, and green leadership. By the time the three months were complete, I was ready to get back to Philadelphia. Nonetheless, I still left with a strong affinity for a place that probably would've never been on my radar had I not been working there as an independent contractor.

This past July, I received the call from Anchorage during an ideal moment in my life for this job opportunity to become a possibility. I was recovering from an injury and was working in a role that required more leadership as a choreographer for NCI. If a perfect storm of events hadn't aligned, I would've likely moved back to Philadelphia and continued working in the same capacity as I have been for the past few years.

While I knew the organization was trying to find its path when I left, I wasn't quite sure where the organization was today. In negotiations for my contract, it was mentioned that I could take the role as Interim Artistic Director to see if I would be a good fit for the organization. While I was hired as an employee, this setup mimicked the same work agreement of an independent contractor. Instead of being locked into a situation for an extended period of time, I was given a trial period to see if the organization was a good fit for me and me a good fit for them.

Me with the pre-professional company of Alaska Dance Theatre

I have had a mixed bag of an experience trying to lead an organization that is still trying to find its' distinct path towards excellence. And while I have loved my time working with the students of Alaska Dance Theatre and educating the community, it became clear that the puzzle pieces for me to continue with the organization weren't fitting together properly to keep me on board for a long-term contract. Had I taken the original offer for a year of work, I may have been left in a situation that wouldn't have been conducive for the growth that the organization is seeking. So, at the end of my term in December, I will move back to Philadelphia and begin to build a plan for the next stage of my career.

While my current experience isn't technically that of a freelancing independent contractor, it is functioning in the same capacity. Most of my freelancing work has given me the opportunity to work with companies that could eventually become my full-time job and home. I have had a handful of enticing offers that just didn't work out logistically, financially, and living between two cities with my partner. But while working with companies as a freelancer, I have always had this thought in the back of my mind that each and every experience could be the one that pulls me out of this nomadic lifestyle.

Looking forward to what's next!

Doing your taxes as an independent contractor

Elizel Long & me rehearsing Amy Seiwert's Monuments (Photo: Gutierrez Photography)

I was having a conversation last night over food and drink about freelancing with a dancer who has essentially been my main partner since I began this season with Alaska Dance Theatre. As Elizel Long (pictured above) and I were eating dinner, a live band sang "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash, which we performed a duet to in ADT's last program. After a few memories and laughs, we got back down to business and continued to discuss what it was like to work as a freelancer in the US. Elizel only moved to the US a year ago. Since she was born in South Africa and spent much of her still young career with the Rambert Dance Company in London, she must quickly figure out the contemporary dance scene in the US to find work and keep her career moving forward. As we approached the end of our meal, I mentioned that she should save her receipt. Her eyes flashed back at me with an inquisitive look. I explained to her that a lot of our conversation was spent explaining how to go about freelancing, who to contact, and how her new website I helped set her up with can be used to promote herself. Now that she is gearing up to work as a freelance dancer, this dinner was clearly a business dinner and can be written off for tax purposes.

There have been many lessons I have had to learn over the past year as a freelancer. One of the bigger items on that list would be saving, documenting, and preparing for my taxes. Freelancers most frequently work as independent contractors. Essentially, I think of myself as my own business. Being an independent contractor means you are not hired by a company as an employee. They are not responsible for you even though they are handing you a paycheck. Essentially, it would be the equivalent to hiring a professional to remodel your kitchen. You pay them directly for their services, but you are not responsible for their health insurance, worker's compensation, unemployment, and you don't have to take taxes out of their pay.

How do you know if you are an independent contractor? First, take a look at your contract (which you should always read extensively prior to signing). There should be a clause in the agreement that clearly states, "Contractor is not an employee," or something along the lines of,"Barry Kerollis is not an employee of (organization)." A requirement of companies who hire independent contractors is that they provide a "1099" tax form prior to the first pay period, which only needs to be reported (and paid taxes towards) if you make more than $600. This form tells the government that you are not an employee and that taxes will not be taken out of your paycheck. In other words, it will be your responsibility to save a portion of your salary and pay these taxes yourself.

One important piece of information that I had not been aware of was that an independent contractor is expected to pay estimated quarterly taxes every 3 months. The IRS expects you to estimate how much you will work based off of the previous year and pay that amount in taxes by the 15th every third month. For me, I had only worked in freelancing for a short period of time prior to the 2012 tax year. I had no idea what I should pay. Much of my work pops up last minute, so I don't have a good gauge of what my take-home pay is going to be more than a few weeks to months in advance.  If you don't pay enough into your quarterly taxes prior to January 15th of the following year, you can be penalized a certain percentage on top of what you owe when you pay your yearly taxes in April. In the end, you won't know if you hit the mark until you file your taxes.

More information that I have only recently learned is that outside of your federal (national) taxes, you have to pay taxes in each state where you worked and earned more than $600. For instance, I live in Philadelphia, PA and outside of my home-state taxes, I worked as an independent contractor in Rhode Island, Delaware, New York, Virginia, and South Carolina. This means that I must file taxes in each of these states. That adds up to about $30-$60 per state just to file, not including the actual taxes that I owe. It is also important to note that the government enforces a self-employment tax for independent contractors. The purpose of this tax is to take care of social security and medicare that would typically be taken out of your paycheck by an employer. If you signed a W-2 form when you were hired, you are considered an employee of that company. Even if you have a short term contract, often deemed seasonal, you can be considered an employee. In this instance, taxes will be taken out of your paycheck and you don't have to worry about the self-employment tax. Be sure that you are aware which status your employer has hired you as.

Since you are likely hired as an independent contractor, and not an employee, as a freelancer, it is more important than ever to keep very detailed and deliberate track of all of your spending. To offset the costs of filing in different states and the self-employment tax, it will be necessary for you to save all of your receipts and to keep track of all of your spending. I like to use two Excel spreadsheets that I have created. One is set up to document the employers I work for, the dates that they pay me, how much they pay me, and whether taxes have been taken out or not. The other one includes detailed information about deductions, which I can back up with receipts that I have saved and filed.

There are a handful of items that you can write off as business expenses. Always keep an eye out for items/services that can be used to offset how much you owe, but be sure to make sure that they are for legitimate expenses. I write off any costs that I incur for taking class or working out to stay in tip-top shape. These expenses include open dance classes, yoga, gym memberships, pilates, and any other equipment I purchase to stay in shape for my work as a freelancer. Another cost that is important to document is physical maintenance. Physical maintenance is any service or item purchased to keep your body in top performing order. You can write-off medical and chiropractic care, massage, acupuncture, epsom salts, muscle care (arnica gel, tiger balm, icy hot, etc), or anything else, within reason, pertaining to the care of your instrument. You can deduct the cost of apparel for your work as well. If you purchase tights, leotards, warm-ups, dance shoes, or sneakers to cross-train in, be sure to keep track of these expenses. I also keep track of my spending when it comes to dance enrichment. Keeping up-to-date, researching companies for possible future work, and inspiring choreography are all a part of my business. If I see a performance or purchase a dance publication, I consider these important parts of cultivating my business and finding work. If you teach or choreograph, you can write off any music that you purchase and use in class or performance. If you attend auditions, travel and meals can be included on your expense list. Also be sure to keep track of your travel, parking, and gas expenses while freelancing. I often have to pay for my own parking if a car is provided for me during performance weeks, as city parking is almost never free. If you purchase thank you or merde gifts, you can only write-off each purchase up to $25. One of the clearest write-offs would include direct business expenses. For instance, I can write off my personal website, business cards, and other related expenses. If you are working from your home or conducting business on your cell phone/email accounts, you can write off a portion of your rent, phone, and internet bills. I also keep track of any major losses. For instance, I was hired by a competition to teach at their convention. Thirty six hours prior to the convention, they emailed me without apology and told me that they lost their space for my workshop and wouldn't need my service. Since I had already booked this time, and given the short notice, there was no way that I could make up the lost income that this company caused. Lastly, as I stated at the beginning of this post, dinners where work is discussed with the intention of action taking place can be written-off. I always write directly on the receipt what was discussed for my records. You can't just sit at dinner and gossip about happenings at work for it to be considered a business dinner. In last night's case, I helped Elizel obtain a website and gave her direct contacts to research, emails, and advice to look for work. There was a clear and concise passing of information. Make sure that you keep clear records of the location that each of these expenses took place. You will need to write off these expenses in the state that they occurred.

Mom, myself, and her friend in the lobby of the Joyce Theater in NYC after I performed there in 2010

I have been lucky that my lovely mother has done my taxes for me every year aside from this current one. After doing my taxes since I was 18 and having done them last year with returns in 4 states, she realized that the extent of my return this year would be too overwhelming. I was strongly considering doing my own taxes this year, but the prospect of working as an employee with 2 companies and freelancing/teaching with at least 10 others was daunting. I am lucky enough that a member of my extended family is an accountant and willing to help me out. Otherwise, I would probably spend days working with TurboTax to figure out whether I owe money or will be receiving that giant return that we all dream of. I know that the deadline to finish our taxes is near, but I hope this posting helps to clear up any confusion you may have while filing. And if it is too late, it is always helpful to have a better understanding of how the tax system works and how to minimize the amount of money you have to pay in taxes through deductions of your business expenses.

Video Break - Performing as Cassio in "Othello" w/Alaska Dance Theatre

As you all know, I am currently in Anchorage dancing with Alaska Dance Theatre for three months. I am about halfway through my time here. We are currently working on our second program of performances, which includes rep created by the Artistic Director, Gillmer Duran, and a new piece by San Francisco-based choreographer, Amy Seiwert. Everybody has been asking me what it is like to dance in Alaska and what the dance scene is like here at Alaska Dance Theatre. Well, here is a treat for all of those who have been wondering. Here is a clip of me performing alongside Artur Sultanov (former Principal dancer with Oregon Ballet Theatre) in last season's production of Gillmer Duran's Othello. In this scene, I am performing as Cassio, who has just been stripped of his recent promotion to chief lieutenant in the Venetian army that Othello honored him with due to a drunken brawl that Iago had slyly concocted. As Cassio finds himself at a low point, Iago steps in and convinces him to speak to Desdemona, Othello's wife, to ask for her assistance in getting his promotion back. Little does Cassio know that Iago is really planning to incite jealousy in Othello by persuading him that Cassio and Desdemona are having intimate relations. Enjoy!

Take advantage of opportunities

Performing Mercutio w/ James Moore in Maillot's Romeo et Juliette (Photo: Angela Sterling)

There are people that sit on the sidelines because they have been put there and there are people that purposely place themselves there. The main reason I started freelancing was because I felt that I had spent enough time sitting on the benches at Pacific Northwest Ballet. Yes, I had some great opportunities dancing roles like Puck in Balanchine's A Midsummer's Night's Dream and Mercutio in Maillot's Romeo et Juliette. But out of the 7 programs (including Nutcracker) the company danced each season, I often spent about half of them dancing in the corps while other less experienced dancers were given the opportunity to prove themselves in roles that I had already proven I could handle. Personal story aside, I decided that I was tired of sitting on the sidelines. I have never been the type of person to sit back and watch opportunities pass and that is why I feel that freelancing is a great path for me.

I've been so busy dancing, teaching, taking an extended workshop in Safety Release technique, and having an active Alaskan social life that I can barely find any time for my regular life activities. One reason I've taken a short hiatus from posting on here is because I have been taking advantage of an array of opportunities that freelancing in Alaska has brought me. Yes, at times, I feel way too busy. But it is more important for me to build relationships, find new ways to develop my trade, and to see the world. For this reason, I haven't had a moment to sit on the couch and catch my breath.

Alaska Dance Theatre studios

I have found that freelancing gigs typically offer me more than just an opportunity to dance and make a living. Having already established a relationship with Alaska Dance Theatre while dancing with the company during their last season and following the impression that my blog has made on the leadership of the school, I was approached with the prospect of creating a workshop that focuses on career building for dancers for the students of the Alaska Dance Theatre School. Aside from feeling flattered, I was actually quite reluctant to follow through with this daunting task. Dancing 9:30 AM to 4 PM with the company and teaching four to six classes in the school each week were already eating up a majority of my time. I could have easily told the school that my schedule was too full and that I didn't have time to develop four hours worth of material to share with aspiring students. But an opportunity to develop my career in a new direction was presented and I knew that I had to take advantage of it. For the two weeks leading up to the workshop, I devoted many evenings and the whole of my weekends to put together this lecture. Not only did the students respond incredibly well to my workshop, but the push given to create it has given me an invaluable tool that I can bring elsewhere. Now that the groundwork for this workshop has been created, I can offer it to students around the country. I get to share my passion, I get to pass the flag, and I get to add another pathway to enhance my income. If I had chosen to sit in my hotel room and rest watching television, who knows when this opportunity would have presented itself again?

Another thing that shouldn't be taken for granted are social events. Often, after finishing a hard week of work, groups of dancers will get together for dinner and drinks. At other times, a donor may throw an event at their house. No matter the situation, one should do their best to attend a reasonable number of these get-togethers and events. Sometimes exhaustion gets the best of you or you don't have money to burn.  Keeping these things in mind, I have found that a majority of the dancers who don't attend these event just weren't in the mood to be social. This happens to me at times, but I do my best to fight the urge to hang back at my host family's house and sit on my computer. Having an active social life offers a handful of benefits. I find that I am always happier and less homesick when I am surrounded by other people. Many times, I have heard dancers mention that they don't want to hang out with other dancers for reasons ranging from needing work/personal-life separation to discussions that are always centered around work. What one must remember, though, is that the connections made with others in their field can benefit your career more than any other relationships you create while away from home. Lastly, if you take a chance to get to know the support system and community that created the arts organization you are working for, you can make invaluable friendships, connections, and support centers down the road.

Driving down the Seward Highway in Alaska

One thing that boggles my mind is when freelancers are given a chance to travel somewhere they have never been and they sit in their hotel room/host family's house for the entirety of the time that they are not at work. When I tell people that I travel the world dancing for a living, they always respond with envy. They say how they wish their work would take them to the places I have been brought. If you are going to be paid to travel, you might as well get as much out of that opportunity as you can. One example of this would be this past weekend. My partner is visiting me for nearly a month of my three months in Alaska. We decided to take a trip down the beautiful Seward highway (which has often been called the most beautiful drive in the world) to the town of Seward, where the highway originates. We had a two-day weekend and we had just finished an exhausting run of a show, so most people probably preferred to sleep late and hang low while resting their bodies. For me, this was something that just had to be done. We invited all of the dancers to join us, but ended up taking the 2 1/2 hour drive alone. It was definitely an opportunity missed, as it may be one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. When I danced with Festival Ballet Providence, I took advantage of the city's close proximity to Boston nearly every weekend that I was there. While with Rochester City Ballet, I visited Buffalo, Niagara Falls, and Toronto. I have gone out of my way to visit cities, sights, and other great landmarks in every place that I have freelanced. Freelancing careers are sometimes short-lived. One might as well take advantage of visiting a new place, especially if your work is footing the bill of bringing you there. Who knows when you will have that opportunity ever again.

Panoramic of Seward, Alaska

Dancing is an exhausting career, both physically and mentally. Many dancers take their time off to rest and recover. Leaving time for recovery is very important, but it is not uncommon for dancers to get stuck in a pattern where they think that they always need to be in recovery mode. These dancers miss out on a great many opportunities because they turn down chances to push themselves as artists, make new connections, and to see the world. Be smart with your time off, but also push yourself to take advantage of as many opportunities that present themselves to you.

At the start of the Iditarod in Willow, AK

LOFD exceeds 10,000 views

Flying through the Italian Market in Philadelphia (Photo: Jordan Matter)

Thank you for your patience in waiting for new blog posts over the past few weeks. I have been busy working alongside my fellow company members at Alaska Dance Theatre to put on the program that we are opening tonight at the Alaska Center for the Performing Arts, Cash & Cline, as well as teaching in the school and putting together a workshop on career development. Im hoping to have a new post up by Monday, but in the meantime I'd like to announce that Life of a Freelance Dancer has officially surpassed 10,000 views. I'd like to send out a massive THANK YOU to all who have read, commented, and shared with your friends! I never imagined this blog would reach this many viewers in a short 10 months of existence. Keep reading, keep dancing, and keep freelancing! I look forward to the next 10,000!

Do's and Dont's of freelancing

Introducting myself at Alaska Dance Theatre's 2013 gala event

 I apologize for the longest delay in posting since the inception of Life of a Freelance Dancer! Aside from preparing for Alaska Dance Theatre's Cash & Cline program, I have been teaching about 8 hours a week in their school, and preparing a 2-part, 4-hour lecture series on Career Development for the students of ADT. I am assuming that my audience would be forgiving as I prepared to pass on my knowledge of dance on to potential company, college, and freelance dancers. With that said, I'm glad to be back focusing on my blog. To kick things back off, I have created a list post of the Do's and Dont's of freelancing. Enjoy!

DO be open to trying new things (locations, styles of dance, non-dance activities, etc).

DON'T keep quiet about the big things that make you comfortable or uncomfortable. For the most part, everybody wants to work in a comfortable environment. Most employers work very hard to make a freelancer feel at home and a part of the company.

Driving along Cook Inlet towards Girdwood, AK (Photo: Beth Maslinoff)

DO take advantage of the places that freelancing takes you. I have seen many artists travel and only stay in their hotel room, only travel from their host family's house to work and back, and spend their weekends staying local. Who knows the next time you will be in the town that work has brought you. Take advantage and see what the place has to offer!

DON'T show up to a gig completely out of shape!

DO remember to pace yourself. If you show up to a gig too exhausted from previous work, overzealous, or over-prepared, you may burn out or become injured. If you come into a new rehearsal setting and constantly dance at 150%, you may injure yourself. Remember that you are in a new atmosphere with different floors, walls, and mirrors. There are new dancers, new styles, new approaches to dancing. If you become injured, not only are you jeopardizing your potential to work there again, you are also putting the company in a difficult place.

DON'T lie about your current physical state. If you have an injury, be up front and honest about it. If you are recovering from an injury, you don't necessarily have to tell them you had that injury, but if it flares up be sure to say something. Any good and moral employer understands that injuries do happen in the dance world and are usually more than willing to work with you and help you out.

DO find ways to develop yourself beyond dancing. I was lucky enough to get my Associate of the Arts degree from Seattle Central Community College while dancing with PNB. Also, as I stated above, I gave one part of a 2-part lecture series on Career Development for dance students this past weekend. Being given this opportunity by the wonderful staff of Alaska Dance Theatre to develop this workshop gives me a tool to make added income throughout the year. I can offer this workshop to students across the country.

DON'T try to dance for 52 weeks every year. Your body needs a rest. I believe that no person should dance more than 2-3 months without a week or two off. I believe this is one reason my career has successfully lasted 10 years to this point.

DO be gracious towards your employers. They chose to hire you over many other dancers. Whether it be an honest verbal thank you, a short note, or a follow-up email, let your employer know that you are appreciative and what you will take away/remember from your time working with the company.

Dan, Joerg, and myself - Hanging out w/a great friend I met at PNB events

DON'T be anti-social. If you are dancing with a company, try to get to know the dancers around you. If you are invited to an event, don't sit in the corner sipping on a glass of wine. Freelancers are often exciting and intriguing people, especially to patrons and potential donors. Make dance connections and make non-dance connections. It will benefit you emotionally and could even lead to friendship/support/sponsorship down the line.

DO reevaluate whether freelancing is right for you often. Freelancing is too hard to just go through the motions. You are constantly adjusting to new environments, leaving home, and putting yourself on the line. It is easy to lose sight of your goals and get into a bad routine. If you are no longer enjoying the spontaneity that is a requirement of the job, it may be time to reevaluate your goals.

DON'T change everything about your dancing to conform to a new company. Fit in and don't be disrespectful, but stay true to yourself. You got hired because there was something interesting about your dancing that drew the director to hire you

DO ask a company to help you with things you will need once you arrive. I require wireless internet when I travel. I will be miserable without it at my residence. I also need transportation if Im not staying in a highly urban area. If there is no gym at the studios, I ask if they can get me a gym membership nearby (or at least a discount). Ever since I worked as an AGMA delegate with PNB, I have been a major advocate of asking directly for the things you need (emotionally and physically).

DON'T drink too much at events, while staying with a host family, or on a work day. While freelancing, you only have a short period of time to make a lasting impression. From a few days to a few weeks, the people you work with will only remember you for what you did during that short period of time.

DO smile and laugh. This may seem super shallow, but employers are drawn to dancers that are happy. The more you smile and laugh, the more likely an employer will enjoy your presence. Try to do this genuinely.

DON'T take work without a clearly defined contract. If you start working without a contract, you are not protected from anything that happens. If you are not paid or paid a different amount than you agreed to, you have no proof that you were ever supposed to receive that payment. If your duties on a gig change (e.g you are given an added role to replace an injured dancer), make sure you are compensated for the added duties. Don't rely on the word of an employer as an agreement for additional pay.

DO take class regularly. Your body and technique are your product. Since you are only seen during your time at a gig, you are only as good as you currently are. If you let your technique slide for a moment, your employer doesn't know that you are a better dancer than you appear.

DON'T lose contact with your loved ones, family, and friends back at your home base. When you are finished your gig, you still have relationships waiting for you when you return home. If you don't maintain them while you are away, they may not be there when you get back.

DO have a voice. Most employers want to take advantage of your outside knowledge. You can help them as much as they can help you. Just be aware of the right times to speak up and the wrong time. Being a freelancer, you have more say in the work you do than a company dancer.

DON'T cross certain boundaries with students/underage dancers. There are obvious reasons for this. It is in your best interest to remain friendly but keep your distance. When you are freelancing with a school, perhaps dancing with a top student, you do have to develop a comfortable camaraderie with your partner. This is where it should end. I am always sending messages to students at schools on Facebook stating, "It was so nice to meet you during the Nutcracker. Thank you for requesting my friendship, but unfortunately I do not accept friend requests from anybody under the age of 18. If you would like any dance advice, feel free to email me at my email address. Good luck!"

DO find ways to keep pushing yourself as a dancer. At times, freelancing means that you are doing something that you have done before or with a school that only has students in their production. I sometimes feel like I am only hired to bring the level of an organization up, especially when dancing in a school production. Afterwards, I often feel hungry for an opportunity to perform work that is bringing my dancing to a new level through challenging work or dancing alongside high-level professionals that inspire me. I am always trying to find new ways to challenge myself, even when I'm dancing with a student in the 5th show of a production that is easier than work I've done in the past.

Freelancing while in a relationship

Danya and me at Pacific Northwest Ballet's opening night gala dinner in 2006

I have danced nine shows in one week. There have been stages harder than the floor of a warehouse. I've danced multiple pieces of choreography to the same piece of music every week for 4 weeks. All of these, among others, have been great challenges for me since I began freelancing. There are many difficult obstacles in one's freelancing career, but I still find one of the biggest challenges as a traveling freelance dancer in leaving my life partner for an extended period of time. It is just one of those things that doesn't get easier the more you do it.

One of the reasons I left PNB was because I felt the company didnt get to travel enough. Working 40 weeks a year in a distant city like Seattle, I felt like my feet were glued to the ground. As a hopeful student, I heard fabulous stories of dancers going on tour, seeing the world, and getting paid to do it. I worked hard to get into a big company that had a great history of touring. Being offered a job at PNB, a place that had a reputation for international touring, I fully expected to be visiting London, Hong Kong, and many other places. But after joining the company, touring barely happened more than a few times. While with the company, I traveled three times to the Vail International Dance Festival and once to the Joyce Theater in New York City. When I left the Pacific northwest, I figured that I might travel a little more since I was only tied down to a 22 week contract in Philadelphia. In typical fashion, when I ask the universe for something, I get exactly what I ask for, but in some completely ass-backwards way. I am not complaining, but freelancing full-time was not my expectation.

My first time visiting L.A. at the Getty Museum - January 2006

My partner and I met in Seattle back in 2005. He was visiting from his hometown of Los Angeles working on a political action committee. We were instantly enthralled with each other, but both of us refused to commit because neither of us wanted to do the long distance thing. After returning to L.A., we remained in close touch. He had a trip to Egypt and London scheduled (which he had already paid for) and asked me if he went on that trip if there might be a chance that I would meet someone else. I tend to be brutally honest and responded with a bold "yes." Well, long story short, he changed the dates of that trip (which he never actually got to go on) and booked 10 days to visit me in Seattle. At the end of that foray, he returned to L.A. a few steps closer to hooking me. Finally on January 28, 2006, 7 years ago, I agreed to commit to him if he would agree to move to Seattle within a year. Nine months later, as I often refer to him, Danya moved to the Emerald City and we started our life together.

Living in Seattle brought us many challenges that actually made our relationship stronger in the long run. From stifled careers to passive-aggressive friendships to a tragic accident that left Danya incapable of walking for 3 months, we survived together and our bond grew stronger. One thing that we never had to deal with was spending time apart. By the time that we moved to Philly in 2011, I believe the longest we had been apart from each other since Danya's move to Seattle was 10 days when I traveled to Israel on a Birthright trip. Moving to Philadelphia was a choice we made together. While we were happy to leave Seattle behind, I don't think we quite expected things to be the way they are today.

I remember back in April when I traveled to Providence on my first gig as a full-time freelancer, I wrote a status update on Facebook about missing my partner. He gave a supportive response and thrown in there was something along the lines of, "we are in a part-time long distance relationship." My heart sank into the pit of my stomach and I thought to myself, "how did I get here?" Once I came to terms with the fact that my current career track meant that we would be spending a lot of time apart, I started figuring out ways to help make myself feel close to Danya, even when I am halfway across the world searching for the Aurora Borealis.

My nightstand in Alaska

There are a handful of ways that one can make themselves feel closer to a loved one when they are too far to hold close. I am always sure to bring a photograph of my partner and myself together to put right next to my alarm clock. If I put it next to my alarm clock, it is usually the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing that I see before I go to sleep. I also bring an item that my partner gave me as a gift. For instance, I love to cuddle myself to sleep. When I crawl into bed and he isn't there, it is too easy to start feeling lonely. As ridiculous or childish as it may sound, Danya gave me the gift of a stuffed sock monkey awhile back. Whenever I spend more than a week away from home, I bring the stuffed animal along with me to cuddle with before I go to sleep. I've never been one to sleep with a stuffed animal and I don't keep one in my bed at home, but when I travel this sentimental item helps calm and relax me before I go to sleep. It isn't a replacement, but it is comforting to know that his spirit is there.

Another photo I bring wherever I travel

One issue I have is that I am a constant worrier and get really anxious about the possibility of things that could happen, even if that possibility is unlikely. My friends think its a part of my Jewish blood, but genetics or not I am always worried that certain things are going to happen, like losing touch. In order to calm my worries, Danya and I always develop a plan before I leave town. For instance, I am writing this blog from seat 15A on my way to spend 3 months in Anchorage dancing with Alaska Dance Theatre. To ensure that we stay in the best touch possible, we have developed a plan to talk every evening before Danya goes to sleep (there is a 4 hour time difference) and to Skype once every weekend. We keep this plan loose, in the event that we are just too busy to talk. But the important part of this plan is that we have set an intention. Even if we don't have much to share with each other, we still get on the phone and talk for a minute or two. When you are used to seeing one another every day, it is easy to get into free flowing conversation. But when you are apart, the conversation tends to focus on what you have done during your day. If there isn't much else to talk about, there is no need to sit in awkward silence waiting to stir up conversation. If we have a lot to talk about, we spend more time chatting. But on days where we have less to talk about, we sum up our day and say goodnight. There will be more to talk about tomorrow and its not worth stressing that we didn't have much to share. As for Skype, having a visual conversation helps make me feel better when we've been apart for too long. Although you can't touch each other, you can at least feel like you are in the same room.

One particular challenge that took a bit more thought was missing important holidays, dates, and events with one another. For instance, Danya and my anniversary is coming up in 9 days. We won't get to spend this important milestone together. To make sure that we don't miss out on this special occasion, we moved the date of our anniversary ahead ten days. Last night, we went out for a nice dinner and went out dancing afterwards. Although we can't spend our special day together, it doesn't mean that we can't move it and celebrate on another day. Coming up next is Valentine's day. We clearly can't spend this holiday together and it would be odd to celebrate our anniversary and Valentine's day a few days apart and nearly a month prior to the holiday. So, we have already planned to celebrate Valentine's day with a Skype dinner date. Having some facetime on a computer doesn't only have to involve sitting at a desk, staring at one another on a computer screen. We are both going to make our own dinner and buy a bottle of wine and sit down at a table and enjoy each others company over a meal. Again, although we can't touch each other, we can still have the experience of being together.

Dan climbing atop a mountain of snow at Portage Bay, AK

The final way that I combat the emotional strain of being apart for such a long period of time is by bringing my partner along with me. This is not always an option, perhaps due to time or money. Prior to every gig I do, I ask my host family or hotel if my partner can join me for a few days. I have never been told no, but if I was I would be more than willing to pay for a hotel. My partner and I have a rule that he has to come visit me in the middle of any gig that I do if it lasts longer than 3 weeks. I feel very lucky that Danya owns his own business (Spaces Transformed - Professional Organizer) and has more flexibility to travel. For instance, during the 3 months that I am away in Alaska, Danya will be joining me for 3 1/2 weeks, smack dab in the middle of the gig.  This way we will spend a month apart, be together for a month, and then have another month before I return home. That sounds much better than 3 months of phone and Skype conversations. Since he owns his own business, he can work wherever his services are needed. His home and office organization business travels well and he is currently looking forward to working with clients in Alaska. I am very excited to have him enjoy this experience with me. It is almost like a mini-vacation/retreat.

Traveling while freelancing can make one feel lonely, moreso when you have to leave a loved one at home. Bringing sentimental items and photos, setting up phone and Skype dates, celebrating special days and holidays early and via skype, and bringing your partner along with you can make the distance more bearable. I love my partner and I love my job. I feel so lucky to have a partner that is so supportive of what I do that he is willing to let me leave home for, sometimes, months at a time. One thing that I was surprised to learn through all of this time apart is that the distance actually brings us closer. It brings about a stronger sense of appreciation, refreshment, and excitement when we are finally reunited again.

Savoring the moment and sharing a special dinner together

In the spirit of the holidays - Part 1 (8 wild moments)

Chanukkah bush and the Jewish nutcracker my mom made me

 In the spirit of the holidays, I have decided to make two lists. This first list is written in the spirit of Chanukkah. Being a secular super Jew (maybe that is an exaggeration),  I am quite aware that the Festival of Lights is well past, but lets keep the celebration going. In honor of the 8 days and nights that the oil burnt bright, I am posting 8 wild moments I experienced while freelancing this year from Philadelphia to Alaska and all the way back to South Carolina.

Super Jew???

1.  One of my wildest experiences while freelancing this year happened while dancing with Alaska Dance Theatre in Anchorage. I was set to dance on live television for Alaska LIVE with Bernadette. About 30 minutes prior to airing across the state, I rehearsed a solo that I performed as Cassio in Othello. Nobody noticed that I rehearsed facing the wrong direction. When my live segment was coming up, they finally realized that they had told me to face the wrong way. The new space was very odd and I was dancing on concrete. Let's just say I winged the whole thing very well.

2. During class at one of my gigs, a dancer sprained her ankle. The director leapt out of their office and said, "You will hate me for this, but you must grab a belt, put in your mouth, stand up, go to barre, and do 100 tendues with sprained ankle. NOW GO!" Let's just say I about died and had to leave the room. (PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!)

3. Three words - Disco search lights during the Sugar Plum variation. While I'm on Nutcracker...performing at a mega church, the addition of English, Italian, and a love pas de deux between Clara and Drosselmeyer, the spilling of dry ice onstage and instead of cleaning it up immediately raising the curtain, a drill team of ridiculously talented gingerbabies, instead of the curtain falling after bows Gangnam Style starts playing and the whole cast does the entire dance, and performing 3 shows of Chinese and 15 shows as the Cavalier.

On set - Itchiest beard ever!

4. During class onstage, a chipmunk snuck onstage through an open stage door. It ran amok around and through dancers feet for about 5 minutes. Never heard little girls scream so loud!

5. I swore I'd never mention this, but in the name of fun and good humor, performing in a dance film that was essentially Nutcracker mixed with Alice in Wonderland and a hint of Little Drummer Boy on acid. Think techno-Nutcracker music with elephants screaming in the background in the month of July. Shhhhhh...don't tell anyone I was ever in it!

6. Performing an open rehearsal in New York City at the 3-room studio/home of the 95 year old choreographer. Dressing room = pantry, lobby = bedroom/dining room, dance studio = dance studio.

Preparing for the live taping

7. After performing my solo on Alaska LIVE with Bernadette (#1 on this list), I immediately sat down to be interviewed live by Bernadette herself. When I sat in my stool, it immediately collapsed while somehow landing on the pole that held the seat up. I was able to balance the seat without it falling by squeezing my legs and pushing down as hard as I could. I did this for the entirety of the 4-minute interview. Lets just say that the crew applauded me when we went to commercial and my legs killed me for days afterwards.

8. Jumping into Neopolitan in Swan Lake with about 2 minutes notice that the original dancer had injured themselves at the end of the first act. Then the staff realizing there was nobody to perform my other part. I performed both parts in every show.

Stay tuned for a 12 days of Christmas inspired post in this 2-part blog series!

Things I've learned while freelancing thus far

I'm in a weird mood today and have really been itching to get some content out for my readers. Per my odd mood, instead of writing a regular run-of-the-mill blog, I am going to change it up and serve you with a BList, or Blog List (aren't I ingenious?). Today, I offer you a list of things I've learned while freelancing thus far. Ya know, since I still have so much more to learn and experience. Enjoy!

- Since I don't dance for any company full-time, I don't have the option of company class every morning. If I don't take class every day of the week, I am not going to get out of shape, lose all of the technique I've been working on since I was 2, or get fat.

- If I don't take class multiple times a week, I will get out of shape, find certain areas of my technique are faltering, lose strength, and possibly get fat.

- Just because you are offered to travel somewhere exotic, doesn't mean it is a great offer. For instance, I was offered to go to Hawaii to perform Nutcracker. I would fly the day before the shows and go straight from the airport to rehearsal. And I would fly out the day after the shows. Nothing like a half-day of travel into rehearsal, 6 shows, and then another half-day of travel without getting the glory of seeing this paradise.

- Sometimes it seems you are approaching an agreement with an employer. This doesn't mean you should get excited. It is not uncommon for all communication to suddenly cease and to never hear from said employer ever again.

- Getting to travel to dance around the world is exciting and really cool. Most people you interact with will think it is the most glorious thing ever. Though, sometimes you just want to sleep in your own bed, pet your cats, and spend time with your partner/lover/close friends/family/etc.

- It doesn't matter how small or under the radar most companies are, there are amazing dancers EVERYWHERE! Not just in the largest companies that receive the most press.

- Nobody should EVER be placed with a host family that doesn't have wireless internet. Just saying.

- Usually, at least half of the people that take advanced open classes probably belong in beginner open classes. Also, they have absolutely no spatial awareness. This can present a challenge when you are trying to keep in shape and challenge yourself as your own teacher.

- NEVER negotiate via skype or phone. Get it in writing (usually via email). Also, don't be afraid to make requests that you may feel are out of reach. If they are and the employer is in this negotiation in good faith, they will compromise or explain why they can't agree to certain terms.

10 degrees in Anchorage - I left coat in car to go clubbing

- Alaska isn't a scary place.  (I will be returning to dance with Alaska Dance Theatre for their Winter season this January - April).

- Leaving for a gig that is more than a month is a great reason to throw a party! Which means you get multiple going away parties a year!

-  It is alright if I take a contemporary class for my warm-up/technique class. I won't lose my ballet technique by supplementing other styles and I will expand my reach as an artist.

- Some people will ask you to do things for free. But others will compensate you like a rockstar. Show your appreciation when due. And be prepared to perform like said rockstar!

- You will have better access to footage/pictures of your career than you would ever have dancing for a unionized company.

- If you need something, you have to ask for it.

- New York is the easiest and hardest place to freelance. There are more gigs per capita, which are easily accessible, but most freelancers can't afford to live comfortably on dancing itself in Manhattan, let alone any other safe neighborhood in a different borough

- Some gigs will be horribly unprofessional. Try your best to complete your duties, but don't forget to respect and protect yourself. If you feel like conditions are unsafe, speak up. If you are not getting paid on time/correctly, make the employer very aware that this practice is not acceptable. Be sure to document all of these activities to protect yourself.

- Integrity is everything.

- The internet is your best friend. Along with Google. Go on the search engine, think of a place you want to visit, add the word ballet at the end, and unabashedly email. (I want to visit Atlanta and I love to dance. Google: Atlanta Ballet. Obviously, you will get Atlanta Ballet, but keep searching. Then, email these companies that you are available for work. Before you know it, you could be traveling to Atlanta to work).

- One of the most important tools of the trade are your freelancing friends. Not only can these friends pass work along to you if they are unavailable, but they know exactly what it is like to be a freelance dancer. Nothing beats the support and advice of a friend that has been through exactly what you may be going through.

- Most professional dancers are the same around the world. Amazingly talented and slightly insecure. No matter the front they put up, they really just want to be accepted. Also, nearly all pros really know how to have a good time.