Reframing Your Thinking

Overexposed and ringing in the new year with great friends

Whew! This new year has been a complete and utter whirlwind. I have had mostly major ups and a few minor downs (that include a business I will no longer support - Megabus - avoid this company at ALL costs). But I honestly can’t complain about anything at this point, other than the fact that I need a few more hours in my bed every night. Since the new year, I have taught master classes in both Ballet and Contemporary techniques for the pre-professional class at the School of Pennsylvania Ballet. There was even a sprinkling of company members who joined me for class. Additionally, I will be teaching Contemporary classes for the Second Avenue Dance Company in February. This is a performing group at New York University’s Tisch school comprised of graduating BFA and MFA students. With even more news to share, I have been selected to choreograph for Columbia University’s performing group, Columbia Ballet Collaborative, for their 10th anniversary performances in April. All of this coupled with my 7-week Advanced Beginner Ballet series at Broadway Dance Center (Fridays at 6 pm through February), choreographing student solos for Youth America Grand Prix, and teaching elsewhere has me feeling extremely grateful to be sought out in my art form.

Pre-professional division students at the School of Pennsylvania Ballet (Photo: Alexander Izaliev)

It’s funny, though, because while I am so lucky to have all of this interest in my work, there is a certain degree of anxiety that comes along with it. The concept behind this may require a bit of explanation. Just this weekend, I got news about 5 positive choreographic and teaching offers. While it seems that I should only be feeling excitement here, there is a certain type of stress that comes with positive news. I noticed today that I was experiencing a bit of my former anxiety that I used to get when I was traveling a bunch during my performance career. I would find myself attempting to focus on the work in front of my face, while feeling distracted by setting up what was next (one of the hazards of working as a freelancer). The impossibility of only focusing on the task at hand would make me feel overwhelmed and I now recognize that it contributed to my burn out that I have discussed in this blog already. As a freelance artist, your work stops when the jobs stop. In the process of working to set up continuity within my career, I never took a moment to recognize that I was actually having my career. Instead, I constantly felt like I was working on reaching a certain level of success in my career and didn’t realize that I was actually living it until it was over. There was very little in the moment for me because I was only living in the future.  And while that aspect of my career ended over 2 years ago, I only recognized this today.

So, just a little background. With all of this wonderful news that I’ve gotten in the last week, I had two horrible experiences with Megabus. If you don’t read this regularly, I commute from Philadelphia to New York City multiple times a week to teach at Steps on Broadway, Broadway Dance Center, and Greenwich Ballet Academy. Early on Friday morning, in freezing cold temperatures, our bus never showed up. And, shortly after, on Tuesday night, there were a series of fiascos that prevented our bus from arriving in Philadelphia until 4 am in the morning. I had to teach for the School of Pennsylvania Ballet at 9:30 am that same morning. I was put off by this organization both times and they refused to acknowledge their issues or compensate me for their poor practices/lack of service. This stress, coupled with exhaustion and the flood of positive news somehow threw me back into the throws of anxiety that I experienced previously. I found myself negatively fixated on my exhaustion and the challenges of having limited time in any one place. And I found that I was again telling myself that things will get better when I actually make it into a certain realm of success. Then, this afternoon, out of nowhere, I had a realization. I realized I needed to reframe my thinking because I want to take in all of the amazing experiences that I am having and be as in the moment as I possibly can.

We are very lucky as human beings that we have intellect and the ability to analyze things that are happening in our lives. I firmly believe that one of the best analytical qualities that we share is the ability to reframe life experiences in order to make a dialogue fit in better with our story. Sometimes, this works to our benefit. While, at other times, it can be very detrimental and lead a person to spiral into dark, dark places. But if we can take control of how we frame our life and career experiences in our minds, we can benefit greatly from this. Of course, this is as long as we are being honest with ourselves about where we are and how things are going.

In my current situation, it was almost a bit too natural for me to look at recent happenings and tell myself that things are difficult because I haven’t yet succeeded in reaching my end career goals. Mind you, this is ridiculous to consider at the age of 33. Additionally, I was digesting more stress from the challenges of dealing with the negligent Megabus company and the added exhaustion those issues brought on. I found myself walking to the gym before I jumped on the Bolt Bus to teach at Steps on Broadway tonight telling myself that everything will be glorious when I actually make it big someday. And then right then and there, almost as if I had been hit by a bus, I realized that I wasn’t looking at the situation from any rational perspective. I needed to reframe my thinking.

That moment at 3:34 am, when your Megabus driver gets off the bus to ask a homeless person for directions :-/

At that very moment, I reversed the natural stream of thoughts that roll through my head and chose to look at things differently. I told myself, “No. I am not in any bad situation, at all. And while there are always new dreams and achievements that I want to attain, I am actually living my dream right now. I’m not putting in the work to get to my dream. I’m putting in the work that one does while they live it and that is why I am successful. Yes, my success can get greater. Yes, I have greater goals in mind. But I am not putting in all of this work to get somewhere. I am there and, as long as I keep positively moving forward, it can only get better from here.”

So, now as I sit here on the Bolt Bus (goodbye Megabus 😂 have I made my point?) heading to Steps to teach, I realize that I should be proud of my success. And that my success sometimes puts me in situations that require me to travel a lot, to lose sleep, and to spend time away from my loved ones. This isn’t a greatly negative thing. It is an aspect of becoming successful. And if I can’t come to grips with that in this stage of my career, I may find myself in the same type of burn out situation that I was in at the end of my performance career. And, I don’t want to go through that again.

If you can use my exploration of the idea of reframing thinking to have a more positive outlook on your own life and career goals, I feel that you can benefit from this, as well. Dancers are naturally overachieving spirits. We are always looking to reach the next level of success in many areas of our lives. Whether it is casting, rank promotion, technique, health, or anything else, we tend to be extremely critical of ourselves. When you start to feel out of sorts, if you can reframe your thinking you may recognize that you have already achieved what you are seeking and that you just haven’t taken note that it is happening or already has happened.

My 2016 Highlights - Year in Review

It has been a really interesting year for many of us here on this grand planet! Over the past few weeks, I have seen a variety of status updates wishing, hoping, and dreaming for 2016 to end as quickly as possible. Yes, there were a handful of challenging events that have taken place; from the presidential election to celebrity deaths and terrorist attacks galore. While many of these events have happened in quick succession of one another, in reality, many of them were completely unrelated to each other. I feel that people are overwhelmed by the quantity of these events and feel that passing into a new year will bring a fresh, clean slate to start anew. Although there were certainly challenges this year, there were many great things that happened for many people, including myself. And, in the spirit of the upcoming new year, I'd like to share with you my highlights and year in review. Happy new year to you all! I can't wait to see where 2017 takes us!

Danya & My Wedding Day (Photo: Emily Yamamoto)

Reclaiming my Life and Sanity:

It may sound funny, but ever since I started writing here on Life of a Freelance Dancer and saw my freelance work explode (in all of the best ways), I felt like most things that were happening in my life were out of control. My work was flying me all over the country and I was barely home for any length of time. It started to take its toll on me and, at times, I felt like I was losing all sense of self. This year that all changed. I was proactive in making major changes in my life and career that allowed me to stay home more and regain a sense of balance that had been missing in my life for nearly 5 years. I think I slept in my own bed at least half of 2016, which is a record for me at this point. Beyond that, I got to see my husband a bunch, connect with friends on a regular basis, and see my family more than I have seen them since I moved away from home in 2001. While ambition and success are important, sometimes you just need to hit the brakes and remind yourself of who you are, how you got where you are, and breathe a bit before you figure out where you are going next.

Seeing the Aurora Borealis:

Aurora Borealis swirling above Fox, Alaska (near Fairbanks)

I knew that it was going to be a great year from the start. I finished my 2nd AK-BK Contemporary Ballet Workshop program in Anchorage, Alaska around January 3rd at the beginning of the year. Immediately following my program, my Danya and our friend JRo flew up towards the Arctic Circle to spend 3 days on the side of a mountain and wait for the 4 hours of daylight to pass for us to view the Aurora Borealis. While we were lucky enough to see the magical Northern Lights the first two nights, we were gifted one of the most extravagant light shows ever on our last night up north.


Being Featured in Dance Magazine:

It was a complete and total honor to be featured in the print issue of Dance Magazine this past February. I was featured alongside New York City Ballet Principal Megan Fairchild in a piece that discussed our social media work and how we artists are finding unique ways to break the fourth wall with audiences. Thanks to this feature, I was asked to host my podcast and was later featured in April by Dance Magazine on their social media.

Getting Married: 

I've always been kind of a weirdo when it comes to following any cultural expectation, especially when it comes to babies, dogs, and weddings. It took about a year and a half of gay marriage being legalized for me to finally agree to wed my love of 11 years. We celebrated our wonderful wedding day at a historic theatre a few miles from where I was raised and were surrounded by family and friends from all over the country. And by the time the wedding day came, I finally got it! I understood why the day was so special!

Click Here to Watch the Solo I Choreographed and Danced Telling the Story of Danya and Me Getting Together

Being Hired to Teach at Steps on Broadway & Broadway Dance Center:

The screen at the front desk - Steps on Broadway

The first time I went to New York City on my own was at the ripe young age of 15 to take class at Broadway Dance Center. Eventually, under the mentorship of Bob Rizzo, at the age of 16 I started taking classes on a more regular basis at Steps on Broadway. I remember thinking what a supreme accomplishment it would be to have the opportunity to teach at these famous institutions. Beginning in January, it took 6 months of ambitious effort for them to give me a chance. But in both June and July, I realized my childhood dream of getting to teach at these schools. Now, I am on my way towards hopefully earning permanent classes and am glad to put in my time as a regular guest faculty member.

My Pas de Chát: Talking Dance Podcast on the Premier Dance Network:

As I stated above, after being featured in February's Dance Magazine, I was contacted by the CEO of the Premier Dance Network to produce and host a podcast on the largest dance podcasting network in the world. In April, I began recording Pas de Chát: Talking Dance. Getting the chance to share my voice on such a major platform has brought me an array of new opportunities. From guest interviews on the This Show is So Gay and Barretender podcasts, to teaching, speaking for the Dancers Resource|Actors Fund about Managing the Freelance Life, and more things that I can't yet discuss, I have been so grateful to have a growing number of avenues to share my art. I have never particularly wanted to be famous. But I have always wanted to be respected in my field and to feel like my knowledge and work is important and respected. Getting this nod and platform has definitely been a great push in the right direction to achieve my goals.

Getting to Sleep in My Own Bed Often:

Mmmmmmm....My Bed!!!!

This goes along with the first highlight of my year. One important aspect in reclaiming my own sanity was to sleep in my own bed more regularly. The idea of this doesn't just represent resting in my own comfort, but it also means that I got to see my husband more often and to have time to show him that he is just as important to me as my career. It doesn't matter how many times I have had to ride the Megabus or Bolt Bus back from my 2-4 weekly trips to New York City to teach, network, and more. Just getting to sleep in my own bed, cuddled up beside my Danya has been a major highlight of my year.

Taking Nancy Bielski's Class on the Regular:

One of my biggest challenges since I stopped having the option to take company class regularly was finding a ballet class that inspired me to show up every day. While I haven't necessarily been able to make it up to New York City every day this year, I have been sure to drop into Nancy Bielski's class at Steps on Broadway 1-5 times a week. A major part of my burn out was feeling like I had to go to ballet class every day, even if I felt uninspired. Well, Nancy definitely inspires me to show up, work hard, and not take myself so seriously that I cut myself down all the time. Beyond that, what is more inspiring than plie-ing and tendu-ing beside the likes of dancers like Alessandra Ferri, Misty Copeland, Diana Vishneva, professional ballet dancers, Broadway dancers, and beyond. 

Honeymoon:

View on the train from Machu Picchu

While I have gotten to travel a ton since I began my freelance career a handful of years ago, all of my work has been domestic. I'm still struggling to figure out how to find teaching, choreographic, and speaking work outside of the United States. Due to the quantity of my work and the stress of feast or famine periods, Danya and I haven't gotten to travel internationally since I left Pacific Northwest Ballet in 2011. Well, that all changed this year. Thanks to the generosity of our friends and family at our wedding, we were able to travel to Peru, Chile, Argentina, and Uruguay for the most awe-inspiring 3-week honeymoon this past September. Beyond the amazingness of seeing the clouds slowly swirl out of the ancient Incan citadel of Machu Picchu, we visited culturally rich Lima and Cuzco, grafitti-laden Santiago and Valparaiso, and the artsy glamour of Buenos Aires. I feel it is so important to travel the world and experience other cultures. It teaches us that there are so many ways that people can live on this earth. And while different, each of these ways of living is just as valid as my own.

Retirement:
 
I think a great way to end this post and ring in the new year is to discuss my coming to terms with the end of my performance career. While I hadn't really performed publicly that much since my injury with Oakland Ballet in May of 2014, I still didn't consider myself retired for quite some time. After giving myself the time to reclaim my life and sanity, I finally found the strength to announce that I have concluded the majority of my performance career. While this was difficult to vocalize publicly, it was, perhaps, the most important moment of my year. It allowed me to give my mind and body a break, while also allowing me to fully focus on the next stages of my career. Since I posted about this back in August, I have had more opportunities to teach and speak. As I head forward into 2017, I look forward to taking greater advantage of this and building my choreographic portfolio immensely.

Closing the Chapter to 2016 (Photo: JRo)

Catch Up on LOFD (Vol. 3) - Previous Blog Posts

My instep in Steps on Broadway - I'll be teaching Contemporary classes 12/19-12/22

Life of a Freelance Dancer has become so much more than a blog. With over 175 posts, 200,000 views, and readers in more than 70 countries, we have become a great influencer in the world of dance and independent contracting work. It has become a major part of my life and career, a tool for dancers around the world, and has influenced a great many artists as they embark on their professional careers as freelance artists. I've always been a fan of Blogger and enjoy keeping my blog in a simple, old-school format. But one issue that this poses is that there is no easy way to look back into the archive of blogs that I have curated. So, every few dozen posts, I do my best to list every blog that I have ever written for easy access for all of my readers. So, welcome to your semi-regular list post. When you look below, you will find every post I have ever written. And if you want to dig deeper into our archives, you can click on the first and second volumes of Catch Up on LOFD. Enjoy and Happy Holidays!!!!!!

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See Blogs 1-123 here - Catch Up on LOFD (Vol. 1) - Previous Blog Posts

148. See Blogs 124-147 here - Catch Up on LOFD (Vol. 2) - Previous Blog Posts

149. New York Called

150. Money Talks - Determining Your Value

151. How to Write a Freelancer's Resume or CV

152. LOFD receives significant mention in Dance Magazine

153. Good & Bad Ways to Deal with Freelancing Anxiety

154. How to Come Back After an Injury

155. Freelancing from a Woman's Perspective

156. I'm a Modern Day Gypsy

157. "Pas de Chat: Talking Dance" launches on Itunes

158. Over-Promoting on Social Media

159. The Freelance Instructor & Ballet Master - Matthew Powell

160. Developing Your Networking Skills

161. Life of a Dance Podcast Host

162. Adapting to Differing Company Practices

163. Determining Rates for Teaching

164. The Freelance Choreographer - Outside Perspectives

165. Respectful Ways to Respond to Issues

166. The Art of Putting Yourself Out There

167. A Candid Perspective - Curate This

168. The "R" Word - Retirement

169. Sharing LOFD on Popular Podcasts

170. How to Reach Out to Somebody You Don't Know

171. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone - Honeymoon Edition

172. Acting Professionally in a Rehearsal Studio

173. Halloween Edition - 11 Scary Thoughts Dancers Have

174. Healing Divides through the Arts

175. *EVENT ALERT* - Managing the Freelance Life - Monday, Dec. 5th

176. Who to Thank & How to Do It

177. Accepting Payment at the End of a Gig

Accepting Payment at the End of a Gig

Performing with the cast of CVDA's The Nutcracker

I recently performed in yet another production of every non-dancer's favorite holiday production of The Nutcracker. The shows went well, I wore white tights onstage for the first time this season, and I made a pretty penny all while playing the role of King of the Cranes, or the actual title of the role, Sugar Plum Fairy Cavalier. When all was said and done, I'm glad that I participated yet again in this seasonal tradition. One of my favorite memories from this year's production was watching one of my former students from Alaska, whom I still mentor, perform in one of his first professional guesting gigs. He performed the role of Snow King and did a stellar job at jumping in, learning the choreography quickly, and delivering solid performances. During the final intermission of his 3 show run, as I took the stage to warm up and prepare my presentation of the Sugar Plum Fairy, I noticed my student sitting on the side of the stage, fully-costumed with sweat dripping down his brow. I took a moment to determine why he was still sitting around in costume during the intermission when I quickly noted that his hands were holding a handful of Amtrak tickets that needed to be reimbursed for his travel to rehearsals and the theatre. Considering I have been mentoring this kid for some years, I kindly walked over, suggested he get changed, and hang around to watch the 2nd act of the production. What I hadn't contemplated until that moment is that there is actually an art to receiving payment that nearly every freelancer will experience at some point as a gig comes to an end.

There are a handful of different payment arrangements that can be made in order to make sure that a freelancer is compensated appropriately and within a respectful time frame. I've spoken about some of these in previous blogs, so I am not going to go into way too much detail here. If a dancer is spending a handful of weeks dancing for an employer, they often receive weekly paychecks or direct deposit into their bank account. But for many freelancers, especially during times like the holiday Nutcracker season, directors often save payment until the end of the last performance of a series. While I have sometimes received a nice little thank you note with payment at the top of my last show, it is much more common to be handed a check after you've received your applause, taken off your makeup, and changed into street clothes. This makes sense, especially if this is your first time working for a company or school. The organization likely wants to be sure you fulfill all of your contractual obligations before handing over your handsome fee. Sometimes, this transaction is taken care of quickly and goes over without thought or attention. Other times, you may be ready to head home, to your hotel, or to the airport, and wondering when you are going to be compensated for you artistic services.

For my student, he found himself in an awkward predicament. He wasn't performing or bowing in the second act, plus he had a local friend ready to drive him to the train back into the city. Since the train wasn't until later, I suggested he wait around and watch the rest of the show. I offered this advice for one reason. The director of a show, who usually issues payment, is likely overwhelmed with the process of making sure that the performance is running on track. From dancers to crew to wardrobe, audience, and beyond, there are many aspects of a show that a director must take care of in order to keep things running smoothly. To stop the director in their tracks asking for payment could be a huge distraction and may even make your intentions and desire to work come off greedy. You don't want it to look like you are only focused on the paycheck. You are a part of a production and there is a certain amount of excitement, emotion, and cultural etiquette that can quickly be cut off or broken by asking for payment. This may be especially true if you head out before the show is over. You want to be supportive of the show and your cast, especially if you are performing for a school and being brought in as a role model.

Now, if you absolutely have a time crunch where you need to get out of the theatre to catch transport, be sure to discuss this with the director prior to the beginning of the show. This is quite understandable, but should be addressed in advance. Usually, the director will make sure that they or an advocate are available to pay you on your way out. Or they often will just give you payment at the top of the show.

So, what do you do if the show has finished and you still haven't been paid? Sometimes, the overwhelming chaos at the end of a production can make a director forgetful, as the crew loads out, the wardrobe collects costumes to be cleaned and stored, and the dancers congratulate one another and change into street clothes. It is possible that intentions can get lost. In this situation, it is perfectly appropriate to seek out the director and request payment. This can be a bit awkward since nobody likes to talk money. But I find that writing a simple thank you card and handing it to them after the series can be an easy pathway to remind them that they owe you something. Think along the lines of a reminder that some type of exchange should be happening. Beyond this, it is good etiquette and relationship building to do this. If you didn't think ahead and get a thank you card, be sure to say goodbye and offer a verbal thank you. And if you still aren't handed your hard-earned salary, do ask when you should expect to receive a check. This is a customary way of saying, "I need to be paid", without demanding it. Usually, by this point, you will be collecting your salary. If not, then that is an entirely different conversation and blog post.

It is a rare occasion when payment isn't received at the end of a show, unless another arrangement has been agreed upon. As I always say, make sure you get an idea of when you should receive payment in writing (or at least in an email). It is never appropriate for an employer to pay you whenever they feel like it. You should know when to expect payment in order to keep track of whether you've been compensated or not. In fact, New York City recently passed the Freelance Isn't Free Act (have they been reading my blog 😉), which requires any freelance artist that makes more than $800 with an organization to have a written contract and receive payment in full within 30 days. This seems like a fair guideline to hold all organizations to, whether you live in New York City or not.

As I've stated many times in this blog, money can be one of the most awkward and uncomfortable things to discuss. But it is important that you get paid within an appropriate time frame. If you don't know when to expect being paid, don't wait around hoping it will happen. Be proactive and start a conversation. Just make sure that you don't start that conversation too late or in the middle of a hectic performance.

Be sure to check out my Holiday Shopping Ideas for Dancers on Pas de Chát: Talking Dance on iTunes - Me & my niece playing around before Nutcracker

Who to Thank & How to Do It

There are many rituals and etiquette that exist in our beautiful dance world. Some of them are more universal across companies, like saying "merde" or "toi toi" to cast mates to wish them well before a show or making sure you don't step over a fellow dancer's legs to stave off bad luck. Other practices can be more specific to a company and their culture, like performing a pinky circle with the cast prior to curtain or giving a speech to performers right before the show starts. There are a variety of practices and superstitions that take place from production to production, including ways to say thank you. Considering the holiday season is upon us and Thanksgiving launches us straight into Nutcracker season, I thought I should share the people you want to thank and how to thank them appropriately.

Dance Partner:

R&J w/Fort Wayne Ballet (Photo: Jeffrey Crane)

If all goes well throughout the rehearsal process, you and your partner may become quite close. Whether things work out that way or not, it is appropriate to offer thanks to your partner in some way. Most commonly, dancers say thank you in the shape of a merde gift before the first show of the role you dance together. If you are doing 10 shows in a production, you can leave a card and a small gift to show your appreciation in your partner's dressing room spot. I've always enjoyed looking for gifts that make sense for the role we were dancing. For instance, when I danced Romeo in Romeo and Juliet, I gave my partner a rose, a card, and some Hershey kisses to represent the love we created onstage. If you interact with your partner a lot, definitely at least offer a card. If you have short fleeting moments onstage together, it isn't necessary to go out of your way to get them something. A simple spoken thank you at the end of the performance should suffice.

Coach:

If you are performing a role that requires great depth and are assigned a single coach to help pull out the best qualities in your performance, it may be appropriate to get a thank you for their investment in your career. Like I said above, if you are having a normal rehearsal interaction with a ballet master, then a simple thank you will do. But if this coach has gone out of their way to bring out the best performance you can give, be sure to write them a note and consider buying them flowers, candy, or something meaningful related to the role that you are performing.

Choreographer/Stager:

If a choreographer creates a new work on you or a stager comes in to set a ballet and does a stellar job of preparing the dancers, it is completely appropriate to purchase a gift to show your appreciation. Back when I danced at Pacific Northwest Ballet, we would designate somebody or a dancer would claim responsibility to come up with an appropriate gift for the occasion. Whether it was flowers or an inside joke between everyone in the cast, this one responsible dancer would determine the cost of the item/s to be bought and collect cash from each dancer who wants to contribute. Once the purchase was made, there would always be a card on hand for those that contributed to sign their name and, perhaps, write a short note.

Boss:

It is extremely rare for a dancer to go out of their way to express thanks to their boss outside of a verbal display of appreciation. Buying a gift for somebody that holds a lot of power can make it difficult to tell if it is truly to express thanks or is instead a way to seek favor and positive attention from the big guy or gal who is making decisions about your career. If you really want to let your boss know you appreciated getting a role or enjoyed an opportunity to try something new, schedule a meeting or wait for your evaluation.

Cast mates:

Sometimes, you and your cast mates really click in a work. And, sometimes, people go out of their way to do something kind for the whole cast. This is rare, can become expensive, and can take a lot of time to prepare during your precious downtime. The best and most common way that I have seen dancers do something to show appreciation for their fellow dancers is to go home and bake something tasty. Cookies, cake, or candy are the perfect way to say thank you to a large group of people, as they are relatively inexpensive, can be produced en masse, and are also a good pick me up during difficult show weeks.

My Cast at the National Choreographers Initiative (Photo: Dave Friedman)

Host:

If you are freelancing and find yourself living with a host, it is considered gracious to leave a little thank you on the counter when you head home (or offer in person if that floats your boat). If you are only staying with a host for a few days, a simple thank you card will do. But if you have spent a significant amount of time living in your host's home, it is appropriate to get something more for them. My favorite go-to is a bottle of wine or Prosecco if they drink alcohol. If they don't, something thoughtful with a card leaves a nice impression and can help build long lasting friendships. And, even better, if you are a freelance artist, you can write off up to $25 of the cost on your taxes, as this is a business expense.

Anybody That Went Out of Their Way for You:

It isn't necessary for you to thank each and every person that does something for you. Maybe your dresser was extra helpful or the conductor paid extra attention to your request to slow down the tempo for your solo. Since these people are just doing their job (and are stellar at it, too) a simple verbal thank you is more than enough to express your appreciation for those that have helped you perform at your best. Now, if somebody went way out of their way to assist you in getting on the stage, like if a physical therapist gave you extra attention in an emergency or somebody from wardrobe saved your life helping with quick changes, it could be a beautiful gesture to write them a short thank you in the form of a card. Here, it really is the thought that counts. And this is just good, basic relationship building skills at their best.

Yourself:

Don't forget that it is also really great to thank yourself. Give yourself a day off at the end of a production that doesn't involve going to a party, drinking alcohol, or anything else that could be too draining. Buy yourself that cupcake you wouldn't allow yourself to have because you had to wear a white unitard. Or, even better, treat yourself to a good deep-tissue sports massage or for a few dips at your favorite Russian baths. It is easy to think about being thankful to those around you. But you were just as much a part of creating magic onstage as everyone around you.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!

I will actually be releasing a podcast on Pas de Chát: Talking Dance tomorrow about Cultivating Thankfulness. So, if you are looking to find ways to be more thankful in your life, be sure to tune into that starting Friday! Happy Thanksgiving!

*EVENT ALERT* - Managing the Freelance Life - Monday, Dec. 5th - 5-7 PM at Gibney Dance

A few years ago, I produced a New York City-based event called Contact: A Networking Event for Freelance Dancers. While I haven't produced this event in the past few years, finding new ways to bring the freelance dance community together continues to be an important aspect of my work. Back in September, I was called into The Dancers' Resource and Career Transitions for Dancers to talk about events that may benefit those dancers, choreographers, and teachers who already work as freelancers or need more information about how to freelance. I am very excited to say that these great organizations asked me to speak at their first event catered to the freelance community on Monday, December 5th from 5-7 pm at Gibney Dance (280 Broadway). So, if you are looking for information to begin working as a freelance artist, need some tips for success, or are looking for a chance to meet other freelancers, feel free to join us for this free event, Managing the Freelance Life - Strategies for Success. Please share this with all of the freelancers you know (dancers, dance educators, choreographers).  If you plan on attending, please be sure to RSVP by clicking here. I hope to see you there and be sure to come up to me at the event and let me know that you heard about here on Life of a Freelance Dancer! Cheers!

Healing Divides through the Arts

"Dear Barry. Don't sit down and consider what you want to write. Open up your iPad, take a deep breath, and create a post about exactly what you want to talk about in the moment."

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I'm glad I'm giving myself permission to write freely, openly, and without prompt. I've been spending a great deal of time since Tuesday feeling the pull of generalized and social media telling me how to feel. When I angrily turn off the television or slam my computer shut, I sit in my own mind and begin doing the same. "Barry! It's time to move on. You need to find some way to focus and accept what has happened." It feels nice that by writing this I can remind myself through my work that it is alright to choose my own path through any experience.

Not all, but a great majority of us United States artists experienced a devastating loss early Wednesday morning when Donald Trump was named President-Elect of our great country. Aside from the explosive release of the most stressful, negative campaign on record, people of all minorities sunk deeply into their seats imagining how their rights, safety, and livelihood would be affected by this news. I wasn't sleeping at home that night, instead on my friend's couch on the 19th floor of an apartment overlooking a frighteningly silent New York City. I felt alone and dazed until I finally fell asleep. But not before only one tear dropped down my cheek onto my pillow.

I woke up the next morning equally dazed. I couldn't turn on my regular morning talk show, The Today Show. I couldn't watch anything where I had to see people happy or faking their disposition for a television audience. I almost couldn't bring myself to pack my clothes and get changed to stop and take class at Steps on Broadway before I headed back to Philadelphia. But I somehow found myself standing at the front of the studio, barre in hand and taking the deepest breath as I began moving my body to the sullen melody our pianist played expressing himself in the best way he knew. Like the moments before a drug kicks in, you are already committed to the ride. Just you don't know exactly how profound or regret-filled this experience may get.

With such intense emotions clearly at the throats of this room of 40 or so dancers, we all began to do the one thing we knew. We began to look into ourselves. We began to look at ourselves. And we began to work on the only thing that was truly in our control. Ourselves. And slowly, but surely, teary eyes and broken hearts turned into smiles, hard work, and determination. At this point, I knew everything was going to get better.

We dancers are the lucky ones. We truly are. On even the darkest days, we have something to turn to, something to distract us, something to improve our very being. And even better than the fact that art heals, it makes us more compassionate people. People who understand the way the world works a little better, who can look at someone unlike us and see that they deserve no more than we do, and who aren't afraid to express the best and worst parts of being human. When tragedy strikes, we share our voices silently and express physical grief to heal others. When seething differences become apparent, we explore how to look at this person with compassion and understanding.

There is so much that art offers during trying times. And I fear that we may need art more than ever over the next few years as our leader's core-values seem to be heading in the direction of reinstating old, regressive, and potentially hateful ideals within our progressive nation. So, as we continue on this journey of life in and out of the dance world, I urge anybody who reads this to go out and work on improving yourself first. Then, once you feel that the time is right, find ways to use your art to help society cope, understand, and move forward with the challenges that our great nation will face as it tries to find a middle ground among a divided nation.