The Art of Putting Yourself Out There

An image of me up on the Steps on Broadway board (Photo: Shalem Photography)

I've been enjoying my time teaching at Steps on Broadway the past few weeks. I've had professionals in my classes from big companies to freelancers, received positive feedback from my peers and pianists, and felt a sense of fulfillment in my career that I've been lacking for some time. (Side note: I'm also guest teaching Intermediate Contemporary at Broadway Dance Center the next two Sundays, August 7 & 14,  from 7:30-9 PM. Come join me)  Recently, an old acquaintance offered me their compliments expressing how difficult it can be to break into an established institution like this great school. This got me thinking. While I still have a lot to do in order to get to where I want to be, it took a lot of hard, strategic work to gain the positions and experience I have had in my career. It has been a combination of effort, luck, and timing. But none of this stuff would have ever been possible if I hadn't figured out how and when to put my information out there most effectively.

There are a handful of challenges when it comes to putting yourself out there. First off, are you properly prepared to put out your best product? Also, are you following the appropriate channels of communication to get an "in" with a choreographer or director? Other things to consider include whether offering yourself up with less experience will invalidate future attempts to obtain work, if you have enough time to put true effort into your endeavors if the opportunity materializes, and whether the timing is right for you to push yourself out and forward in your career field. When thrusting oneself out of their comfort zone, all of these things need to be taken into consideration in order to build or better one's career and life.

The first thing to consider when pushing yourself in a new direction is whether you are properly prepared to accept the position if it actually offered it; whether it be trying out for that big Broadway show, seeking out a company class audition, or applying for that prestigious teaching position. We all have big dreams and career hopes. But if you aren't in a place to fully commit to and appropriately handle the work stresses that come with a specific job, it may not be the best time for you to apply for that position or audition for a new company or show. Especially for dancers, this can be a challenging one since you don't always know what you're getting yourself into until you're in the studio or on the stage. It is important to consider your training, attitude, mindset, and commitment abilities when putting oneself out there. You don't want to get the job before you're mentally or physically ready and fall apart. But at the same time, you don't want to hold yourself back if you are lacking confidence. It's a tricky line to consider.

Walking into Broadway Dance Center to teach my first Contemporary class at this amazing school

You also don't want to apply for a position that you probably can't fit into your schedule due to previous commitments. This can be especially tricky because dancers should constantly be auditioning to fine-tune their audition skills, to connect with those hiring, and to get an idea of whether they are ready to take on certain posts. Don't be afraid to attend a cattle call.  But if you really don't feel prepared for a specific position, it may be better to wait until you can show yourself at your best. Especially if you are very out of shape after an injury or time off, consider whether the chance to gain opportunity may risk further injury. Sometimes, people will remember you from application to application. So, be sure to keep in mind that auditioning for a gig completely unprepared may leave a lasting impression.

A misstep that a handful of dancers, choreographers, and instructors make is trying to use an acquaintance that is already involved in an organization to help you gain easier access to the people making decisions. This is a tricky one, as it sometimes works. But some of my most embarrassing memories are when I have tried to take the easy road and reached out to somebody I met once or twice. In trying to get an insider's advantage in my applications/auditions, I have overstepped social boundaries. If this way of putting yourself out there doesn't work to your favor, the next time you see this contact may be quite awkward.

If you barely know somebody and you want them to put in a good word for you or to forward your information to the person in charge, it could be seen as shady or show a general lack of awareness for the structure and culture of an organization. Sometimes, companies are very disjointed with a clear delineation between positions. For instance, a ballet master may be higher up in the system than a dancer and closer to the Artistic Director of a company. But they still answer to the director as their boss. So, it may not be appropriate (or even possibly offensive) for them to offer their advice on items including hiring, choreographic opportunities, and more. Again, this way of putting oneself out there has worked for me in the past. Just understand that you are taking a hearty risk by reaching out to someone for help that you barely know.

As for offering yourself up for a position that you appear to be under-qualified for, it is a different story. I learned from a good friend that applying for positions you don't feel ready for can act as great practice for when you actually have the experience to back up your application. And, sometimes, you're actually exactly what they are looking for. In these situations, it really comes down to the amount of effort you can put into preparing your materials. I know, for me, I'm tempted to apply for every inspiring position that becomes available. But I am so busy all the time, it isn't always practical to apply for jobs I am nearly positive I won't get. In building my knowledge of creating a cover letter and proper CV (aka resumé), I've applied for Artistic Director positions, Ballet Master jobs, and School Director opportunities. While the closest I've come was 2nd place to direct Rochester City Ballet, I know that I can still use a great deal of growth before I may be right to lead the size and quality establishment I dream of directing. So, when I feel that I have some free time or that a position is really important to me, I apply. And if I'm overwhelmed with work and a position pops up that sounds nice but is likely out of my league, I save my time and wait for the next practice session.

The biggest item out of your control when putting yourself out there is timing. It is true. Timing is everything. Sometimes, it is calculated and other times you have no idea that now is the right time. This is what is most difficult about making decisions pertaining to your career and seeking success. An artist may not feel ready for something they are more than prepared to take on. Or, on the other hand, they may feel that they are the one and only fit for a position that will end up being far out of their reach. This is the one factor you can count on being confusing and out of your control. But don't let the idea of proper timing deter you from trying to reach your dreams. The timing factor almost invalidates many of the points I wrote above. If you put yourself out there with the right timing (even if you aren't prepared, don't have the time, or more), you can get a dream job and prove all of these factors inconsequential.

Dancers, choreographers, instructors, and most artists have a tendency to listen to the nag of never-ending feelings of inadequacy. This can often push their art to new heights as they try to make up for this faux perception. But if your gauge and perception of true self-worth is off, you may be stifling opportunity. I suggest taking a deep, lengthy look at yourself. Then see your reflection in friends, colleagues, and peers reactions to your work. In the end, I always say artists should continuously put themselves out there. So, don't read this post and feel like you should be holding back. I hope you read this and look at it as a tool to help you make better, more informed decisions. Cheers!

Freelancing is rarely forever

Maybe I am an alien???

I've said it once and I'll say it a million more times. Freelancing is a very difficult career. I've spent the last two and a half years calling Philadelphia my home, but living with host families and in hotels across the country. I have spent more nights sleeping in guest bedrooms than I have my own. In fact, this past week I turned to my partner and told him, "I'm an alien." OK, so maybe that is a really odd/awkward statement to make. But for anybody that knows me and the way my brain works, it makes total sense. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. When I'm home, nothing seems familiar and when I am away everything is foreign. With all of this said, I was given some wise advice from the father of one of my colleague's early on in my career at PNB. "If you want to accomplish something, you need to put it in writing." So, this has been brewing for a long while now, but it has taken time to hone in on the issue and its' solution. I'm ready to put this one in writing. And with all my efforts to keep the integrity of this blog an open and honest journal and tool into freelance work and living in the dance world, I'd rather share the true experience of a freelance dancer than the glorified, overcoming adversity tale that we, as a society, are trained to enjoy and reward. I need to greatly slow down my freelancing. There. I said it. ::breathes out::

I didn't choose freelancing. I could've chosen not to freelance. There is this saying that "you don't choose ballet, it chooses you." I don't remember who said it first. But however cliche it sounds, it is true. Ballet and technical dance in general are not kind arts. As a child, you are put into this art form because parents think it is cute, good exercise, and fun. This is one of the greatest facades I have ever known. Ballet is grueling, torturous hard work that is generally unforgiving, aesthetically-elitist, and selfish. Those that are lucky enough to enter the professional ballet world learn very quickly if they were chosen by it. I've seen many magnificently talented dancers quit during their first few years with a company due to injury, poor coping skills, burnout, or unhappiness with casting. These people weren't the chosen ones. Those that are chosen will suffer through less than ideal circumstances for three reasons; to defeat adversity, to savor those rare moments when ballet does give back, and because they need to dance. When I suffered my injury nearly two years ago and was unfairly let go from my company job, there was no question that I needed to dance. It was only a matter of how. At the time, my only option was freelancing.

This costume wasn't a highlight of my freelancing career

While ballet can be challenging, freelancing (on it's own) can be equally unforgiving. Put the two together and, at times, this avenue to dance can be wearing. While I have had some lovely experiences freelancing, I have also seen a darker side of our art. The term starving artist must have been borne alongside the term freelance artist. While I have been lucky enough to sustain myself over the past 2 1/2 years on dancing and teaching, most freelance dancers I know survive on hours of work doing non-dance jobs. This takes away from time they could be investing in the studio and it takes away from their energy levels to perform well. My savings account has dwindled well below my comfort zone. And I am beginning to feel the pressure of this lifestyle; keeping myself in shape and motivated, never-ending work searches, neglecting body maintenance, and monetary distress. Conditions, non-professional work, salary, self-negotiating, inconsistent work, and more make the emotional challenges of freelancing overwhelming at a certain point. These things are most likely the reasons that most of my high-level freelancing friends take big breaks from the lifestyle, as well. I do think my time for an extended break has come.

With all of this negative, also comes the positive. I have never felt freer artistically since I started traveling on my own. The good jobs that I get are usually quite professional, where those in charge understand the professionalism that goes along with my credentials. These lead to trusting relationships, where I have been able to have more say in my product. I have seen parts of the world I wouldn't have seen otherwise. And for every 5 to 10 jobs that pay poorly, there is usually 1 or 2 that make you feel like a celebrity. But all in all, it is the people that you meet along the way that make it worthwhile. And the privilege to see that there are amazing dance artists everywhere has been eye-opening; in every company and in every project that I have been a part of. Lastly, it is really gratifying to know that I can make a dance career happen on my own. No company, agent, or individual to take credit, except myself.

So, I guess the big question is what is next? Well, the big plan was this. I was very inspired by the audition process for Chris Wheeldon's American in Paris. I would love to explore the world of musical theatre and Broadway, as I feel that joining that world would be coming full circle with my training. When I was a teenager, Riz-Biz Productions founder and former A Chorus Line dancer, Bob Rizzo, took me under his wing.  Everybody and their mother told me to stop dreaming about ballet and go into musical theatre. They told me this because I was known for my personality onstage and clearly behind in my ballet technique. The only issue with this is that I didn't have proper vocal training and I had fallen in love with ballet. So, included in my plan is a period of vocal training and, maybe even, some acting lessons.

This was my original plan. Im in khakis on the right. West Side Story Suite by Jerome Robbins (Photo: Angela Sterling)

This was the plan until I went down to Los Angeles to dance with Barak Ballet. I've been pulled into conversations a lot lately about my ballet career. If I start to focus on Broadway, does that mean that it could be the beginning of the end of my ballet career? Not necessarily. But when three established people in the dance world; a respected dance critic, a former Balanchine ballerina and Balanchine Trust repetiteur, and well-respected teacher, pull you aside during the same week and tell you that you need to go back into a ballet company, you can't help but think that the universe is trying to tell you something. And even worse, or better, it was echoing a little voice that has been screaming for attention in the back of my head for quite a while now. I miss dancing for a ballet company. I miss being in constant preparation for a production. I miss coming to company class everyday with my colleagues and a live pianist. I miss a regular community. I miss having a live orchestra. I miss a lot of that life.

So what happens with my freelancing? Well, until I figure all of this out, I will continue freelancing. My plan is to start slowing my traveling down over the first six months of the new year. I'm currently searching for teaching work to reestablish my savings account. Eventually, I hope to only take work that I really, really, really want to do. As this happens, I plan on beginning work for both of my plans. I will work towards both to see which seems like a more viable option. My end goal is to either join a ballet company or be auditioning for shows in New York City by September.

My end goal

Does this mean that this is the end of Life of a Freelance Dancer? Absolutely not! One thing I do know, it was a difficult challenge to learn how to freelance. And now that I know the ropes of this segment of the dance world, it will always be a part of my career. I never said that I was going to stop freelancing. I just desperately need to find home, stability, and lower my stress level. Even if I have periods where I am not freelancing or do join a company again, I will continue to write about my experiences and educate future freelancers on the intricacies of this world. And the best thing about a blog like this is that it is not confined to one area of our community. Anybody can be a freelancer at any point, whether they are in a company, doing a long term gig, or freelancing full-time. Thank you to all of my readers for your continued support. I look forward to many years of advice, enlightenment, and experiences. And thank you for letting me share my true, honest experiences with all of you!

Freelancing isn't all glory

Nearly every person that I speak to about my freelancing career usually responds with "You're life is so exciting!" I wouldn't necessarily disagree, but at times it is also exciting in a less than glorious way. I have been freelancing for about a year now and part of that time I was relying on regular, seasonal work with a company in Philadelphia. It was only at the beginning of April when I was forcibly placed into the role of full-time freelance dancer. I am not stating this to take away from the depth of knowledge that I do have about this field. While I am experienced, I am also continuing to have new experiences and learning about specific challenges that freelancers face. Unfortunately, freelancing is a lot of "you live, you learn." In the process of learning, it may present challenges to see how industrious and strong a person you are.

I know that this post is much darker than other writings on this blog, but there are certain realities that freelancers or those that wish to become one need to be aware of. Yes, I get to travel the world to dance. Yes, I get to follow my passion. Yes, I am my own boss. But there is also a harsher side of freelancing. First and foremost, pick-up dancers are not governed by a union that negotiates their contracts for them. Instead, it is the dancer's responsibility to make sure that all of their needs are met and put down in writing before committing to a gig. Unfortunately, most dancers don't realize exactly what this means until they have an experience that brings one of these needs to their attention. A majority of the time these issues relate to environment or transportation, but it can also relate to commitment and pay. Just read this article about the poor state of financial appreciation/respect for dance artists. When negotiating a contract, some employers will low-ball a dancer's pay. They may not be doing this to disrespect a dancer, but instead to preserve the financial well-being of the company. At the same time, it can be impossible for a dancer to meet their monthly needs at $400-$500/week. This can make it difficult to commit to work. Dancers want to be working and there is always the question of whether a dancer will be able to find better work during that period. So, negotiations need to take place. A dancer who is in demand may find that they are negotiating multiple contracts at once, which makes it easier to make little mistakes or miss a clause that is important. And being a young individual negotiating with the person who will presumably become your employer can be quite uncomfortable. Learning how to effectively negotiate salary is important for a freelancer. It is an art and it is a different process with each potential employer. A dancer doesn't want to appear selfish and egotistical. But at the same time, why shouldn't a dancer have the ability to pay their bills or put a little bit of money in their savings account? This is, in my opinion, one of the hardest parts of being a freelance dancer.

Another aspect of freelancing that presents a great challenge is covering your bills when you are not dancing for an employer. You can read about different things I do to survive in my previous blog, Summer Slow-down. Even though there are a lot of great ideas there, dancers can still encounter certain challenges in making ends meet. I am one of those dancers that prefers to find work that helps enrich my dance career, instead of seeking part-time work outside of my field. When I am not dancing, I am usually able to find work teaching master classes (I am lucky enough to be well connected in the Philadelphia region since I was raised in the suburbs). I have also obtained work at national competitions and performing minor gigs. Since I choose not to get a job outside of my field and my weekly offerings change, I don't necessarily have a great way to gauge exactly what my monthly income will be. Also, these teaching/judging/gigs don't typically work on contract. I recently had an issue where I committed my workday to teach for an organization and spent hours creating new choreography for them (I even paid for music for the event). I was given 36 hours notice that the event was cancelled. Not only was I out on the salary that I was expecting, but there was not enough time to find new work to replace lost income. This isn't a frequent occurrence, but freelancers need to be efficient about spending and saving their money for times like this. It is difficult to hold somebody accountable for issues like this, as most of this type of work is done off contract. But now you can see how important it is to negotiate work that will leave you a certain amount of savings.

Lastly, freelancers have to figure out how to deal with injury. One of the scariest parts of freelancing is that many dancers can't afford health coverage. You can read further about this and find important information about how to seek coverage, if you can afford it, here. I am lucky enough that I have been able to maintain my health insurance to this point. But even with health coverage, injuries can present great problems. One of the most difficult aspects of dancing is knowing when an injury is going to take you out. Obviously, if there is a major fracture involved (knock on wood), you are not going to be able to dance. But most dancer's injuries occur from overuse or include various levels of sprains. These injuries can sometimes be pushed through. Other times, they can be pushed through to a degree, but may eventually do more serious or permanent damage. So, first a dancer needs to know their limits and determine when it is acceptable to continue working. Freelancers have a tendency to work through injuries more than regularly contracted dancers. Not only because they tend to be more aggressive and strong minded, but also because they often have no choice. "Do I pay my rent this month or do I end up back at home or living couch to couch with friends?" This is one of the hardest and scariest aspects of freelancing. If you have a great support system from your parents, the freelancing life can be simple to navigate. But if you are on your own or far away from home, there will be times that challenge your strength as a dancer and person.

There are other aspects of freelancing that are not as glorious as they seem, but negotiating work, making ends meet during off-times, and dealing with injuries are three of the harshest realities of this lifestyle. There are ways to work with each of these, but a dancer must be aware of the challenges that lay ahead of them when they choose this path. My upcoming blogs will bring "Life of a Freelance Dancer" back to more positive posts. My feelings, though, are that this blog should share every aspect of freelancing and, unfortunately, it isn't all glory.

Summer slow-down

Summer in Tel Aviv

The dance world functions kind of like our nation's school systems. Classes and seasons tend to start around Labor day. Seasons end and schools close around the beginning of June. For those that are looking for added enrichment or are a little behind, summer school is in order. In the ballet world, summer programs are great ways to get exposure and test out a company's school. Since these intensives bring in larger masses of students than the school year, most companies don't rehearse or perform during the summer months. And who wants to sit inside a dark, cool theatre when the sun is out and you could be away on vacation? For these reason, it can be very difficult to find dance work during the summer.

There is the occasional performance opportunity during the summer, but they are rare and usually comprise of companies going to festivals or international shows. For that reason, many freelance dancers look for other work during the summertime. This can be a positive thing, as it gives the body a rest and it gives dancers a chance to enrich other parts of themselves, dance related or not. So, what job should a freelancer search for when they are off for the summer, but still need to make a living?

The first job that comes to mind is one that will help build experience in a field that many dancers choose to enter once they retire. Teaching dance is a great outlet for dancers when they aren't dancing full-time. You get to give back to your students and you can even learn a lot about yourself as a dancer. The tricky part about teaching at summer intensives is that these programs often start hiring their roster of teachers back in January and February. So, you have to be willing to commit to not dancing before you may know if you have a possible dance job lined up. For instance, I was expecting to be dancing this summer, but my plans changed dramatically in April. So, when I started seeking summer work,  most summer programs had already booked their faculty. I sent out many emails, but am having to search in other places to make ends meet at the moment. But if you are able to obtain one of these summer teaching jobs, it may help keep you going for a month or two or maybe even help you take a vacation.

Another option for the earlier part of the summer is to apply to judge at national competitions or teach at their conventions. Most of these competitions continue through mid-July, so there won't be many options beyond that time frame. I have not judged for any competitions, but I do have friends that have sat on these panels. The days can be long and tedious and the talent can cover a wide range. But competitions pay well and the chance to spot young talent before it gets noticed on a larger scale can be a great reward. As for teaching, you need to have the ability to remain fluid and open to things. Most convention classes are not your typical 10-30 student classes. They are often held in hotel ballrooms with well over 100 students trying to learn a combination. As long as you keep an open mind and are comfortable teaching on a grand scale, this could be a very valuable option.

Many of my friends make ends meet by getting a part-time job in a non-dance related field. There are a few ways to make good money, like waiting tables or bartending. But I would suggest staying away from these options if you are planning on dancing and remaining physically active at the same time. Of course, you do what you have to do. But my suggestion is to find a job that doesn't require you to be on your feet for hours on end or that keeps you up into the early hours of the morning. Try to find something you are passionate about while still making enough to survive. A friend of mine was very passionate about baking and was able to get a job at a pastry shop. If you want to stay in the dance community, look into working at the local dance shop. Not only will you get paid, but you might be able to grow a relationship beyond your time working there and get discounts on your dance clothes and shoes in the future. Maybe even consider getting a job at your local gym. You can make money and, at the same time, save money that would typically be spent on your membership. In the end, try to be open-minded and don't talk yourself out of applying for a job that you are really interested in doing. My former colleague, Kari Brunson, took a summer lay-off to explore her passion and eventually became a full-time chef and started her own Juicing Business.

Photo by Brian Mengini

Now that you've taken time to consider money-making ventures, consider doing other things that you have been putting off while you were dancing full-time. I had been speaking with Brian Mengini, Philadelphia area dance photographer, for nearly a year trying to set up a photo shoot. Brian is having an event, Barre Boys Turns 2, where he will be displaying nearly 30 photos that he has taken of male ballet dancers from New York City Ballet, to San Francisco Ballet, to the Mariinsky. Last week, I was finally able to work out a shoot with Brian where we ended up with this fantastic shot for the event. I will also be speaking on a panel about being a male dancer at the event. I have also been able to use some of my free time to assist my partner with his new business. Spaces Transformed is a professional organizing business. Dan goes into people's homes and offices to assist with organizing and helps develop systems to maintain that organization. Although my partner has done a great job starting his company, he is not as proficient at social media and internet marketing as I am. So, to help out, I have taken over some of the social media and website marketing work. Not only am I helping out somebody that I love, but I am getting some great experience that I may be able to use when I have finished my dance career.

When temperatures get hotter outside and people are running to the beaches, freelance dancers have to raise the heat in areas beyond their performing careers. There are many possibilities for work, from career building opportunities to life enrichment beyond dance. Performance work slows down during the summertime, but that doesn't mean that you have to go broke. Be smart, put yourself out there, and take advantage of the break from performing.