The Principal Problem

Don't get me wrong, I love Principal dancers - one of my favorites - Carrie Imler in Apollo (Photo: Angela Sterling)

I was making over $60,000 a year, dancing world-famous ballets with a world-class orchestra, and surrounded by exceptional dancers most of my waking hours. Why oh why would I ever pack my bags and leave the Pacific Northwest Ballet? I am not posting this to dwell on regrets from my past. In fact, I don't regret leaving Seattle at all. But what led me to feel stagnant and unhappy, eventually seeking to leave this life? It was highly unlikely that I was ever going to be promoted beyond the senior Corps de Ballet position that I held, even though I often performed principal and soloist roles.  And while this wasn't a bad position to be in, it isn't uncommon for the ballet world to overlook dancers that are in the same position.

It is nearly every ballet student's dream to join one of the big, prestigious companies in the country. Very few get the opportunity to experience such a thing. Once a dancer joins one of these companies, their trajectory either speeds forward, as is common to big-company-bound dancers during their training years, or slows down fiercely. This meteoric rise only happens to about 5% of the dancers that enter a large company, if that. If you aren't one of those dancers that we have all heard glamorized stories about, then you are likely to experience a slow crawl to the top or a slow realization that there will eventually be a ceiling.

Even dancers that are chosen by an artistic director to have a limited trajectory can enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, periodic plum roles, and less pressure than those at the top. What in this could be so bad that a dancer feels the need to jump ship? Aside from limited chances to gain experience in this short career, it is what I call the "Principal Problem" that causes lower ranked dancers to move on from cushy company positions. And in no way do I say this to defame any dancers at this rank. I have the utmost respect for Principals and call many my friends. In fact, it has nothing to do with Principal dancers and everything to do with people's perception of artists who are not top ranked.

Principal dancers are the face of dance organizations. They perform leading roles that the audience falls in love with, their faces are all over marketing materials, and they are most likely to share their story while being interviewed for press. Why wouldn't a dancer want to hold this position? When a company wants to woo new donors, it isn't uncommon to have a principal dancer around to sweeten the pot. Most likely, these dancers have earned their positions, and, sometimes, they fall upon luck and timing to push forth. Either way, their status earns them public accolades and respect. All of a sudden, distant audiences, directors, coaches, teachers, administrators, and board members unrelated to the organization begin to think that these superhuman dancers have other marketable super powers. From there on out, as is often said, "it is all in the name."

Where am I going with this? Let's start here. Looking back at the last ten or so years, how many Principal dancers with the top 6 U.S. companies have been hired as Artistic Directors to take over medium to large sized ballet companies?

Vladimir Malakhov - Staatsballett Berlin - former Principal ABT
Nikolaj Hubbe - Royal Danish Ballet - former Principal NYCB
Peter Boal - Pacific Northwest Ballet - former Principal NYCB
Ethan Stiefel - Royal New Zealand Ballet - former Principal ABT
Ashley Wheater - Joffrey Ballet - former Principal SFB (among others)
Christopher Stowell - former Oregon Ballet Theatre - former Principal SFB
Angel Corella - Corella/Barcelona Ballet - former Principal ABT
Gil Boggs - Colorado Ballet - former Principal ABT
Benjamin Millipied - Paris Opera Ballet - former Principal NYCB
Jose Manuel Carreno - Ballet San Jose - former Principal ABT
Mikko Nissinen - Boston Ballet - former Principal SFB (among others)

Take a peek at this short list of newer artistic directors and it is clear to see that many recent company appointments are male and former principal dancers with American Ballet Theatre, New York City Ballet, or San Francisco Ballet. Looking beyond this list to most of the other ballet companies across the U.S., it is clear to see that most directors were Principal dancers with these companies as well (a handful were leading old-school Joffrey dancers, but the company is unranked). Who is missing from this list? Female principal dancers and lesser ranked dancers. Let's look into this.

The only female directors of mid to large sized U.S. ballet companies are Lourdes Lopez of Miami City Ballet (former Principal NYCB), Victoria Morgan of Cincinnati Ballet (former Principal SFB), Patricia Barker of Grand Rapids Ballet (former Principal PNB), and Colleen Neary who is co-director of Los Angeles Ballet (former Principal PNB). It is almost impossible to find any director of a company that has only held the rank of Soloist or Corps de Ballet with one of the top six companies, let alone smaller sized companies. Stanton Welch of Houston Ballet and, recently hired, Edwaard Liang of Ballet Met are among the only state-side directors that didn't reach the rank of Principal in their respective companies (both obtaining the rank of Soloist). They were likely scouted for their choreographic achievements beyond their rank. There are a few other female and non-former principal dancers that are Artistic Directors across the country, but most are not in what I would consider a medium to large sized company.

Looking at this information, it would appear that it is practically impossible to become an Artistic Director without a large company, Principal credential attached to your name. Beyond that, if you look at company artistic staff or directors of respected schools with professional training programs, a majority of these people were upper ranked (soloist or principal) dancers with major companies.

This is where this subject can get touchy. Does the rank of principal dancer automatically assume that this person will make a great director? Although one achieves this status, does it mean that they must be a fantastic teacher? Do public accolades for a performance in a role automatically mean that a dancer will be a great vessel to continue the life of a work? No. But it seems to be quite accurate that Principal dancers have the greatest number of options to continue in the professional dance world beyond their performing careers, solely on their name.

Another favorite Principal, Maria Chapman - Chair of Second Stage

Is this right or fair? It is impossible to give a yes or no answer to this question, as it is purely opinion. As I noticed during my time taking college courses through PNB's Second Stage program, a greater number of students taking these classes were lower ranked dancers. I took a handful of business and marketing courses on my path to getting my AA degree from Seattle Central Community College. More often than not, dancers with a faster career trajectory have great facility and natural ability. I have seen a handful of these dancers who don't have to think about certain steps because they come so naturally. Principal dancers don't usually spend as much time communicating within a corps of dancers; discussing unison, helping others pick up choreography, or learning how to stand up in a
community atmosphere without appearing to be an asshole. Having post-secondary education, exploring how to properly execute a step that doesn't initially work on one's own body, and learning how to communicate are integral skills in being successful at these hard-to-get dance careers. It may be true that a lower ranked dancer has refined these skills, yet a Principal is more likely to be singled out as a candidate with these qualities.

All of the above leads me to believe that hiring committees and administrations are likely falling in love with the future leaders of the dance world for their dancing and names prior to evaluating their skill set. For this reason alone, it is no wonder that lower ranked dancers start to get antsy when they feel that their progress is being stunted by one director with one opinion. Effectually, these search committees are hoping that these Principal dancers naturally have the tools to run a company or are assuming that they can hone their skills at lightening speed.  Lower ranked dancers have been switching companies for years, trying to find a place that will raise their profile, gain them the greatest experience, and potentially launch a renowned career that gives them a name.

There has been buzz in recent press about leading dancers, even, having less commitment to old-style company life. In my opinion, it is becoming especially hard for dancers to make a name for themselves staying in one place and they recognize this. Directors tend to fall in love with one dancer, a la Balanchine and Farrell, and all of the other dancers become secondary. Due to this, leading dancers are jumping ship to find the best way to gain the greatest reputation in a short five to twenty years. If this is achieved, a dancer can appropriately have a dance career, performance and non-performance, that lasts as long as any regular non-dance career.

While most dancers start training at a young age, the actual length of their time connected to dance can be short lived. In the end, it is up to each individual dancer to take their career into their own hands. If a dancer needs to move elsewhere to achieve the alias "Principal Dancer," many, like me, will leave behind somewhat gratifying and comfortable positions in companies. Aside from the desire to perform great roles and gain as much experience as possible in such a short career, this is the principal reason that I believe dancers burn out and have less commitment to companies today than ever.

Do you agree with this view? Share your opinion in the comments section.

In the spirit of the holidays - Part 2 (12 of my favorite moments)

Smedley St in south Philly

For the second installation of my In the spirit of the holidays blog series, I will be sharing a collection inspired by the 12 Day of Christmas. In the spirit of this holiday, I am offering up 12 of my favorite moments while freelancing this year. I'm not really sure why there are 12 days of Christmas in the song (they never taught that in Hebrew school), but what the hell! Here we go!

Rehearsing Othello with PNB soloist Lindsi Dec

1. Dancing Cassio's solo/duet with Iago in Alaska Dance Theatre's Othello. Beyond the fact that Gillmer Duran created this piece on former OBT principal Artur Sultanov and me, he asked for a lot of personal input, making this creation a meaningful collaboration. I've been known to dive into a character, but I have rarely been given the opportunity to portray a character dealing with great internal struggle. Everytime I left the stage at the end of this solo/duet, I felt like I had walked offstage not as an image of Shakespeare's character, but as Cassio himself.

2. Having the opportunity to dance as a principal guest artist with Rochester City Ballet in Leverett's The Nutcracker. I have danced the grand pas de deux in The Nutcracker multiple times with schools as a guest artist, but never with a professional company. Throughout my career, I sat in the wings in my Spanish, Russian, Chinese, and Marzipan costumes watching other dancers who had the opportunity to perform along with live orchestra to this iconic piece of music with balconies of theatre-goers falling into the holiday spirit. This was my first time performing the grand pas while leading a company of professionals. On top of that, I got to reconnect with an old friend, Jessie Tretter, whom I had met nearly ten years ago when I was an apprentice with Houston Ballet and she was in the academy. All-around an incredible experience!

3. Being accepted into people's homes as if I was a part of their family. Two of my favorite experiences this year happened far away from home. Anchorage first, then Providence. I had many great host family experiences this year, but these two topped the cake. I was nervous to spend 5 weeks in Anchorage, let alone in a strangers house. This was my first time spending more than a week or so in somebody's space. My Alaska host's were kind, generous, and, most importantly, spatially aware. They gave me a warm home, great conversation, and plenty of space to feel like I had my privacy. My Providence host family didn't know it, but they came into my life just when I needed them. I had recently experienced a great loss and was desperately in need of support and a nurturing environment. We spent so many hours sitting around the kitchen sharing stories, debating topics, and just being familial. My host mother was an amazing chef, my host father was such a gentle spirit, and my host sister was too witty to pass up on a conversation. Her adopted big brother is proud of her progress at the Joffrey Ballet's trainee program since her graduation weeks after I left.

Driving down the streets of Anchorage

4. Moose, glaciers, and 140 inches of snow (all-time record breaking snow). Freelancing brought me many places this past year. I left PNB in part because I wanted to see more of the world while performing. I haven't made it anywhere international quite yet, but getting to dance in Alaska was like visiting another country. I think I took nearly 1,000 photos during my 5 weeks in the last great frontier. When I tell people I went to Alaska in January, most people cringe. My words…Don't knock it til you try it! I had such an amazing experience in Alaska. Yes, the sun was out for about 5 hours, but by the time I left, it was out for nearly 8 hours. Yes, it was -15 degrees the first day I arrived, but other days it was nearly 40. Beyond the dancing, Alaska was just an all-around warm experience!

5. Getting to visit NYC dozens of times. I was raised in the suburbs of Philadelphia. By the time I was 15, I was taking the train to NYC regularly to take classes. By the time I was 18, I was living and training at the School of American Ballet. Once I moved to Houston, then even further to Seattle, my love affair with New York was put on hold. After a year or two in Seattle, I started to miss NYC more than you could imagine. Not only did I miss the city and it's energy, but I missed the connections and the feeling of community in the dance scene. Now that I am living in Philly again (in the city this time), I can easily decide on Friday that I want to go into the city on Saturday, buy a cheap bus ticket, and make a spontaneous trip to my second home.

My first time at the Boston Opera House

6. Getting to see Boston Ballet and the National Ballet of Canada for the first time. I am not the kind of person to arrive in a new place and sit on my ass. If you bring me to Paris, Im gonna go see London, too. I have always wanted to see both of these companies perform live. I have seen the dancers of Boston Ballet, as I took company class there and was offered a contract to dance with Boston Ballet 2 (I took a corps contract with PNB instead). Surprisingly, I never got to see the company dance. My friend, James Whiteside (former BB principal, current ABT soloist, and JBdubs by night) was able to get me tickets to see the company perform in Don Quixote. Since I was only an hour train ride away in Providence, I was able to see the company dance. It was a very special performance for me, as Misa Kuranaga and Jeffrey Cirio danced the leads. Misa was my partner in our workshop performance at the School of American Ballet (I hadn't seen her dance live since) and Jeffrey is the brother of my friend, BB principal, and LOFD guest blogger, Lia Cirio (he was also promoted backstage to principal at the conclusion of this performance). I also got to see many friends that I have trained and danced with over the years perform. As for NBOC, the company has always had an air of mystery to me. You always hear about how amazing the company is, but most people I know have never seen these foreigners dancers. While dancing with Rochester City Ballet, Jessie was able to get free passes for us to see a dress rehearsal of Christopher Wheeldon's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Not only have I been dying to see the company, but I have also been dying to see this production. We barely made it to the show in time, but after a 4-hour jaunt across the border we got to see this luxurious production. The company definitely lived up to its' expectations and the production was amazing. I also got to reconnect with another old friend from my time in Houston Ballet, Mcgee Maddox (currently a first soloist with the company).

7. Throwing my networking event for freelancers, Contact. I am relatively new to freelancing, only having entered this world full-time back in April. I have learned a lot quickly and grown my network just as quick. One thing I realized as I started getting in the flow of this blog was that people were starting to look up to me for my knowledge, experience, and clout. After I recognized this, I decided that I wanted to do something about it. Along with my good friend, Bennyroyce Royon, we were able to put together an extremely successful event, in two weeks no less.

Dan at Niagara Falls on our day trip from Rochester

8. Getting to bring my partner along with me to share in my new experiences. My partner, Dan, and I have been together for quite some time (it will be 7 years come January). He has been so amazingly supportive of my career since we got together. So much that he quit his job, picked up our life, and moved across the country for it. Little did we expect that moving across the country would eventually mean that I wouldn't always be working in one place. But still he has been beyond supportive the entire time. One of the best parts about me traveling so much is that I often take him along with me for some time. He came for a handful of days to Anchorage, Providence, and Rochester. So, not only do I get to see the world, but I get to bring him along for the ride, as well.

9. Dancing the La Esmeralda and Le Corsaire pas de deux in a gala. I hadn't performed a classical pas de deux onstage since 2006 when Mara Vinson (former PNB principal) and I danced the Don Quixote pas de deux in First State Ballet Theatre's Arabesque Festival gala. While dancing at PNB, my rep of leading roles mostly consisted of contemporary works. By the time I had left, I truly believed that I couldn't perform a classical pas de deux well (variations included). Well, I proved myself wrong with these performances. Now, when approached with classical work, I gladly say sure, instead of doubting myself with a demure yes.

10. Connecting with, sharing, and collaborating with amazing artists. One of the reasons I left PNB was because I felt greatly isolated from the dance world. There were great artists in the company and a few in the dance scene, but there was also a level of social climbing and social class in the small network of dancers. Beyond my event, moving to Philly and being in NYC a lot have given me great opportunities to network. The dancers are more open to wildly intriguing (sometimes bordering on nuts) possibilities. But beyond the dancers of the mid-atlantic/northeastern dance scene, those that I met at my gigs really inspired me to think in the box, out of the box, and wherever that next step is outside of that out of the box.

My very first partner, Katie Moorhead & I reconnecting at Contact

11. On the flip side from #10, reconnecting with so many old friends. Not only did I get to dance with an old friend from Houston in my travels, but I reconnected with so many more along the way. From people that I trained with to my first dance partner to teachers and people that I lived with in a dormitory, I can't even count the number of people with whom I have had the chance to reconnect. This right here has been more valuable than most of the experiences I have had in my career.

12. Creating this blog. I used to blog when I was a member of Myspace. I was in my early 20's and experiencing a lot of new things in life. I guess you could say I was a little dramatic. Well, I blogged openly about whatever I was feeling. I got a lot of criticism for it, but over a year or so I wrote over 400 blogs and had about 20,000 views. I have been meaning to start a blog again ever since Myspace exploded with spam and I quit the network, but I couldn't find the inspiration. Finally, I found something that inspires me enough to write about regularly. Since I started this blog in my Providence host family's window seat in April, it has received nearly 7,500 views, been shared by another publication, gotten me work, and inspired me to move this resource from the internet to a public place where freelancers can connect with one another.

With that said, I would like to wish each and every one of you a wonderful holiday season. And thank you to all of you who regularly read my blog! This blog is my pride and joy and I can't wait to continue writing for you in the coming year! Cheers! L'chaim!

The importance of your freelancing friends

The best quality that a freelancer can bestow is great networking/social skills. Most of the work that our type of artist obtains is based purely on an outgoing, friendly, and trustworthy personality. Even though dancers rarely speak onstage, this career is, perhaps, more social than most others. Freelance dancers need to be engaging in order to woo employers, as well as friends. If a dancer is more of a loner and less friendly, they will be much less likely to survive in this field. Not only are my freelancing friends very important to me on the basic premises of friendship, but they are also very important in helping me find and obtain work.

When I spent my first summer away from home at the age of 16 with Houston Ballet Academy at their annual summer intensive, I made it a point to learn the first and last name of every dancer living in the dorms and in my classes. I continued this practice at every program I attended. At the time, I thought I was just being friendly. But what I was really doing was fine tuning my networking skills. Who knew where each young hopeful's career would lead them? And who knows how valuable a friendship in this career can be for you, personally or professionally. While many of these dancers eventually left their pursuit of a ballet career to pursue other interests, a small contingent of us moved on to become high-quality performance artists. The connections that I've made all the way back to my first summer program experience through to my career as a big company dancer to my foray into freelancing have been the most valuable aspect of this harsh life of a freelance dancer.

Performing in a gig Matthew got me (Photo: Dmitri Popadakov)

When I was traveling around the country seeking a job after choosing to leave the prestige of PNB, I met a man by the name of Matthew Prescott (Matthew was recently featured in this Pointe Magazine article speaking about freelancing). Matthew started his career with the Joffrey, but eventually transitioned into full-time freelancing. He was freelancing with the company that I was auditioning for at the time. I was auditioning in a warm-up class prior to a performance onstage. We got to chatting and he told me about his lifestyle as a freelancer. Not knowing whether I would eventually be offered a contract from any of the companies I was auditioning for, I asked Matthew if he could give me some pointers about getting freelance work. After that audition, we became friends on Facebook. Ever since, Matthew has been a great source of assistance for me.

After I had taken a seasonal contract with that same company, Matthew was the first person to email me with information about a gig. He had worked with this person before, but was unavailable during the dates that the employer needed him to dance. I felt honored and nervous. My freelance career had begun. Over time, I have come to learn the importance of sharing work with your freelancing friends. Matthew was the first person to show me this and I feel it was a very valuable lesson.

Finding work can be challenging, especially considering that most opportunities are offered to dancers that already have a close relationship with a company or school. It can be expensive for both a company/school or dancer to audition, especially if it is only for a short term contract. Often, companies want to go with a dancer they already know is of quality, respectable, and easy to work with. When the chosen dancer isn't available, a company is highly likely to go with someone suggested by the dancer who wasn't available. For this reason, maintaining relationships with your freelancing network is of great importance. And not only should we nomadic dancers accept work from friends, we should reciprocate the favor. This "you pat my back, I'll pat yours" culture is integral to the survival of many dance artists.

Another reason that freelancing friends are so important is for the support system they can offer. Not only can they help you get work, but they can help you with the many obstacles this career can throw at you. Am I asking for too much money? Is it appropriate to ask for transportation to be provided? This situation seems unprofessional and unsafe. Am I overreacting? These are a few questions that friends who have "already been through it" have helped me answer. Beyond that, these friends can also be a great source of moral support.

Me, Jen Goodman, and Joel Prouty performing "It Makes Me Nervous" by Avi Scher (Photo: Matthew Murphy)

Something I have been generally quiet about is that I went through a particularly tough period this summer. I was expecting to be working all summer when my situation changed quickly. I was forced to scramble for work in a short period of time and this put me in a few precarious positions in order to make ends meet. When I was feeling particularly down, I reached out to a friend that I met while dancing with Avi Scher and Dancers in the Guggenheim's "Works and Process" program (See blog here). Jennifer Goodman was a long-time Joffrey dancer that took up freelancing after new artistic director Ashley Wheater took over the company. Jen offered me this great advice about freelancing that really lifted my spirits and helped me make sense of what I was going through. "I had to let go of my usual comfort zone and wanting to know and control things and just go with the flow." When you are short on work or have little lined up, emotions bubble to the surface. Jen helped me put things into perspective. Within weeks of receiving this uplifting email, I went from having little work lined up to being generally booked for the next seven months with projects that I am excited to be a part of. It just goes to show how manic this freelancing career can be and how your emotions/self-worth can quickly change suit based on your current situation. During this time, many more of my freelancing friends were great sources of support. Honestly, comfort from those who have been through what you are going through is more comforting than most support that loved one's can offer.

Freelancing can be as rewarding as it is challenging. It definitely isn't for everyone. It requires patience, emotional strength, steely nerves, and, of course, boatloads of talent. In full-time companies, you have your coworkers in the same room with you to rely on for support every day. As a freelance dancer, you're freelancing friends, while not always close in distance, become your coworkers and support system. With that, I will leave you with just one more piece of advice Jen gave me. "Embrace the unknown, go with the flow, take in every new experience good or bad, and trust that all this is happening for a reason and aligned with your life path."

(Stay tuned for a guest blog post by Jen Goodman)