I'm a Modern Day Gypsy

Typical moment in the life of a Modern Day Gypsy

Nearly two weeks ago, about an hour after midnight, I laid my head to rest at my Washington Heights sublet. It was snowing again, which wasn’t shocking considering the timing of my past four Bolt Bus trips back home to Philadelphia and how they each coincided with some type of snow event. When I left the apartment scurrying amongst flurries the next morning, I knew that had been my last night in this ultra-Spanish neighborhood that was the inspiration for the Broadway musical, “In The Heights.” When I returned from Philly a week later, I’d be laying to rest on my friend’s couch in the refined gayborhood of Chelsea. After my fourth night there, I left this afternoon to embark on a weekend trip to Los Angeles to celebrate the life of my great friend and benefactor, Mimi Chiang. It may end, though, with me sleeping at the airport. My first flight was cancelled and my re-booked flight officially has me listed on standby. When I lay down to rest (hopefully tonight) in the Pacific Palisades, my mind may drift in and out of strategic problem solving to determine where I’ll stay when I return. Trying to find a short-term sublet in New York City is a difficult task. It’s been a stressful search, but I’ll just deal with it when I have a free moment. I know your first thought, “Gosh…I’d be utterly panicked right now!” Oh, I’m getting there. But a modern day gypsy must live for adventure.

Back when I first moved to Philadelphia in June of 2011, I met a peer and colleague whom I had known of since competing against him in the first two years of the international youth ballet competition, Youth America Grand Prix (circa 2000). Robert Colby Damon, or Colby, had been working as a freelance artist for a few years by that point. I knew, with my 22-week contract, that I’d have to endure a small amount of freelancing work. But I had no idea what I was truly in for. Colby and I used to talk about his couch-surfing habits and his fly by the seat of his pants housing situations. I probably sat talking to him, mouth agape, trying to comprehend how he lived like this. Little did I know, that I was about to fly through my own crash course in modern day gypsy-ism.

My First Gypsy Bed in NYC

I didn’t start off living this crazy, nationally-touring freelance lifestyle at such a fast clip. My first stay in somebody else’s home was in New York City for 3 weeks when I performed at the Guggenheim. It was nearly 3 months that I slept in my own bed after that. Then, I spent 5 weeks residing with a host family in Anchorage. Once I lost my contract with Ballet X, things picked up at an almost frenzied pace. 1 week on Long Island, 3 weeks in Providence, 1 week in New Hampshire. Dancing a summer gig in Philadelphia was a nice respite from what was about to come. Within 2 years, I would see Rochester twice, Myrtle Beach, Virginia, West Virginia, Louisiana, San Francisco (twice), Walnut Creek, Los Angeles (too many times to count), Anchorage (again and again), Indiana, and more and more and more. Aside from 5 months at home at the beginning of 2015, I haven’t stayed put for more than a few weeks for over 4 years.

My Washington Heights Sublet & My Weekly Packing Ritual

What does it feel like to travel as much as I do? It requires a certain sense of adventure and freedom from expectation. It necessitates one to go with the flow. Oddly enough, I find myself micromanaging my life when I return home to my apartment in Philadelphia. Likely because I finally feel like I can control my environment. When people meet me in gypsy-mode, they often comment that I am so laid back. Instead of plastering on this facade, I learned that it is just easier to submit to the uncertainty and confusion that can come from changing things up on the regular.

One thing that a lot of people wonder is how I cope with the irregularity of this lifestyle. Honestly, sometimes, I don’t. Sometimes, I ignore my own needs and keep pressing forth to create my art and pay my bills. This is a bad way to deal with things. And as I learned back in 2014, it can lead to severe, nearly-crippling burn out. What I have found that helps is to acclimate fast, find what comforts you absolutely require, and to stay connected with people in your life in order to maintain some semblance of normalcy.

Seen on my acclimation walk in Richmond, VA

To acclimate myself to a new situation, If time allows, I will always go for an extremely long walk (or drive if that is available) around the neighborhood that I am living in. Knowing where food, drink, and toiletry options are helps a lot. Do keep in mind that you will likely spend more money the first few days, as you won’t know what stores in neighborhoods provide the best deals. When I first began subletting in the Heights, I paid nearly $5 for one of my favorite snacks when the grocery store a block away sold it for $2 less. It’s essentially the equivalent to moving your entire apartment and adjusting to that new neighborhood, only every couple of days or weeks.

As for comforts, I know I’m a fully-grown man, but I travel and sleep with a little stuffed animal that my partner gave me as a gift the first year that I started traveling for work. I haven’t slept with a stuffed animal since I was a little kid. But the discomfort of sleeping somewhere foreign and having an empty bed makes this more comforting than you could imagine. Or in another case, if your morning routine requires coffee (like mine, and lots of it), if coffee isn’t readily available, buy some instant coffee. No matter how poor the quality of the brew, it will be comforting to know it is still somewhat within your control.

Lastly, be sure to keep communication lines open with friends and family. One of my biggest challenges, as my workload involves a great deal of in-studio and out of studio effort, is to make contact with those that I love and who love me back. Text messages don't always feel extremely personal. I like to use chat apps (like Facebook messenger), phone calls, or Facetime/Skype calls to have a full conversation versus broken apart text chats that may span days. I feel it is important for any gypsy to be surrounded by people they know beyond acquaintances on a regular basis, even if not in person. At times, I have felt like I was losing sense of who I was before I started freelancing. I used to have a group of friends and co-workers that would joke, tease, and laugh with (and sometimes at) me. Whether they were lovingly pointing out my flaws or supporting me in an unnecessary moment of distress, I always knew who I was as I saw my reflection in their attention. I lost this for some time as I became too focused on my work. So, be sure to note the factors that bring normalcy into your life and try to keep them with you on the fly.

Sometimes, I wish that I never knew what it felt like to be a gypsy. And part of the reason that I am residentially floating around New York City is to find a place to call my career-home. It’s both emotionally and physically exhausting. But at the same time, I find myself constantly peering back into history at my 15 year old self and imagining what he would think if somebody told him this would be his life one day. It’s fascinating and horrifying. Exciting and nerve-wracking. I don’t have long flowing garb or dangly earrings. I’m not quick-witted or sassy. I’m a 5’ 10’’ Jewish gay white boy who wears the same clothes that everybody else does. Yet, it wouldn’t be odd for you to see me pass you by with a carry-on sized piece of luggage dragging behind me. My name is Barry Kerollis and I am a modern day gypsy.

Living that Gypsy Life

Finding your comforts in a hotel

Unless you live and freelance only in New York City, a majority of the freelancing that dancers do takes them away from home. Sometimes, you will stay with a host family. At other times, like I am right now, you will be put in a hotel for weeks at a time. While staying in a hotel sounds fun, exotic, and vacation-like, it can leave you feeling quarantined from society and lonely. To fend off these feelings, I have compiled this list of things you can do to find your creature comforts and to feel like you are still an active part of society.

- Sitting in a hotel in a suburban location can become a redundant experience. It is easy to get stuck in boring patterns due to an inability to get around much on your own. Try changing up your routine. Eat out some days, eat in others. Call an old friend that you haven't talked to for a long time to reconnect. Take a bath. Use the pool or hot tub. Watch TV. Schedule a movie night and rent a pay-per-view movie. Interact with the hotel staff. Go for a walk. Try to get out of your mundane patterns and do something different every day.

I went for a short drive along Lake Ontario before rehearsal

- Staying at a hotel rarely allots you a stove or a microwave to prepare your own meals. This usually leads to one of the least comfortable situations for many people. Eating alone at a restaurant. When I first started writing this post, I was doing exactly this. I walked into the restaurant and the host insisted that I would probably enjoy (or...erm...feel more comfortable) eating at the bar. But I wanted to sit at a nice table in the main dining area...by myself. Then, when my server walked up to me, he stated, "you must be waiting for a pretty lady." He must have missed the memo, or multiple memos. Any newbie at eating alone might have felt embarrassed or extremely awkward in this situation, but after a few years on the road I am a pro at eating alone. Bring a book or newspaper. Bring your smart phone and catch up on social media or download a new game to play. Or, like me, bring a pen and paper to journal, log, blog, or anything else that you would like to document or write about. A nice glass of wine will help relax your discomfort, too. Or just sit back, breath, and take in the characters sitting around the restaurant having dinner. I always find great entertainment watching how locals interact with one another.

My items from home

- For me, one of the least comfortable things about staying in a hotel is the sterility and impersonal feeling that most rooms share. You don't have any personal home-y touches. You didn't decorate the room. What I always try to do is to bring a few things from home that make me feel like I am closer to home. It would weigh your luggage down if you carried your favorite piece of artwork. What I do is carry a very few lightweight items with me. I always bring one or two unframed 4x6 photos with me to decorate the room and remind me of loved ones. The pictures tend to get beat up a bit, but they still make me happy. I also have a stuffed sock monkey that my partner gave me as a gift. Yeah, I'll admit that I sleep with it. I haven't slept with a stuffed animal since I was 4 years old. But, only when I am traveling, I sleep with this stuffed creature.

- I always go on an extensive search for new music on ITunes in the days before departing for a gig. That way I have some new music to go along with my old music. I have an IPhone, which has a speaker loud enough for me to listen to music. But if you don't have a phone with these capabilities, consider buying cheap, portable speakers that connect either to your computer or MP3 device. I know I am late to the game, but I have also recently discovered the joys of Pandora. You can type in your favorite artist, song, or genre of music and it plays random songs, like a personalized radio station, for free. I feel music drowns out the stifling silence of sitting in a hotel room.

- One of my biggest issues when staying at a hotel is that I get lonely. After a long day at work, dancers often want to vegetate and rest their body and mind for the next day. It isn't uncommon for dancers to reject invitations to hang out. Sometimes, it is necessary to fight the urge to act like a hermit and enjoy some company. While an invitation from a co-worker may not always sound enticing at first, most of the time you end up enjoying yourself more than you would have staying by yourself in your room. Getting out and being around people will not only keep you company, but it will forge new friendships and relationships.

- You won't have the luxury of having a DVR to record and watch your favorite television shows when you are at a hotel. Sometimes, the wireless doesn't always work well enough to download video. In the worst of situations (for me at least), there is no internet. Always come prepared with a handful of your favorite DVD's. I always bring a few seasons of different TV series on DVD of my favorite shows; like American Dad, It's Always Sunny, and South Park. I like to take a relaxing bath for my muscles, pop a DVD in my computer, and have a good laugh.

- One of my biggest mental comforts is having access to a gym. The gym is an important part of my daily routine at home. What does one do if there is no gym at their hotel or affordable gym options nearby? This one is hard for me. I tend to associate my place of rest, whether it be my home or a room with a bed, with nothing other than that. I can tell myself that I will work out at some point, but it becomes very difficult once I sit down and start to relax. I find that when I wait until later in the day, this effect gets even worse. So, I have created a set of exercises that simulate what I would do in my regular gym workout. And while I despise them, I can do them all without any equipment that I use in my regular routine. I find if I do these exercises earlier in the day, prior to class or rehearsal, I am more likely to complete them. If I wait until afterwards, I do exactly what is supposed to be done in your bedroom. Rest.

- I always make sure to show up to a gig with a task to complete that doesn't have to be finished by the time I leave. You never know how much free time you will have and it is better to have a backup plan if you have no other options. For instance, my current task that I hope to complete during my time preparing and performing the Cavalier in The Nutcracker with Rochester City Ballet is to start compiling a list of ballet companies and Broadway shows that I find interesting. I have slowly been gathering information to help clarify the next step of my career. While I am lucky to have friends here from last year and a car to drive myself around, there are still times where I find myself pent up in my hotel room. This is one way to be proactive in my down-time and to occupy hours sitting in my room.

Glad to be back in the studio at RCB rehearsing with my Sugar Plum, Jessie Tretter

How to pack for short-term & long-term gigs

4 weeks worth of luggage at NY Penn Station

Im sitting at Philadelphia International airport in what is dubbed the "Philadelphia Marketplace," waiting for my very delayed flight to depart for New Hampshire. Out of all of the airports that I've traveled through, I would say that Philadelphia has a pretty nice array of options for eating, shopping, and lounging. Im sitting in a white rocking chair in the middle of a long hall of shops and eateries, recharging my ever-drained phone from periods of boredom on the train playing Words w/Friends, Scramble w/Friends, and Draw Something. As I rock back and forth, I have been trying to figure out the next topic that I should write about. For a moment, I thought to myself how impressed I was that I packed in only 10 minutes last night. I remember the first few times I traveled as a teenager. How it would take me hours to figure out what to pack and I would have all of my belongings zipped away in my suitcase more than a day before I left. All of that has changed over the years, mostly due to the immense amount of traveling I did living in Houston and Seattle. Although, today, I don't get as nervous about packing when I travel, I do get nervous when I have to pack for an extended period of time.

How does one pack when traveling long distances to perform? It is much easier to pack for a gig when you are only going to be there for a period of a week or less. When I am traveling somewhere for a short amount of time, like I am right now, I typically pack just one small carry on suitcase and my backpack. I try to keep my backpack light, as the last thing I want is to put undue stress on my back. I tend to save my backpack for entertainment (like laptop, books, magazines, Nintendo 3DS, etc.), snacks, electronics chargers, and any other important items (medicine, etc). If I am planning on checking my bag, which I rarely do (to save money), I will be sure to pack a pair of ballet slippers and a dance outfit in the event that my bag is delayed. Other than that, you don't need a variety of items to travel. I will usually pack about 3 outfits for daily wear. For dance, I will bring the same amount of outfits for ballet, but I will bring enough dance belts for each day that I will rehearse and perform. I usually ask my employer what my shoe requirements are for the program. Even if dance shoes are provided, I will always bring one extra pair beyond what I am given or asked to bring in the event that something goes wrong. I have had shoes develop holes faster than expected on different flooring. I, even, recently had the drawstrings of a shoe untie and suck up inside of it. A nearly impossible fix for any male dancer.  Always be prepared. Be sure to bring your stage make-up and any toiletries that you need. Since I don't usually check bags on short-term gigs, I use small leftover containers to put things like hair gel and facial creme in. This is to be sure that they are the regulatory 3 ounces or less and will pass through security. I also always bring at least one jacket or sweatshirt , even if the forecast calls for warm weather. The last thing you want is to be caught off guard when the weather surprisingly changes or if your host likes to keep the air conditioner on full blast.

The more difficult gigs to pack for are those that take you away from home for more than a week. The longest I have spent away from home while freelancing has been 5 weeks. Not only that, it was in Alaska….in the winter. I remember being absolutely mortified about packing for this experience. Although I didn't start packing days in advance, it definitely took me a lot longer than 10 minutes to pack.

It is important to ask if you will have access to a washer and dryer prior to arriving at your destination. This may change your packing strategy. Obviously, you need to pack according to the season and climate of the area that you'll be staying. My first suggestion is to pull out all of the clothes you would like to bring and place them in an orderly fashion on your bed. I try to bring about one outfit for each day of the week, but initially start with about twice that on my bed. Anything beyond one weeks worth of clothes will definitely throw you over any weight restrictions. Obviously, you don't want to wear the same outfit the same day of each week. So, try to bring outfits that can be mixed to create multiple different looks. I tend to pack more dance clothes than I do regular clothes, as you will probably spend more time in dance clothes and you sweat through them faster in any given week. I also try to bring two options of dress outfits, shoes included. I am almost always invited to a company function or theatre event during my time on location. If it is winter, keep in mind that you will need to bring extra layers, including scarves, gloves, and hats (and maybe even snow boots). I also try to bring a couple of extra items to occupy myself in the event that I can't find transportation and am living in a more suburban area. I have been known to pack my Nintendo Wii for any gig that lasts longer than a week. I also have to assess which toiletries I will need while I'm away. Will my host family provide these items and, if not, would it be cheaper to bring them with me or buy them when I arrive? Also, will the weight of these items throw checked luggage over the maximum weight allotment?

Now that I have laid everything out on my bed, I have to assess what is a necessity, what is a luxury, and what is a comfort. Necessities obviously take priority, followed by comfort, then luxury. Although, at times you may feel like that extra trendy outfit is a necessity, it is always annoying when you finish a gig and realize that you haven't utilized certain pieces of clothing and that you had to pay extra to get your luggage on the flight because it was overweight. You don't necessarily have to pack all of each item (shirts, tights, etc) together. As I put my "necessary" items into my luggage and gauge how much extra space I have, I'll add some of my comfort and luxury items, while putting away clothes that I realize I don't need. I may repeat this process 4 or 5 times. Often, I will put my necessary tights in my big luggage and place the ones that are a luxury in my other luggage. By doing this, not only have I given myself time to assess my needs, but I have also split items up. This protects me in the event that any checked luggage doesn't arrive at my destination.

Now that you have packed all of your belongings, you can use a scale to make sure that your bag isn't overweight. First weigh yourself. Then, weigh yourself while holding your luggage. Subtract the "holding luggage" weight from your own weight and you should have a pretty good idea whether you are going to go over. If you are traveling via train or bus, it is much less likely that you will have an issue with weight for your bags, but check with the company's website prior to packing your things.  Lastly, for comfort, I suggest carrying a neck pillow in your travels. I use this item for two things. Not only is it great to keep your neck more upright if you fall asleep, but it also doubles as great back support in an uncomfortable airplane, train, or bus seat.

On a final note, I suggest that you always leave a bit of extra space in your luggage, so that it isn't overweight with all of the souvenirs that you purchased during your travels. The first time I freelanced away from home for an extended period of time, I was surprised that I can survive on a week worth of clothing when Im away. It makes me second guess how much I really need all of the clothing that is sitting in my closet and drawers at home. Be smart about your needs for packing. Try to pack more strategically and less emotionally. Though, always be sure to bring one or two things with you to remind you of home!

Dancing out of your comfort zone

There are many aspect of freelance dancing that involve dancing out of your comfort zone. From being in new environments to dancing with new groups of people to accepting the challenge of very different styles. As a part of my search for work, I decided to take a risk and send my information to Momix. The company self-describes itself as being "known internationally for presenting work of exceptional inventiveness and physical beauty, MOMIX is a company of dancer-illusionists." It is not uncommon for me to send my information to a company with absolutely no expectation of receiving a response. But to my surprise, I received an email from the company two days ago asking if I would be interested in taking a master class to be seen and considered for the company while they were in Philly performing. Well, this blog is pretty fresh, as I just got home from taking the master class. It was definitely an interesting experience that threw me way out of my "safe" place.

Momix in action

I was actually pretty nervous to take this master class with Momix. When I take master, open, or company classes with ballet companies, I have a good idea of what to expect. I have never taken class with a company like Momix and, honestly, I had absolutely no idea what was in store for me. Were we going to start with a ballet class? Would the class be completely based on modern technique? Were they going to see if I could stand on my head and do back flips? I am much more unnerved by the unknown. If I have the knowledge that something is going to be out of my comfort zone, then it is a lot easier for me to cope with my own thoughts. Awareness of expectation is the biggest comfort for me. I debated whether it was worth my time to go and take this class. I decided that it was more important for me to be open to a new experience, then it was for me to dismiss an opportunity to learn about something that I was unfamiliar with. Not only that, but this was a free opportunity to take class for the day. This saves me the cost of my daily maintenance class. Snaps to that!

At about 12:20 pm, I ventured through Center City towards the University of the Arts. I am familiar with Uarts because I have rehearsed there before. If I could find comfort in anything it was that. As I walked down the streets of Philadelphia towards the studios, I felt a little flutter in my chest. I don't like to admit nervousness, but it was clearly there. I was wondering how big the class was going to be and whether I was going to have to fight my way around the studio. My biggest concern, though, was still if I would be lost with the material and make a fool of myself. This is a huge issue for dancers that have made it to a professional level. As a student, you are allowed to fail. As a professional, you are expected to hold up well in any situation. This is a common issue that many dancers are faced with.

I finally made it to Uarts and made my way upstairs to change and warm up. When I arrived in the lobby of the studios, I found that I was the only dancer there. I thought to myself, "maybe Im in the wrong building" (given that there are multiple venues that Uarts rehearses in). After I determined that I was in the right place, I anxiously waited for a rush of dancers to show up. Well, that never happened. By the time the company dancer who would be conducting the master class showed up, there were 5 dancers present. A full class can be difficult because it can be hard to find your space and the varied level of dancers often leads to instances where your neighbor has no concept of spatial awareness. The opposite can also be a challenge. With fewer dancers, there is less energy to bounce off of and there is also no opportunity to hide when you need a rest or can't pick up a step. Well, we were on the small side for a class. And not only that, the age and experience of the group was wildly varied. One dancer was a Uarts Junior, three of the other dancers were between the age of 55 and 65, and then there was me.

The teacher handled this smaller, eccentric group pretty well. Instead of running us into the ground for an hour and a half, he sat us down for the first half hour and gave us a history of Momix and the concepts that are used behind their work. The company is directed by Moses Pendleton, who is not a dancer. He took a movement class in university and created a visual piece with a couple of friends for his final project. It was so interesting that it got picked up to tour. This was the birth of Momix. The dancers take a ballet class every morning followed by about an hour of open improv. These improv sessions take steps that are eventually cultivated to become the choreography that becomes a show.  Our class was based off of these improv sessions. We warmed up with a short improv session, which was followed by some stretching in the center of the studio. After that, we performed some more improv that was only mildly guided. I have improv'ed before, but I would hardly say that I am an expert at it. I have a moderate amount of experience with it, but at a certain point I prefer more direction.

After we completed our first few improvs across the floor, the teacher took two of the dancer's themes and turned them into a creature. This is where it really started to get interesting. One of the 60-something women had to jump up onto my shoulders (where I had to hold her for nearly 5 minutes) and did a pump with her chest and upper body, while one of the other older ladies did her foot-stomping improv in front of us. My job was to hide myself behind the stomping lady. Essentially we created a stomping, chest pumping giant. I wasn't too thrilled about having to maintain a sexagenarians weight for such a long period of time, but I convinced myself that this experience will be worth it at some point. And if not, at least it will be a good story. As we really started to get into the pumping, I was relieved that my shoulder-sitting partner had to leave to feed the parking meter with her stomping friend. At this point, the only people left dancing were myself and the Uarts student, as the other dancer could barely walk across the floor, let alone move her body to the music due to aging joints and bones. I did appreciate her will to try and remain active through her old years, though.

So, the final segment of this class was 2 open 2-minute improvs that emphasized who we were as dancers. We danced to a slow piece of music, followed by a tribal, high-speed selection. I feel that my slow improv was stellar, but once I got to the fast-paced music I started to lose my groove. I started to run out of material and was wishing that I would have been given a bit more direction to guide my improv. What I enjoyed most about this part of the class was watching the Uarts student really excel in her improv. She was very talented and very interesting to watch.

In the end, I was not as out of my comfort zone as I had expected to be, but I was still pretty far from comfortable. I'm learning throughout my career that I don't always have to impress people when Im dancing. Sometimes, I just have to do what I need to for myself, so that I can learn from these experiences. Even though this master class was really an audition for me, it wasn't so much about me solidifying a job as it was a chance to continue the expansion of my improv knowledge. It took me a while of dancing professionally to understand and respect improv. As I gain more experience with it, I'm learning the complexities behind it and am growing to respect how difficult it can be to create on the spot. It is truly a skill that is hard for many highly-trained dancers to master. So, in the end, was I comfortable and content with this experience? Absolutely not! But did I gain something from this master class, I sure did. And by that, I mean more than just a damn good story.