New York Called

My view from the Bolt Bus as I wrote this post

Nearly 15 years ago, I sat in the backseat of my mom’s car with my luggage packed in the trunk and stars in my teary eyes. We were waiting in line to pass through the bottle-necking entrance of the Lincoln Tunnel. I had just completed my final year of pre-professional training at the School of American Ballet, was embarking on an exciting career journey, and had just offered goodbyes to many friends that I still remain close to today. While I was sad to say goodbye to my friends and to move on to the next stage of my dance life, I wasn’t crying for either of those reasons. I knew then that it would be quite awhile before I called the city that I felt so closely connected to home. The city that inspired me to work hard. The city that showed me art mattered. The city where I grew from child to man. There I was, in the back seat of the car talking out loud as if the city had ears, “One day you’ll be home again. I’ll be back!” Well, I’m not one to say things that I don’t mean. Today is that day.

Awhile back, I wrote a post titled “New York Calling,” where I considered the fact that New York seems to hold some strange gravitational pull for any artist that calls themselves dancer. At that time, I was caught in the middle of my freelance performance career floating from gig to gig with little direction but the wind. I wasn’t necessarily getting much work in the city, but I was receiving little sparks of possibility as I began dreaming of settling down from traveling for a little bit. While I started feeling that pull to return a few years ago, circumstances just seemed incorrect or impossible to move the hour and a half hop, skip, and jump north of my hometown.

At one point in my life, I would have probably just run with my gut feeling and moved to the city without furniture, job, or care for how I was going to make something happen. But things changed at some point along my artistic journey. When I first met my partner, I gave him the daunting ultimatum, “Don’t make me choose between you and my career...because I won’t choose you.” After agreeing to this intense consideration, he moved to Seattle to be with me (I claimed 2 weeks after he moved that I was auditioning to leave PNB, which took nearly 5 years to actually happen) and later relocated to Philadelphia for the next stage of my career. But by the time I started realizing Philly wasn't working out, I couldn’t choose between him or my career. He had already given up so much just to be with me, so I needed to give him a chance to develop himself and his career. So, I’ve freelanced out of Philadelphia for 4 years and ignored the pull of the dance capitol.

I came to a realization in the last year, mostly brought on by my first extended period of time staying home in Philly the first half of 2015. During my time at home, I did everything that I could possibly do to find inspiring work and connect myself to the greater Philadelphia professional dance scene. I sent applications to teach at pre-professional training programs, I applied for a ballet master position with PA Ballet, and I reached out to find a way to be a part of the greater ballet scene the city has to offer. At one point, I even applied for a week-long collaboration residency that placed Philadelphia-based artists with others in different genres. My rejection letter was kind, but I was disheartened by the feedback that stated, "It seems you are more interested in meeting artists than collaborating with them."

While there were moments of hope, I was left to go back to my regular way of working; creating my own inspiration and traveling the country to places that valued my work. By the time this summer had passed, I began craving outside inspiration and a place to call my artistic home. And it just seemed that Philly wasn't going to offer that to me. I knew what I had to do. But I was afraid to say it. I was afraid to ask. I was afraid to give myself permission. What if I moved to New York?

I spent much of the fall season working on my Core-ography project and developing my AK-BK Intensive Winter Workshop in Anchorage. But New York was on my mind the whole time. Slowly, but surely, I realized that I had to make this happen. During a quick visit to the city right before heading up to Alaska this past December, I mentioned to a good friend that I have freelanced with in the past that I was looking for a place to live. I was just catching this friend up on what I was doing. And, by chance, he happened to have a room opening up at his apartment.

Fast-forward a little over a month later, and here I am (I started this blog on the bus and finished after I settled in) laying in my brand new bedroom, staring out my window at the beaming George Washington Bridge, and smiling after my first day as a new resident of this incredible city. What am I going to do now that I'm here? I don't know. But I am so excited to have hope, possibility, and dreams staring me straight on. I look forward to looking back at this post down the road and seeing where this risk and adventure takes me.

View of George Washington Bridge from my bedroom window

How Much Should I Get Paid?

Today, I’m going to discuss a topic that I’ve mostly avoided since starting this blog. It’s not that I’ve avoided talking about money because I’m afraid to share my worth. It is more that money, in this funny dance world, is a very complicated matter that isn’t always affected proportionately by worth and experience. With each experience that we have, our value should grow. But in the dance world, you can be offered to dance in two works of equal value in the same time-frame with the same company with one year in between them and get offered grossly disproportionate sums of money that, in reality, should be a marker representing your true value as an artist. Beyond that, there is always a chance that a dancer will underestimate their worth because they are afraid that they will be turned down for work. For these reasons, salary talk for freelance dancers is a tricky, fickle beast.

Most people would avoid putting their yearly salary out there for the public to see. I don’t feel it would be effective for me to announce my freelancing salary, but I am happy to share that when I left Pacific Northwest Ballet; after 7 years in the corps, collecting unemployment during lay-offs, and working as a union representative, I was making over $60,000 yearly. It was a cushy job that had great benefits and showed a personal investment by the company in my dedication to my workplace. Each year, whether I got bumped up in status (Apprentice, Corps, Senior Corps, Soloist, Principal), I got a seniority raise that loosely represented my accrued value to the company. Once I left PNB and started freelancing, I didn’t really know what to expect when it came to salary.

When I first started taking freelancing work, I would generally accept the financial offering of whomever was willing to hire me. Whether I was getting paid per show or per week, I wasn’t comfortable negotiating my own fees and I didn’t really understand how to properly define my worth. At the start, it was challenging for me to go from making $1,325 per week to being offered $400 per week. I often felt like I was selling out on my true worth. But what it came down to was this. Do I want to work or do I want to sit on my ass looking for work that made me feel like I was being compensated at my appropriate value?

I was lucky that I had my partner talking me through this challenging period. He kept reminding me this, “You built yourself up to the level that you were at with PNB and that took some time. You can’t expect to jump into freelancing and for everybody to treat you just like that. You need to put in the time and effort as a freelancer and build yourself back up from the beginning.” This advice turned out to be quite true.

People don't just hand you things! (Abby Relic & me wasting time backstage during rehearsal at PNB)

My first season dancing in multiple shows of the Nutcracker, I made less than half of what I make at the moment. Where I used to take whatever offers came my way and leave negotiation for my pay out of the equation, now I have a set rate that is generally non-negotiable (whether per week or per show). If my rate can’t be met, then I will pass the gig on to a friend that may need to build up their freelancing portfolio. While it wouldn’t be wise to share my rate publicly, I will note that I feel that after nearly four years of freelancing, I am getting paid somewhere near what I think my value is as a national-level Principal Guest Artist.

As for programs outside of Nutcracker, this is a completely different story. While I definitely do negotiate my rates for weeks of works and performances, it is trickier to determine what is acceptable for my services. My first freelancing jobs were somewhere within the range of $400-$600 per week or $500 per show. Most of the work that I performed ended up being on a weekly rate (which I always try to negotiate in the event of injury. If you get injured during a three-week rehearsal period and are getting paid per performance, then you are not getting any compensation for the work put in). The challenge of this period was that I couldn't afford to pay all of my bills, saving for self-employment taxes, and paying off debt that I had accrued during off periods at that rate. I took the work because there wasn't a great many calls coming in and because I was afraid to negotiate a different wage that might have changed the opinion of the director offering me the gig. During this period, I essentially ate up all of my savings that I had built before leaving my cushy job with PNB.

After a year of freelancing, I started making more sense of my negotiation strategy. When a company would low-ball me for my salary, I would tell them the absolute minimum figure that I had determined I needed to pay my bills, save for taxes, and put a little in savings for time between gigs. I knew it would be easier to negotiate my rate without feeling uncomfortable asking for more if I told the directors that it was the minimum for me to survive month to month. This went over well and showed that I wasn't greedy. The funny thing, though, is that my first job offering with the Colorado Ballet at the young age of 18 was for $500 per week. With nearly ten years of experience, I was traveling around the country begging companies to pay me just a little more than that base salary.

After my second year of freelancing, I started to realize that my work, my blog, and the validation that my product was very good was becoming better known. When work started coming my way, it was very rare for job offers to come in at the lower end of my survival number. Only two non-Nutcracker gigs came my way that were below the level of salary that I was regularly accruing. I finally hit a place where I felt that my value was being appropriately assessed. In the end, the reason that I chose to take those two jobs with a lower salary rate was because I was more interested in the experience than negotiating myself a higher salary. I was interested in working with the companies, directors, and choreographers that were involved in those programs. I also didn't negotiate with them because I was concerned that negotiating would deter them from holding their offer to me for work.

I always wanted to work w/ this lovely lady! Amy Seiwert running rehearsals at Alaska Dance Theatre

One tricky aspect of obtaining work as a freelancer is negotiating mindfully without overstepping the comfort zone of your possible employer. While many directors have a moderate range of flexibility with their financial offers, others have no wiggle room in their budget. Depending on the director and how much they want/need you, you could get what you want or turn them off from working with you. For instance, if you are working for a gig that will include 8 dancers and all of the dancers are being paid the same rate, it will be more difficult to negotiate a higher wage. Yes, maybe you have a bigger resume then them, but is it fair to pay differently if you are all performing the same load of work? There is no right or wrong answer to this, but there are exceptions. Often directors wont be comfortable giving preferential treatment to one dancer over another. Sometimes, it is beneficial to ask if there is any leeway in a company's budget before asking to negotiate. In these instances, you can only be hopeful that the director is being honest instead of tight-pocketed.

In the end, it is up to the dancer to assess their own value. Look at your experience, look at your recent work, and look at your monthly financial needs to determine what is an appropriate amount to seek. If you danced with a small regional company, don't go out looking for over $1000 per week. If you have a bigger name company on your resume with famous roles in well-known ballets, it will be easier for you to negotiate up. Even those dancers sometimes have to build their freelancing portfolio before they can survive off of this kind of work. Know your true worth, and not your ego's worth. And know that your true worth is malleable dependent upon the budget of the people offering you a job. Unfortunately, our arts world doesn't exist on the same plane as the sports or major for-profit worlds work. Don't accept work away from home (b/c if you are home, you can work multiple gigs, teach, etc.) if it doesn't cover all of your monthly bills, travel, and housing. And do your best to be thankful to those employers that offer you work at a rate that is too far below your standards. While you may feel offended by a low-balled offer, they may be in a building phase and trying to get, you, one of the best dancers they know. Take it as a compliment!

Always be gracious - Dancing Romeo w/ Fort Wayne Ballet (Photo: Jeffrey Crane)

Check out my article in Dance/USA - Freelancing and Nutcracker season

Check out the article that I recently wrote for Dance/USA about finding work and performing in the Nutcracker as a freelance dancer. Enjoy!

Ballet’s Biggest Annual Party: Freelancing ‘The Nutcracker'

Freelancing isn't all glory

Nearly every person that I speak to about my freelancing career usually responds with "You're life is so exciting!" I wouldn't necessarily disagree, but at times it is also exciting in a less than glorious way. I have been freelancing for about a year now and part of that time I was relying on regular, seasonal work with a company in Philadelphia. It was only at the beginning of April when I was forcibly placed into the role of full-time freelance dancer. I am not stating this to take away from the depth of knowledge that I do have about this field. While I am experienced, I am also continuing to have new experiences and learning about specific challenges that freelancers face. Unfortunately, freelancing is a lot of "you live, you learn." In the process of learning, it may present challenges to see how industrious and strong a person you are.

I know that this post is much darker than other writings on this blog, but there are certain realities that freelancers or those that wish to become one need to be aware of. Yes, I get to travel the world to dance. Yes, I get to follow my passion. Yes, I am my own boss. But there is also a harsher side of freelancing. First and foremost, pick-up dancers are not governed by a union that negotiates their contracts for them. Instead, it is the dancer's responsibility to make sure that all of their needs are met and put down in writing before committing to a gig. Unfortunately, most dancers don't realize exactly what this means until they have an experience that brings one of these needs to their attention. A majority of the time these issues relate to environment or transportation, but it can also relate to commitment and pay. Just read this article about the poor state of financial appreciation/respect for dance artists. When negotiating a contract, some employers will low-ball a dancer's pay. They may not be doing this to disrespect a dancer, but instead to preserve the financial well-being of the company. At the same time, it can be impossible for a dancer to meet their monthly needs at $400-$500/week. This can make it difficult to commit to work. Dancers want to be working and there is always the question of whether a dancer will be able to find better work during that period. So, negotiations need to take place. A dancer who is in demand may find that they are negotiating multiple contracts at once, which makes it easier to make little mistakes or miss a clause that is important. And being a young individual negotiating with the person who will presumably become your employer can be quite uncomfortable. Learning how to effectively negotiate salary is important for a freelancer. It is an art and it is a different process with each potential employer. A dancer doesn't want to appear selfish and egotistical. But at the same time, why shouldn't a dancer have the ability to pay their bills or put a little bit of money in their savings account? This is, in my opinion, one of the hardest parts of being a freelance dancer.

Another aspect of freelancing that presents a great challenge is covering your bills when you are not dancing for an employer. You can read about different things I do to survive in my previous blog, Summer Slow-down. Even though there are a lot of great ideas there, dancers can still encounter certain challenges in making ends meet. I am one of those dancers that prefers to find work that helps enrich my dance career, instead of seeking part-time work outside of my field. When I am not dancing, I am usually able to find work teaching master classes (I am lucky enough to be well connected in the Philadelphia region since I was raised in the suburbs). I have also obtained work at national competitions and performing minor gigs. Since I choose not to get a job outside of my field and my weekly offerings change, I don't necessarily have a great way to gauge exactly what my monthly income will be. Also, these teaching/judging/gigs don't typically work on contract. I recently had an issue where I committed my workday to teach for an organization and spent hours creating new choreography for them (I even paid for music for the event). I was given 36 hours notice that the event was cancelled. Not only was I out on the salary that I was expecting, but there was not enough time to find new work to replace lost income. This isn't a frequent occurrence, but freelancers need to be efficient about spending and saving their money for times like this. It is difficult to hold somebody accountable for issues like this, as most of this type of work is done off contract. But now you can see how important it is to negotiate work that will leave you a certain amount of savings.

Lastly, freelancers have to figure out how to deal with injury. One of the scariest parts of freelancing is that many dancers can't afford health coverage. You can read further about this and find important information about how to seek coverage, if you can afford it, here. I am lucky enough that I have been able to maintain my health insurance to this point. But even with health coverage, injuries can present great problems. One of the most difficult aspects of dancing is knowing when an injury is going to take you out. Obviously, if there is a major fracture involved (knock on wood), you are not going to be able to dance. But most dancer's injuries occur from overuse or include various levels of sprains. These injuries can sometimes be pushed through. Other times, they can be pushed through to a degree, but may eventually do more serious or permanent damage. So, first a dancer needs to know their limits and determine when it is acceptable to continue working. Freelancers have a tendency to work through injuries more than regularly contracted dancers. Not only because they tend to be more aggressive and strong minded, but also because they often have no choice. "Do I pay my rent this month or do I end up back at home or living couch to couch with friends?" This is one of the hardest and scariest aspects of freelancing. If you have a great support system from your parents, the freelancing life can be simple to navigate. But if you are on your own or far away from home, there will be times that challenge your strength as a dancer and person.

There are other aspects of freelancing that are not as glorious as they seem, but negotiating work, making ends meet during off-times, and dealing with injuries are three of the harshest realities of this lifestyle. There are ways to work with each of these, but a dancer must be aware of the challenges that lay ahead of them when they choose this path. My upcoming blogs will bring "Life of a Freelance Dancer" back to more positive posts. My feelings, though, are that this blog should share every aspect of freelancing and, unfortunately, it isn't all glory.

How do I get work?

One of the scariest things for me was learning how to find work on my own. Throughout a dancer's training, especially in the field of ballet, we are taught verbally and by example that one should never be outwardly expressive about their talents and successes. Perhaps, it goes back to the ideals of ballet being a generally silent art form. The culture of most companies impresses a sense of humility upon dancers. This can be a beautiful quality to have as a person, but this mentality can make it quite difficult to promote oneself to potential employers.

I myself struggled throughout my career within a major company with this mentality. I was "only" a corps members. Why would somebody want to hire me to perform leading roles, when my main job was to dance lesser roles. When I left that company to join a smaller company, I really had no choice but to look for freelance work since my contract was merely 22 weeks long. That is unless I wanted to get a side job that had nothing to do with ballet, which I didn't want to do. I wanted to create a plan, but how does one find out who to contact or how to get in contact with possible employers?

I lucked out since I was required to perform 3 work searches a week to maintain certain benefits when I left my previous company. Essentially, this broke the barrier of me being too "humble" to unabashedly email companies and schools to tell them how great I was. So, I first set forth with what I knew. What are the major companies in the country? ABT, NYCB, SFB, PNB, Houston, Boston. Sent. "Greetings. My name is Barry Kerollis. I am a freelance dancer based out of Philadelphia. I recently left 'insert company name' after 7 seasons with the company and have danced with numerous other companies on a freelance basis. I am sending you my information in the event that you need a dancer for any of your company's upcoming productions." That said, most of those companies didn't respond, or already knew me previously, or knew that I was just performing a work search. So, my next step was to email a handful of other companies that I had auditioned for in the past, heard of, knew friends that danced there, or had read about in a magazine. Some companies told me that they would keep my information on file, while others told me that they only hire dancers for a full season.

Once, I had exhausted the resources of my own knowledge, I started looking at materials that were readily available to me. Every month, I check Pointe, Dance Magazine, and Dance Spirit. I don't just look at the informative articles, but I also look at the ads. If a company sounds interesting to me, I find a way to email them. If their website doesn't offer a specific email to send information to for auditions or employment, I will send my information to their general email account and ask that my information be forwarded to the artistic director.

Another great resource is the world wide web. I have found numerous websites that either give audition information, allow dancers to list themselves in a database, or that offer information about companies that I had never thought of. Websites that post audition information include Pointe Magazine, Dance Magazine, Dance Plug, Network Dance, and Dance.net. Some of these websites are more reliable than others. At the same time, some offer varied work in different fields. For instance, Pointe magazine's audition section will be more valuable to a dancer who's focus is in ballet. While most of the auditions/jobs that are listed are for full-time contracts, it doesn't necessarily mean that the company wouldn't be interested in picking up a dancer for a program or need someone to replace an injured dancer for a period of time.

Other websites that can be useful allow you to list yourself in a database. You can do that on Network Dance and Dance Plug, but I haven't had the opportunity to test them out yet. The two websites that are strictly available to market yourself to employers are Need Dancers and Got Prince. On these websites, (sometimes dependent on whether you pay a fee or not), you can list anything from your basic information to a variety of things, including posting multiple photos and a dance reel.

A final internet option for me is a website that I check daily and for which I have been made fun of by my colleagues for years. This is because there tends to be a lot of gossip and it is a public message board where anybody can post. The name of this board is Ballet Talk. Information on this site ranges from personal reviews of performances and opinions on different aspects of ballet, all the way to gossip about dancers and angry interactions between crazed ballet fans. It can be quite amusing or quite mortifying (especially if you find yourself the target of somebody's rant). Every morning, I wake up and read through the links section like its the daily newspaper and drink my coffee. This part of the board has posts with links to newspaper articles and reviews about what is happening in ballet today. This is how I keep updated on the current state of the ballet world. And I have been known to see an article about a company and email them to see if they need a dancer for anything.

Another option for getting work would be to find an agent. I am not very well versed in the world of agencies, but I am currently listed with DManagement. In order to obtain an agent, a dancer either needs to audition for the agency or have some reference that knows the agent personally to vouch for them. The agent will then send out listings of work that they think may be right for a dancer. They will also take a cut of the deal when they get you work. You can read more about this here: http://pointemagazine.com/issues/aprilmay-2012/company-life-middleman.

Lastly and, in my opinion, most importantly, a freelance dancer can find work through networking and friends involved in the dance world. Honestly, I have gotten the largest percentage of my work through word of mouth from friends and colleagues. This approach, unfortunately, is one that comes with time and experience. But the networking can begin as early as your professional level training. In high level training programs, some of your peers will eventually become professionals. After school, your colleagues can be great advocates. For me, personally, other dancing friends have become lifelines. I have had friends that are unable to do a gig, and they called me up and offered me the opportunity to take that work. When this happens, I am likely to think of that person first when it comes to work that I can't do. It is a greatly reciprocal field. So, be sure to build great connections, maintain them, and help one another. Freelancers know how hard this career can be. There tends to be less competition amongst one another and better level of support amongst one another.

Once you get past the initial phase of developing a system to look for work, there are many other things that need to be taken into consideration. Like what information do you send, who do you market yourself to be, how to build your profile, and much more. Stay tuned for the answers to these question, as well as some personal accounts of my life as a freelance dancer.